Friday, August 5, 2011

WEENIE OF THE WEEK FOR 8/5/11


We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...
the 16-year-old who was busted early Tuesday morning doing 111 miles per hour on
Highway 151 in Dodge County while on his way home from what he called a
late night "taco run" to Beaver Dam. In his defense, the driver told cops he thought he was only doing 95.
So, for not trying to outrun the deputy into the next county...I mean didn't he realize that his late night taco run qualifies as a "run for the border" anyway?
For not using a plausible excuse when pulled over...sorry, officer, but I just ate five tacos and I was speeding home because I really gotta poop. Like now!
And for telling the officer that you thought you were only going 95 miles per hour instead of the 111 he says you were traveling, which is still 30 miles per hour over the speed limit. That proves that with your math skills, you'll likely end up working in an industry where you won't have to travel far for fast food tacos...you'll be behind the counter...and you'll be getting the employee discount.
We are proud to name the 16-year-old 111-miler per hour Beaver Dam taco runner as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week.

Monday, August 1, 2011

AMY WINEHOUSE...MOTHER?


The London Daily Mirror reports that the late Amy Winehouse (pop star, heavy drinker, drug queen) was in the process of trying to adopt a 10-year-old girl from the island of St. Lucia. That sounds to us like a pretty bad idea!

Having Amy Winehouse as your parent would be like having Billy Joel as your chauffer.

It would be like having Ozzy Osbourne as your translator.

Like having Courtney Love as your pharmacist.

Like having Lady Gaga as your personal fashion designer.

Like having Jay Cutler as your wedding planner.

Like having Larry King as your marriage counselor.

Like having Michell Bachmann as your history teacher.

Like having Barack Obama as your credit counselor.

Like having Governor Walker as your union's local chairman.

Like having Dee Snider of Twisted Sister as your makeup technician.

In fact, having Amy Winehouse as a parent would be like having Rick McNeal
as your sex ed instructor.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

GRAPH THE BEATLES

With Paul McCartney's big shows tonight and tomorrow night at Wrigley Field, it seems like a good time to take a look at Graphjam.com's funny Beatles graphs.






Friday, July 29, 2011

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 7-29-11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week...20-year-old Jordan Cardella of South Milwaukee and his two buddies Anthony Woodall and Michael Wezyk. Cardella convinced his friends to shoot him with a rifle so that his ex-girlfriend would feel sorry for him and take him back. Even the prosecutor called this "the most phenomenally stupid case I've ever seen". And Wezyk's attorney agreed, saying he was "sorry to bring something so stupid into (the judges) courtroom".

So,

For getting his buddy to shoot a hole in his arm...which should go perfectly with the hole he must have in his head.

For coming up with a plan so dumb, Jordan, Michael and Anthony should change their names to Moe, Larry and Curly.

And for proving that a shot in the arm with a syringe may treat a virus but a shot in the arm with a rifle is no cure for a broken heart.

We are proud to name Jordan Cardella, Michael Wezyk and Anthony Woodall of South Milwaukee as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIES OF THE WEEK!

COCKTAIL FRANK 7.29.11

Some week's we have more than one really good Weenie of the Week Candidate (and this week we had several). Occasionally, we name a runner up, someone not quite a big enough weenie to get the full title. They're a smaller weenie. They're our Rick and Len Show COCKTAIL FRANK!

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Cocktail Frank...Sheboygan Mayor Bob Ryan who reportedly fell off the wagon HARD earlier this month, getting drunk at two bars during an alleged weekend bender in Elkhart Lake, getting into what police are calling a "scuffle" with another patron and hassling women, two of whom allegedly flashed the mayor, but not until after he was passed out on the bar.

So,

For not realizing that Elkhart Lake bars are no place to mix politics and alcohol. That what the Kennedy Compound is for.


For falling off the wagon so many times, it's amazing he doesn't have wheel track marks across his chest.

And for not understanding that as a politician, he's supposed to be passing out favors not passing out on the bar.

We are proud to name Sheboygan Mayor Bob Ryan as this week's Rick and Len Show…COCKTAIL FRANK!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

PIECE OF MASS

Dallas police busted this guy this week for allegedly running a sex club that he claims is a church. The "church" reportedly had porn playing on big screen televisions, topless dancers, and condom-stocked VIP rooms with beds. Here are the ways to differentiate between a sex club and a real church.

If a lot of people seem to be on their knees but none of them are actually praying...it might not be a real church.

If there are no hymns playing despite the presence of many available organs...it might not be a real church.

If the only time someone calls out the name of god, it's while they're having an orgasm...it might not be a real church.

If that wasn't holy water you just got sprayed with...it might not be a real church.

If "the host" you’re expected to put in your mouth isn't a communion wafer but rather, the guy running the party...it might not be a real church.

If the priest isn't the only one getting some action...it might not be a real church.

If you see a woman with beads that are not a rosary because nobody in their right mind would put a rosary where she just had those beads...it might not be a real church.

If there are plenty of people getting nailed but none of them to a cross...it's definitely NOT a real church!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

OFF HIS ROCK-ER

A guy in Sweden is receiving support from the Swedish government for having a psychological because he suffers from an addiction to Heavy Metal. Here's some of the signs you too may have a heavy metal addiction.

If you spend so much time going to concerts you hardly ever see your daughters Lars, Slash and Yngwie...you might be addicted to heavy metal.

If you were almost late for your own wedding because you couldn’t decide which black t-shirt to wear...you might be addicted to heavy metal.

If you've ever been injured moshing at a baptism...you might be addicted to heavy metal.

If you flash your metal horns at a concert so often, you end up wiggling your fingers more than a woman having sex with Rosie O'Donnell...you might be addicted to heavy metal.

Monday, July 25, 2011

JAY WALKING!

REASONS JAY CUTLER CALLED OFF HIS UPCOMING WEDDING TO MTV STAR KRISTIN CAVALLARI

10. Caught her wearing his mascara.

9. Couldn't walk all the way down the aisle without re-injuring knee.

8. They couldn't decide on a gown...or which one would get to wear it.

7. Found out that unlike the team he plays for, she doesn't suck.

6. Was afraid people would see him cry in church which wouldn't be manly the way it is on a football field.

5. He couldn't find a garter in Bears' colors and his size.

4. Realized they weren't really compatible when he learned she has a vagina.

3. Only store they could register at was Bed Bath and Beyond All Comprehension Why This Guy is a Starting NFL Quarterback.

2. While they didn't know what they were going to receive that was "something old, something new or something borrowed" the something "blew" was what he did to his team's chances of winning the 2011 NFC Championship game.

1. What? Jay Cutler quit on something. Say it ain'’t so. Next thing you’re going to be telling me is Amy Winehouse didn't die of natural causes!

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 7.25.11

July 15th City of Manitowoc
A 22-year-old man was arrested on an alleged strangulation charge. According to police, that man's girlfriend poured water on him in an effort to wake him up as he was sleeping on the bathroom floor and she needed to use the restroom. The man reportedly awoke and grabbed her by the neck.

July 17th City of West Allis
Police responded to a report of a male being stabbed. When police arrived, a male victim told them he had not been stabbed, but rather, his fiancee grabbed his scrotum and pulled it, causing an injury. The male victim was taken to Froedtert Hospital to stitch his detached scrotum.

July 12th City of Portage
Offices responded to a report of a disturbance. A 76-year-old man allegedly punched another man in the mouth. He was reportedly angry that the other man had opened a window.

July 16th City of Portage
Police stopped a vehicle for not having headlights turned on. The 17-year-old driver was arrested on a tentative charge of operating while drugged after he told them he smoked marijuana before going to see a "Harry Potter" movie.

June 26th City of Neenah
Police cited a 20-year-old man for shoplifting after he stole a $60 pair of Nike shoes from a department store on Green Bay Road. The man told police that he didn't think it was a big deal since all of his friends take shoes.

July 13th Village of Elm Grove
A woman on Blue Ridge Boulevard reported that four teenagers wearing costumes knocked on her door and, when she answered, said "trick or treat". She believed this was suspicious since it is the middle of July.

July 12th City of Oak Creek
A 20-year-old man told police he was assaulted by two men who stole his gold necklace and his bag of McDonald's cheeseburgers.

July 12 City of Brown Deer
A 45-year-old man was arrested for drunken driving after he was found hunched over his steering wheel with motor running. The man had vomit on his face and hands. When asked when he threw up, the man looked at the officer in "disbelief" saying it wasn't vomit, it was food.

July 20th City of Portage
Police arrested two women who reportedly swore at each other during a disturbance at Wendy's.

June 26th City of Neenah
The staff at a hotel at Cameron Way reported that a guest cracked a flat-screen television in a room. The room also… had vomit in it.

July 12th Village of Elm Grove
A woman reported that an MP3 player was taken from an unlocked car. A note left in the car stated: "Lock your doors hunny (sp), thanks for the iPod." An acquaintance of the woman later admitted had taken the music player to teach her to lock her car doors.

July 12th City of Oak Creek
Police were called to the South Shore Cinema where an 18-year-old man snuck into a movie he did not pay to see. When theater personnel and police tried to eject him, he shouted profanities and refused to leave his seat, forcing police to physically remove him from the theater. The disruption caused the movie to be stopped and all the patrons were refunded the ticket price.

July 11th Village of Winneconne
A couple on Lincoln Avenue called police to report that upon awakening around 6 a.m. they found a man in his underwear standing in their bedroom. They yelled at the man and he ran out the patio door and onto a screened porch. The couple continued yelling and the man left. Police tracked him down through a neighbor of the couple who said the underwear clad man knocked on his door and asked for a ride and the man obliged. When police spoke to the intruder he told them he'd been at a tavern and couldn't remember much of what happened after he left the place. He did not remember removing his clothing or entering the Lincoln Avenue home. When he awoke in the morning he went looking for the bathroom and wound up in the bedroom of people he did not know. They yelled and he ran.

Friday, July 22, 2011

WIN TIX TO SEE PAUL MCCARTNEY AT WRIGLEY!

Join us next week for the Rick and Len Show and your chance to win tickets to see a true living legend...Sir Paul McCartney at Wrigley Field!!!!!!

Rick and Len, 6 to 10 only here on the Rockin' Apple!

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 7.22.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...the Appleton cop who shut down the lemonade stand run by a pair of 9 and 10 year old girls. The cop and police chief have since apologized indicating that they had misinterpreted a new ordinance enacted by the Appleton City Council.

So,

For providing his own competition to the lemonade stand by leaving a sour taste in all our mouths for free.

For proving that in Appleton, when life gives you lemons, you make...lemon bars, lemon nut biscotti or a nice lemon meringue pie, anything but lemonade because, if you do, you’re just asking for trouble.

For apparently thinking the intent of the Appleton City Council when they wrote the new ordinance was to crack down on greedy, opportunistic, money-grubbing 9 and 10 year old girls...which, now that I think about it, given the history of the Appleton City Council, really isn't that far-fetched.

We are proud to name the Appleton cop that shut down two little girls lemonade stand as this week's Rick and Len Show...Weenie of the Week.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

(BENNY) HILL STREET BLUES

Gee, whiz, all somebody did was take some video from a 4-year old attempted escape from the Albany (NY) County jail and set it to a well known song (and sped it up a little). And now, the folks who run the jail have their panties in a wad. See if you can figure out why they don't like it.

http://www.timesunion.com/news/article/Benny-Hill-behind-bars-1482617.php

JR BROW

There's high brow comedy. There's low brow comedy. And there's JR Brow comedy. JR returns to the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton and this Rick and Len Show this week.

He'll be with us in the studio at 8am to bring the funny.

And what better way to beat this week's heat than with some cool comedy and one of those big, fruity-ass umbrella drinks?

See JR Brow tonight, WAPL Night and get 2 for 1 admission. Click here to get your tickets on-line or call 920-734-JOKE (5653) to make your reservations old school.

And to find out what JR thinks of northern Wisconsin strip clubs, check out this clip.


http://youtu.be/YFw2McFNfUI

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

NFL: NATIONAL FOOTBALL LIMBO

STICKING POINTS THAT ARE HOLDING UP THE NFL'S COLLECTIVE BARGAINING AGREEMENT.

10. Teams want the establishment of lottery system to decide order in which players get to bang the next available Kardashian sister.

9. Players Association opposed to new "Three strikes and you're out rule" which would require Brett Favre to actually stay retired after third retirement.

8. Minnesota Vikings demanding to be allowed to change title of "Quarterback" to "Guy who hands ball to Adrian Petersen".

7. All players want cut of profits from new flavor of Gatorade made from Jay Cutler's and T.O.'s tears.

6. Packers demanding additional health care benefits to cover any hernias sustained lifting their hands while wearing those ginormous Super Bowl rings.

5. Teams demanding Player Association pay part of cost of psychiatric care for next owner crazy enough to sign Randy Moss.

4. After spending summer vacationing in France, Chad Ochocinco wants to be allowed to change name to Chad Quatre-Vingt-Cinq.

3. Super Bowl organizers must agree to replace crappy half-time show with something all fans will enjoy...like slowly feeding Cowboy's owner Jerry Jones into an enormous meat grinder.

2. Players want owners to install make-up mirrors in locker room to make it easier for their quarterback to apply his eyeliner. (Chicago Bears only)

1. Next season, Ben Rothlisberger is demanding to be allowed to rape TWO women!

I DON'T RECOGNIZE HIS FACE BUT HIS NECK SURE "RINGS" A BELL

Packer Sam Shields has used his lock-out downtime effectively. By getting a tattoo of his Super Bowl ring on his NECK! Wouldn't it be easier to just wear the ring?

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

WIN WIDESPREAD PANIC TIX!!!


Widespread Panic is doing three nights at the Riverside Theatre in Milwaukee Oct. 20-22 and it could be one of the last chances to see them live for quite some time. The band will be going on "indefinite hiatus" after the current tour.
Rick and Len will have chances to win tickets to each of the shows over the next couple of weeks.
To buy tickets (only $35.50 general admission), click here.

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, DON'T MAKE LEMONADE UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET SHUT DOWN BY THE APPLETON P.D.

OTHER THINGS APPLETON POLICE COULD BE DOING INSTEAD OF SHUTTING DOWN LITTLE GIRLS' LEMONADE STANDS. (Like they did this weekend!)

10. Bust kids who draw chalk hopscotch grids on sidewalk for illegal graffiti.

9. Keep an eye out for children singing, humming or whistling, making sure they’ve paid proper licensing fees for their performance of any copyrighted material.

8. Impose restraining order on children playing tag requiring them to stay at least 500 feet from kid who is "it".

7. Cite kids who don't wash hands immediately after picking their noses with municipal health code violations.

6. Bring assault with a deadly weapon charges against any children caught in the act of playing dodge ball.

5. Arrest kids playing cops and robbers for impersonating a police officer.

4. Call FBI to report four kids playing marbles for conspiracy to gamble.

3. Be on the look out for children who’ve violated city recycling statutes by using wastepaper to make airplanes.

2. Issue citations for practicing medicine without a license to any children found playing "doctor".

1. Charge children who step on cracks with assault for breaking their mothers' backs.

Monday, July 18, 2011

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 7.18.11

July 9th City of Wauwatosa
Police responded to a report that someone had rearranged the letters on the marquee at the Rosebud Cinema. The promotion for movie "Captain America" was changed to "Cap Anal Erica," which owners thought might be a threat to shoot a woman named Erica.

July 12th City of Clintonville
Police warned a man on 12th Street about operating his riding lawnmower on the sidewalk.

June 7th City of Green Bay
Officers responded to a report that three youths outside Southwest High School were tossing potatoes into traffic.

June 30th Village of Allouez
A 25-year-old man was cited for running nude in the area of Allouez and Webster Avenues. The man allegedly told officers he ran nude because he saw someone else do it so he thought it was OK.

July 1st City of Chilton
Police were called to a building on Memorial Drive at 2:51am where a shirtless man wearing shorts with stripes was doing push-ups in the parking lot.

July 2nd City of Glendale
A 30-year-old woman was arrested for drunken driving, driving after suspension and hit and run. The woman at 3am going 50 miles-per-hour in a 35 zone, driving without lights, with one shredded tire and a shattered windshield. The woman denied being in an accident but could not explain why she was covered in windshield glass.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

NOW THAT'S A MUG SHOT!

A 29-year-old Two Rivers man, Cory P. Smits, was found guilty last week in Manitowoc County Circuit Court of his fifth-offense operating while intoxicated.

