Friday, April 30, 2010


We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...Platteville Police Officer Michelle Salentine who this week was charged with...maintaining a crack house. According to the police report, Salentine also regularly smoked crack including times when she was on duty, in uniform and carrying a firearm. Salentine has admitted to authorities that she's been smoking crack 4 to 6 times a week for about a year.


For being both a cop and a crack user...which sounds to me like she's just trying to double her chances of meeting Bobby Brown.

For exercising the worst judgment this state has seen since the Packers gave Mike Sherman a contract extension.

For not heeding the words of Confucius who once said, "Police officer who smoke crack see career go up in smoke".

And for not understanding that you become a cop to crack heads not to BE a crack head!

We are proud to name Michelle Salentine, the crack smoking cop of Platteville as this week's Rick and Len...Weenie of the Week!

Thursday, April 29, 2010


Last Comic Standing's Chris Porter will be at the Skyline Comedy Club in Appleton this week. As you might expect, he'll join us in the studio for the Rick and Len Show Friday morning about 8am.

How can you not make reservations to see him Friday or Saturday nights? Call 920-734-JOKE.

To get you in the mood, check out this clip that has language that is not safe for work and subject matter that may not be safe for your red hat ladies club.


Well, today is a big day. Not only was it the on this day that Adolph Hitler married Eva Braun (and if those two wacky kids can't make it work, then who can?). It 's also the 25th anniversary of Len's and my first day on WAPL. Thanks for joining us for all or part of this crazy ride. It's been nothing if not an educational experience for me.



I have learned that you can't judge a book by it's cover, but if you flip through it and see a lot of 4 letter words, it's probably a lot more interesting than anything you'll ever read the Post Crescent.

I have learned that while nature abhors a vacuum, it must really despise Chicago since even after all these years...the Bears still SUCK.

I have learned that even if you hold an elaborate funeral, just because someone is "dead to you" doesn't mean the purple bastard isn't going to beat your team like a rented mule.

I have learned that you can fool some of the people all of time and all of the people some of time...which is why we have Tom Mahoney doing our weather forecasts.

I have learned that while you don't have to be crazy to work does however, seem to be a prerequisite for living in Sheboygan County.

I have learned that you can take the boy out of Menasha, but I'm probably still going to smell like this for the rest of my life.

I have learned that working diligently is all well and good, but you can get a much bigger raise by getting fired and then sitting on your ass for 17 months.

I have learned that no matter how many times she asks...DO NOT PULL JEANNE'S FINGER!

And I have learned that while you can't get blood out of a rock...I still bet it would soak up liquid better than a frickin' Sham-wow.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010


Thursday morning, in the 9am hour, Jason Buss from the Wildwood Film Festival will join us in the studio to tell us about this year's event. The festival will be held this Friday and Saturday at UW-Fox Valley in the Town of Menasha. There will be four sessions, each with a different selection of short films (all of which have some connection to Wisconsin, many filmed right here in our area!). Check out these trailers for each of the four sessions.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


The Huffington Post has a great round-up of wonderful books that are, you know, for kids! Here are some of my faves!


Tune into the Rick and Len Show this week for your chance to win a Remote Control Beer Cooler. Here's some video of the RC Beer Cooler in action!

Monday, April 26, 2010


April 8th City of Neenah
Police cited a man at a store on Green Bay Road where he was caught attempting to shoplift K-Y personal lubricants and a wooden pop gun.

April 6th City of Menasha
A woman called police to tell them she believed the marijuana she was smoking was possibly laced with another drug.

April 10th City of Wauwatosa
A 41-year-old man was charged with shoplifting at Walgreens after he caught trying to leave the store with 18 containers of deodorant in his pockets.

April 13th Village of Allouez
Police found a man laying on the ground near the intersection of South Webster and Kalb. The man told officers he was just laying there waiting for a bus.

April 14 City of Waupun
Police received a report of a muskrat that had climbed up into the fender of the caller’s car. Police advised the caller to just leave the muskrat alone and it would eventually crawl away.

April 19th City of Portage
A 55-year-old man was arrested on a violation of the no-drink requirement of his probation after a witness saw him stumbling while walking on a sidewalk, then stopping, squatting and defecating onto a lawn.

Friday, April 23, 2010

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...41-year-old Paula Wolf of Plover who was arrested Wednesday after she reportedly went on a "blow dart spree" in Stevens Point. According to reports, Wolf was driving around Stevens Point in a black minivan, using a blow gun to shoot at least 4 random pedestrians with blow darts. It is believe Wolf also shot at least one other pedestrian with a blow dart about a week earlier. Wolf, who also had a sling shot and a bucket of rocks in her van, told officers she did it because "she liked to hear people say 'ouch'".


For obviously being a person who is so full of hot air and who is entertained by the suffering of others that she should be prosecuted for impersonating Rush Limbaugh.

For driving around with a bucket of rocks when she, herself, is clearly a box of rocks.

And for not realizing there are much better ways to spend your time...especially if you're a woman not adverse to wrapping your lips around a cylindrically shaped object to blow.

We are proud to name amateur blow gun aficionado Paula Wolf of Plover as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.

Thursday, April 22, 2010


DAMN I'M EXCITED! Two comics whose work I absolutely LOVE will make their first appearances on the Rick and Len Show Friday morning at 8:00. Anthony Jeselnik and Amy Schumer who are both appearing this weekend at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton will be in the studio.

Anthony (who I like to describe as a cross between Steven Wright and a very, very bad person) is one of Comedy Central's eight "Breakout Comics of 2009" and has appeared on Conan and Kimmel.

Amy kicked ass on NBC's Last Comic Standing two years ago. She lost. But she kicked ass!!!

Any other weekend and any other comedy club they would each by headlining their own shows. But this isn't any other weekend and Skyline isn't any other comedy club. Make your reservations to see them tonight (8-22) at 8 or Friday or Saturday nights at 8 or 10:15.
Amy Schumer - Blackout Drunk
Futurama New EpisodesFunny Demon Zombie TV ShowFunny TV Comedy Blog

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


So, this past weekend, I went to see the movie Kick Ass. As I was leaving the theater, I made a stop in the restroom. I entered the stall to do my business and the guy in the next stall was barking out orders. "Hurry up!" "Come on!" "Let's go!" "GET OUT!!!!" At first I thought he was yelling at me. After a few moments, I realized his instructions were directed at someone (or something) in his own stall. Did he have small child he was trying to get to finish? Did he have a sex partner...whom he was trying to get to finish? After sneaking a clandestine peek under the stall and seeing only one pair of feet, it dawned on me. He was talking to to his ass!

It's been a few years since I've had an uncomfortable situation with someone carrying on a conversation in the adjoining stall in a public restroom. At that time, I wrote about my experience for the publication The Scene. For those of you who missed it, here it is.


There's an old saying that goes, "Manners are for the poor and plain. The rich and beautiful can do as they like."

Having neither Ross Perot's money nor George Clooney's looks (or vice-versa, for that matter), I have always felt compelled to try to observe proper etiquette. However, I recently found myself in a situation so perplexing it would have had Miss Manners turning over in her grave if, sadly, she weren't still alive.

Before I get to the story of my protocol predicament, I need to tell you some pertinent information about myself.

For the last dