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This race is closer than...
A personal injury attorney and a speeding ambulance.
A rolled-up hundred dollar bill and Charlie Sheen's nostril.
65-year-old Dolly Parton's unteathered boobs and Dolly Parton's knees.
Ricky Martin and Ryan Seacrest on free lube night at the Beverly Hills' Manhole.
Governor Scott Walker's nose and financier David Koch's ass.
A tube of Valtrex and Snookie's cooter.
A pair of jockey shorts and Rick's nut sack on a humid day.
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