Gee, drink and driving for the 5th time. Who'd expect this guy to make bad decisions?

Friday, July 15, 2011

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 7.15.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...Tyler Kosmoski, the owner of the Diamond Factory, a Ashwaubenon jewelry store, who allegedly took in customers items for cleaning or repair or to sell by consignment only to turn around and pawn the items before fleeing the area. Police say they have received at least 75 complaints concerning missing items valued at $100,000 and growing. Police finally tracked Kosmoski to the Wausau area after his vehicle was found stuck in a forest near Rib Mountain. He was arrested there Wednesday night after a foot chase.

So,

For at a time when a competitor "wants to be your jeweler" instead prefers to "want to be your felon".

For going from selling 14 karat gold bracelets, to himself, sporting a pair made from a far less precious metal.

For going from selling earrings to 'earing the words "you're under arrest".

And for allegedly committing acts that could result in him being sentenced to spending up to 10 years in a place where the only jewels he’ll be getting close to will be those of an overly affectionate cellmate.

We are proud to name runaway Ashwaubenon jeweler Tyler Kosmoski as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

LAST CHANCE TO GET YOUR HANDS ON SOME BALLS!

It's your last chance to get a ball (or balls) for the Great American Ball Drop. At the conclusion of the Rick and Len 2 Putz Golf classic tomorrow we'll drop golf balls from a helicopter. If the ball with your number on it comes closest to the target, you get $1000. Many other great prizes like iPods and stuff.

Get your ball(s) or more accurately, your ball number now by clicking here or stop at any area Community 1st Credit Union location. It's $10 for 1, $25 for 3 or $50 for 7!

All the proceeds benefit the Red Cross and stay right here in our area.

Don't wait! Your chance to win is running out! ORDER NOW!

ANDY WOODHULL THIS WEEK AT SKYLINE!

The VERY funny Andy Woodhull is appearing this week at Skyline Comedy Cafe. See him tonight, WAPL Night and get 2 for 1 admission. Click here to get your tickets on-line or call 920-734-JOKE (5653) to make your reservations old school.

And Andy will join us Friday morning at Mid Valley Golf Course to bring a little of the funny to the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf Classic!

Here he is in action!


http://youtu.be/2bCxRuZ8IVA

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

GILLIGAN'S ISLAND CREATOR DIES....AMAZING!

Sherwood Schwartz, the creator of Gilligan's Island, died this week. As you may or may not know, you can sing the lyrics to Amazing Grace to the tune of the Gilligan's Island theme. Try it yourself. What a fitting tribute!

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.
and Grace will lead me home.

Monday, July 11, 2011

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 7.11.11

July 3rd City of Manitowoc
A 21-year-old woman called to report that she bought a 20-pack of beer the previous evening and set it on the porch of her south-side home. When she went back to check, the beer was gone. On Sunday morning, the woman found the case had been returned with empty beer bottles and a thank you note scrawled on it. She told police she was upset and asked if a DNA test could be done to find out who drank her beer.


July 4th Town of Lamartine
A woman on Fairview Road called the Fond du Lac Sheriff's Department after she saw a 63-year-old man working outside his home naked. The woman said the man had no clothes on when he picked up a hose and put it back on a reel. A sheriff's deputy reported the man was cooperative when he was informed to either change his behavior or put up a high fence.

June 21st Village of Hilbert
A welfare check was requested at a Stephan Avenue residence where there was reportedly an open grill with flames shooting out in a front yard and young child was riding a bike around the grill without clothes on.

July 8th City of Wisconsin Rapids
An anonymous complaint was received by police regarding a couple in their 60s at the Wisconsin Rapids City Zoo drinking alcohol in front of the lemurs.

June 7th City of Green Bay
A 25-year-old man was cited for unlawful use of a telephone after threatening his girlfriend's assistant manager at a local restaurant. The man reportedly often calls the girlfriend at work and got upset when the assistant manager told him to stop calling and that his girlfriend was dead.

July 1st Village of Winneconne
Police cited a 22-year-old man for disorderly conduct after he spoke profanely to a Main Street convenience store clerk when she refused to sell him cigarettes because he could not produce an ID. When confronted the man admitted to speaking profanely. He told police he had gone to the store to purchase cigarettes for an intoxicated friend.

June 6th City of Green Bay
A 20-year-old Kastle Park employee was cited and fired after allegedly overcharging customers for mini golf and pocketing the extra cash.

June 15th Village of Sherwood
Police received a report from a Spring Hill Drive resident that someone was ringing doorbells and running off. Extra police patrol was provided.

Friday, July 8, 2011

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 7.8.11


http://youtu.be/hq1BmHXsaqM

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...

Marinette Mayor Robert Harbick, who was arrested last weekend for drunk driving after leaving a fast food restaurant parking lot and smashing into a light pole...at 3:45 p.m.! Police say his blood alcohol level measured more than point-two-four percent.

So, for running over a light pole assuring he was the only thing lit up on Marinette’s streets that afternoon.

For besmirching the image of lovely little Marinette so badly that you can actually hear them snickering over the border in Menominee.

For inadvertently changing Marinette's tourism slogan from "Your City By the Bay" to "Your Mayor Under the Influence".

And for cranking the Commodores on his car radio... "You’re once, twice, three times the limit."

We are proud to name Marinette Mayor Robert Harbick, accused of driving poop-faced drunk into a light post as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week!

Friday, July 1, 2011

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 7.1.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...well, first let me say this, earlier this week, we had the story of a man in Fond du Lac who had to be rescued by firefighters after he got his hand stuck while trying to retrieve a Snickers Bar from his car's gas tank. Afterward, we received a number of e-mails from listeners indicating that this poor guy should be Weenie of the Week. Really? You think he should be the Weenie? Wasn't he just doing what anyone else would do if they found someone had jammed a Snickers Bar into their gas tank? Seriously, what would you do in that situation? Leave it in there and see what kind of gas mileage it gets? So, I say "Nay!" This unfortunate Fond du Lacian is not the weenie. No! He is the victim! So, we would like to proudly name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...the jack wagon who jammed the Snickers Bar in this guy’s gas tank in the first place? Who does a thing like that?

So, for jamming something in a tight space where it doesn’t belong...an act they themselves could end up on the receiving end of should they be apprehended and sent to prison.

For apparently thinking the guys car was running like Betty White.

So, for seeming believing that there are now four grades of gasoline; regular, premium, unleaded and NOUGAT!

We are proud to name whomever stuck the Snickers Bar in the guy's gas tank in Fond du Lac (or as I like to call them, "The Bad Snicker Jammer of Fond du Lac County" ) as this week's Rick and Len Show...Weenie of the Week!

Thursday, June 30, 2011

JESSI CAMPBELL IS BACK!

Jessi is back at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton this week. And back on the Rick and Len Show. Hear her tomorrow at 8am. And see her Friday or Saturday night at 8 and 10:15 at the Skyline. It's a great way to top off a day in the sun!

Call and make your reservations at 920-734-JOKE or book on-line by clicking here.


http://youtu.be/q10xbe_X6vY

Friday, June 24, 2011

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 6.24.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Joseph Sloma of Denmark, a former charter boat captain, who this week was sentenced after having been found guilty of blowing up several other charter fishing boats in Kewaunee's Salmon Harbor Marina in 2009. The only reasons Sloma ever gave to investigators for his actions was the fact that he didn't like some of the charter boat captains who owned the boats and "peer pressure".

So,

For blowing up boats which is only acceptable behavior when it comes to inflatable dinghies.

For thinking he could destroy fishing boats and not be found gill-ty. (I am sooooo ASHAMED!)

For not understanding that if everybody in Wisconsin just blew up whatever they didn't like, Soldier Field would be nothing but a smoking crater and a pile of ash.

We are proud to name Joseph Sloma, the Brown County charter fishing boat captain who blew up his competition's boats as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

PAUL MORRISEY DROPS BY THE R&L SHOW FRIDAY MORNING

Fresh off multiple appearances on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, It's Paul Morrisey at the Skyline Comedy Cafe. Paul will stop by the Rick and Len Show at 8am Friday morning for fun and frivolity.

Get your tickets by calling 920-734-JOKE or by clicking right here!


http://youtu.be/cLRWc3HTfmI

JUST BECAUSE...

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

SCARIEST...WOOLITE....COMMERICAL...EVER!!!

Woolite and Rob Zombie (Yes, that Rob Zombie!) Two names that don't normally go together. But check out this new commercial Rob directed for them.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwviHqr20y4&feature=player_embedded

Monday, June 20, 2011

CLARENCE CLEMONS 1942-2011

We bid farewell today to The Big Man.
The yin to The Boss's yang.
Wailing on that saxophone
While Bruce played guitar and sang.

Handling that golden horn
With his enormous, but so agile hands
As Springsteen told the 10th Avenue tale
Of when the Big Man joined the band.

Clarence blew notes that sounded like release.
Like escaping from a place you didn't want to be.
They were the sound of hitting the road and going places.
The sound of leaving it all behind and being free.

Together he and Bruce took us places.
Down Thunder Road to Jungle Land
Reliving all their Glory Days
He was Born to Run with the rest of the E-Street band.

He was the last great sax man of the rock era
Which really is a bloody shame.
Then again, no one was ever going to do it better than him.
To even try would have been in vain.

So, farewell to New Jersey's "Minister of Soul".
He played with power, control and class.
And the only thing that blows harder
Is the fact that now he's passed.

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 6.20.11

June 1st City of Brown Deer
Police responded to an incident at Brown Deer Middle School where a girl left a classroom with a plastic bag holding a dead frog. Her teacher told her she could not take the frog and must return to class. The girl kept walking saying the frog was hers because she paid for it. An officer at the scene and told the girl if she left school she would be arrested. The girl left and was arrested.

June 15th City of Appleton
Police were called to the Taco Bell at the intersection of Richmond Street where a man suspected to be drunk was passed out behind the wheel of his running vehicle in the drive-through lane. When police finally got the man to wake up by knocking on his window, he turned up the volume on his car stereo and started bobbing his head to the music while ignoring officers. During the incident, the man repeatedly referred to a female officer as "baby" and "honey". When the officer asked the man to submit to field sobriety tests he replied, "C'mon, we're not all stupid here. Do you even need to do these on me? Serious. C'mon."

June 8th City of Oak Creek
A 48-year-old woman was arrested for drunken driving after she was seen getting out of her car and pooping in the bushes outside of Fleet Farm.

June 10th City of Wisconsin Rapids
Police received a report that a man on Pepper Avenue threw a chair in the garbage!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

R.I.P. BIG MAN

Clarence Clemons--the Big Man with the big horn-- died today of complications from a stroke he suffered last weekend, said Bruce Springsteen's spokeswoman. He was 69 years old.

Here's a clip of Clarence with the E-Street Band in London in 2009, playing Jungleland, which has the greatest sax solo in rock history, played the way only Clarence could play it.


http://youtu.be/-PTJHhUeAfc

Friday, June 17, 2011

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 6.17.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week...Jonathan and Jared Pippert, the 32 and 27-year-old Sheboygan brothers who live with their mother and were charged Monday with disorderly conduct for fighting over a bottle of shampoo.

So,

For letting a little shampoo get them worked into a lather.

For getting into a physical altercation that left them both black and Selsen blue.

And, for in a week with many solid Weenie candidates, engaging in behavior that put them Head and Shoulders above the rest.

We are proud to name Jonathan and Jared Pippert, the adult Sheboygan brothers who were arrested after getting in a fight over a bottle of shampoo as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIES OF THE WEEK!

THE RING!

Yesterday, the Packers finally got their SUper Bowl rings.

And here are some factoids about all the symbolism and what-have-you involved in the ring.

* The 'G' logo in the middle of the ring includes 13 diamonds, one for each of the Packers championships.
* Football-shaped diamonds dot the corner of the top of the rings, representing the 4 Super Bowl titles.
* A total of 92 diamonds surround the crest, representing the 92 years that the franchise has existed.
* On the inside of the ring, the scores of all the Packers playoff wins are included, as well as the logos of the opponents (congratulations, Eagles fans, you're on a Super Bowl ring!).
* Also on the inside is a '1' alongside the words "Mind, Goal, Purpose and Heart", a sort of mantra that the Packers used on their way to the title.
* One side features the Lombardi trophy and the player's name a number, with the number encircled as it was on the Packers throwback jerseys this year. On the other side is a rather exquisitely crafted likeness of Lambeau Field.

As for size and gaudiness, the ring checks in with 3.35 total carats of diamonds, falling just behind the 3.61 carats the Steelers crammed onto their rings for winning Super Bowl XLIII. Comparing it to other recent champions, the Saints got 2.2 carats on their XLIV rings, and the Giants, comparatively tasteful and restrained, went with 1.5 carats after XLII.

ROB RETURNS!

Rob Brackenridge returns to the Rick and Len Show this morning. Rob has performed for our troops in TEN different countries, bringing a little bit of Wisconsin all around the world. Perhaps even more impressive, Rob's been appearing on the Rick and Len Show since a time when all three of us had full heads of hair. Oh for cry aye aye!

See Rob this weekend at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton. Click here to get your tickets on-line or call 920-734-JOKE (5653) to make your reservations old school.

And check out this clip of Rob talking about his wiener!

LAST DAY FOR YOU TO WIN BIG ON THE RICK AND LEN BUDGET BATTLE!

This 24-inch tall plastic bank in the shape of Dr. Zais from the original Planet of the Apes movie is one of the five items that will be featured on today's edition of the Rick and Len Budget Battle. If you think you can guess what it costs, it could help you win some big monkey, I mean, money!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

GOLF BOYS - NEW PGA BOY BAND

The PGA's Ben Crane, Bubba Watson, Rickie Fowler and Hunter Mahan have teamed up to create the first all pro golfer boy band. It's called Oh, Oh, Oh. Buy it on iTunes. All proceeds go to charity.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PM2NocuEihw&feature=player_embedded#at=98

GET YOUR BALLS!

You can win ONE THOUSAND BUCKS in cash or one of the other great prizes by participating in the Great American Ball drop. Buy a ball (or several balls) today by clicking here or by visiting your nearby Community First location.

On July 15th, at the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf
Outing we'll be dropping up to 2,000 consecutively numbered golf balls from a helicopter at Mid Vallee Golf Course in DePere. If your ball lands closest to he pin you win!

Get your balls today!

All proceeds will benefit the American Red Cross.

This copy of the 1976 record album Ali and his Gang vs. Mr. Tooth Decay by Mohammad Ali, and featuring appearances by Frank Sinatra and Howard Cosell is one of the five items that will be featured on today's edition of the Rick and Len Budget Battle. If you think you can guess what it costs, it could help you win some big money!

(Note that the original 1976 price was $2.98. Has it gone up or down in value since? Hmmmm?)

Your chance to win comes this morning between 9 and 10am!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

NO SWEATY MEAT!!!


Foo Fighters have a new contract rider for their 2011 tour. It's hysterically funny and even includes a coloring book and activities pages to help promoters learn what makes up suitable food for a touring rock band. Portions of the rider are posted on The Smoking Gun Website. Check them out by clicking here and here.

BUDGET BATTLE ITEM OF THE DAY!

I know, pretty SWEET! This decorative schooner made of discarded aluminum Old Style cans is one of the five items that will be featured on today's edition of the Rick and Len Budget Battle. If you think you can guess what it costs, it could help you win some big money!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

QUE YOU!

From the makers of Pork Barrel BBQ sauce and rubs comes Que, the intriguing new fragrance that is an intoxicating bouquet of spices, smoke, meat, and sweet summer sweat.

Que is perfect for dad for Father's Day. Click here to order Que, An Eau de Barbecue for your dad or yourself! Who knows, with a fragrance like Que, dad might get...porked!

And look for all the Pork Barrel BBQ products at World Market by the Fox River Mall in Grand Chute!


http://youtu.be/aX8PSSdZoTs

Monday, June 13, 2011

HEY, LOOKY LOOKY! IT'S ONE OF THE ITEMS FOR TUESDAY'S RICK AND LEN BUDGET BATTLE!

It's a 1960's paper Pepsi "free-sample" cup (about 3 oz). If you can guess how much we found this for at a local antique mall, it may help you win big money on Tuesday's Rick and Len Budget Battle.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

ONE MORE WEEK FOR THE RICK AND LEN BUDGET BATTLE!

This is one of the items that you'll be trying to "price" for today's Rick and Len Budget Battle!

Friday, June 10, 2011

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 6.10.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenies of the Week...a group of anti-Walker protesters who, this Wednesday, crossed the line by disrupting a Special Olympics ceremony in Madison that the Governor was part of, while dressed as zombies to make the point that...well, who the hell knows what kind of point they were trying to make. They were dressed as zombies and disrupted a ceremony for Special Olympians!

So,

For dressing as zombies who are known to always be looking for "Brains, brains, BRAINS!" when admittedly, they clearly are in need some.

For acting like they are the walking dead when evidently, they're only really dead from the neck up.

And for showing that the only thing more horrific than their zombie make up...is their choice of time and place to protest.

We are proud to name the anti-Walker protesters who disrupted a Special Olympics ceremony this week in Madison as our Rick and Len Show...Weenies of the Week!

WORLD'S MOST PIERCED WOMAN GETS MARRIED!

LOOKS LIKE THE PERFECT COUPLE!


Thursday, June 9, 2011

ERIC O'SHEA BRINGS THE O'FUNNY TO THE O'SKYLINE COMEDY CAFE

Eric O'Shea will be in the studio with us tomorrow morning. He's in town for his first Skyline appearance in 15 years!

See him tonight, WAPL Night and get 2 for 1 admission.

You can make reservations by calling 920-734-JOKE or on-line. You should mention it's WAPL Night on the phone or enter WAPL where it says "coupon" on the check-out page when ordering tickets here at the new Skyline website.

Check out Eric's appearance at the Emmy Awards...


http://youtu.be/lVx_P1POXXI

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

STEEL YOURSELF THIS WEEKEND!


The annual Steel Bridge Song Festival brings more than 100 musical artists to Door County June 9 through the 12th. Bands fill the clubs in and around Sturgeon Bay at night Thursday and Friday as well as Saturday afternoon and evening. Sunday brings many of the Steel Bridge artists together for the "Construction Zone" concert in the parking lot of the Holiday Motel. For more info, go to http://www.sbsf5.com.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

WIENER OF THE WEEK!

Well, Congressman Anthony Wiener finally admitted the the crotch shot he sent to some woman on Twitter was, in fact, his. This after a week long "investigation" by Wiener to find out if the crotch in the picture was his. As suspicious as that sounds, you have to understand that it was very hard, er, difficult for him to recognize his junk without his testicles which were removed when he joined the Democratic party.

The whole story has made me realize that with all wieners looking like

WAYS TO MAKE YOUR WIENER EASIER FOR YOU TO IDENTIFY

10. Dress it up in a nice jaunty hat.

9. Paint it red and white to look more patriotic when paired with your blue balls.

8. Let your cats use it as a scratching post.

7. Get one of them big white birds like Beretta and let him perch on it.

6. Draw a face on it which will make it both easier to identify and put on delightful puppet shows.

5. Attach a white flag to it. This will not only make it easier for you to identify. It will also make you look French.

4. You can keep the purple helmet, but have the number 4 removed to clear up any confusion.

3. Hang a white cane and tin cup from it after putting a patch over it's one eye.
2. Tie a string around it which will also serve a subtle reminder to "Hey, don't take picture of this and Tweet it to impressionable girls".

1. Slather it in mustard and put it in a bun which while making it easier to identify will also make it riskier to attend baseball games and Ricky Martin barbecues.

Monday, June 6, 2011

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 6.6.11

May 30th city of Shawano
A man called police to report that his widowed step-mother stole a hummingbird feeder off of his father's grave.

May 19th City of Neenah
A complainant told police that a man and a woman were arguing in the parking lot of a restaurant on Green Bay Road and the woman set off a car alarm when she threw food at the man.

May 27th City of Wisconsin Rapids
An officer responded to a call from the emergency room at Riverview Hospital and arrested a female patient who was throwing pens.

May 26th Village of Bayside
A 57-year-old man was arrested for driving while impaired. The man failed field sobriety tests including reciting the alphabet by saying "A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L etcetera , etcetera, etcetera."

May 25th City of Brookfield
Police responded to a call from an employee at New Skin & Wellness where they had received a suspicious envelope. The envelope contained a picture of a bulldog and 10 photocopied pages from the book "The Sociopath Next Door."

May 28th City of Greenfield
A 47-year-old man was cited for disorderly conduct after he entered Organ Piper Pizza with canned beer he sneaked in, became drunk and soiled himself.

May 30th City of Stevens Point
A Heritage Drive resident called police to report someone put ketchup, syrup and noodles in their mailbox.

May 31st City of Brookfield
A 65-year-old man was cited for being in Wirth Park after park hours. Officers found a photograph of a penis in his car. He told them he was in the park to dispose of a liquor bottle.

May 28th Town of Grand Rapids
A Springwood Court woman called police and reported someone threw a burning bag containing a dead fish on her steps.

May 31st Town of Sigel
A Town Hall Road man reported some children left a dead turkey in a box in his driveway.

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 6.3.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Tina Jacobson, the Neenah woman accused of embezzling AT LEAST $470,000 over about 5 years from the non-profit Community Blood Center which provides blood to 18 hospitals in Wisconsin and the U.P..

So,

For apparently making more money off of blood than anyone has since the manufacturers of Kotex.

For allegedly committing an act that proves you don't need to be a vampire to be a blood sucker.

And for allegedly stealing from a non-profit organization...an act...

Lower than the ratings of Paris Hilton's new TV Show!

Lower than Rick's ranking on Hot or Not.com!

Lower than Larry King's balls!!!

We are proud to name Tina Jacobson as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

Friday, June 3, 2011

THE BIG FLING-SUNDAY IN APPLETON!

Don't miss The Big Fling this Sunday at Telulah Park in Appleton! The Big Fling is a disc golf competition and fundraiser for the Fox Cities Sibling Support Network. The Big Fling is bigger and better than ever in 2011 with the addition of BIG yard games to the disc golf fun for a family-friendly day at the park. For more info on The Big Fling, click here!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

FRIDAY NIGHT IN SHEBOYGAN WITH CHRIS


Legendary Fox Valley guitarist Chris Aaron's yearly return to Wisconsin starts this Friday night (6/3) at The Cove in Sheboygan. It's going to be off the hook as Chris is joined by Wisconsin blues legend Jim Schwall (Siegel-Schwall Blues Band).
NO COVER CHARGE!!!
WAPL's Len Nelson emcees the show, which also features a wicked stringer named Noah "Kid Fantastic" Engh, bass master Tony Menzer and drummer Jeff Cohen.
Showtime is around 9:30. The Cove is at 1235 Indiana Ave. in Sheboygan.
For additional Chris Aaron dates, go to www.chrisaaron.com.

DOUG MELLARD AT SKYLINE, ON RICK AND LEN SHOW, YOU KNOW THE DRILL!

Would it kill you to go see Doug Mellard this week at the Skyline Cafe? I suppose there's always a chance but you won't know until you go. And who wants to live with that hanging over their heads?

And you think you've had some bad Valentine's Days? We'll see if Doug can bring himself to tell us about his worst. Trust me. Doug's story is pretty good (unless it happened to you, then it's pretty bad!)

TONIGHT is WAPL Night at Skyline with 2 for 1 admission to see Doug Mellard. You can make reservations by calling 920-734-JOKE or on-line. To get the 2 for 1 deal, you should mention it's WAPL Night on the phone or enter WAPL where it says "coupon" on the check-out page when ordering tickets here at the new Skyline website.

Or check out Doug Mellard Friday or Saturday night. It's still pretty damn cheap and he's pretty damn funny.


http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/IfIShouldDie

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

THOR LOSERS!

A new paper by Brown University Department of History researchers attempts to explain why The Viking's disappeared. They claim it was a result of climate change. We have our own ideas...ten to be exact.

THE TOP TEN REASONS THE VIKINGS DISAPPEARED

10. Tribal council failed to approve bonding referendum to build them a new coliseum even after the old one was damaged by heavy snow as a punishment from the gods.

9. One of their elders was accused of sending etchings of his horn to unknowing maiden.

8. Many lost interest in raping and plundering after no longer being allowed to bring in out-of-state talent for their debauched longboat parties.

7. Incompetent guidance from their leader Brad the Bald.

6. Despite coming close on several occasions, could never pillage the big one.

5. Under-utilized their greatest warrior Adrian the Fast while relying too heavily on aging Brett Graybeard.

4. Left longtime ice covered homeland for warmer Valhalla like land called Los Angeles.

3. Spent too much time sacking port cities of the North Atlantic instead of opposing quarterbacks.

2. Same reason all the other barbarian tribes vanished...couldn’t reach Collective Pillaging Agreement.

1. Could no longer stand being viciously plundered twice a year by superior tribe just 275 miles to their east.

GOLF AUCTION TODAY!!! DO IT FOR MAX!


You have only until 9:50 am today (Wednesday) to make a bid on a foursome at the Fore the Kids golf outing for the Max McGee Juvenile Diabetes Foundation at Childrens Hospital of Wisconsin.
You'll get 18 holes with cart for four golfers at High Cliff Golf Course, dinner, prizes and beer!
The event is Thursday, June 9th with a 10 am shotgun start.
To place a bid, call the Rick and Len Show at 271-7625 from Green Bay, 281-7625 from the Fox Cities, or toll free 877-453-7625 from anywhere else.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 5.31.11

May 24th Shawano County
The Shawano County Sheriff’s Department responded to a report from the Waupaca County Sheriff's Office about a Clintonville man who they say keeps calling their office to ask them to do something about his daughter-in-law who he claims abandoned her pot-bellied pig. Shawano County Deputies were dispatched to the man’s home to tell him to stop calling.

May 10th City of Chilton
Police assistance was requested by an elderly woman being harassed by a muskrat.

May 20th City of Beaver Dam
Police received a report from an employee of Kritter Kuts Beauty Shop that there was a man sleeping in their flower bed.

May 10th City of Neenah
A 52-year-old East Wisconsin Avenue woman told police that while on her walk, a man riding a bicycle passed her three or four times and at one point yelled out "vulgar compliments".

May 22nd City of Oshkosh
A 67-year-old woman on Mason Street was arrested for domestic disorderly conduct and battery after she allegedly hit her husband in the knee with a club and may have wrapped a cord around his neck. According to police, the two were having an argument over a television show.

May 22nd City of Menasha
Police were called to a Ahnaip Street residence where a woman reported that her neighbor has just mowed their lawn and some of the grass clipping landed on her side of the property line. The responding officer instructed the offender to pick up the clippings from her neighbor's yard.

May 20th City of Beaver Dam
Employees at ShopKo called police to report that a man came into the store and was yelling at employees. He told the employees he was going to "karate chop" a psychiatrist before leaving in a silver SUV with Florida license plates.

May 21st City of Beaver Dam
Police received an anonymous report that there were girls in bikinis who were walking up and down the street near the intersection of Madison and Curie streets. The man was told that walking in bikinis is not illegal.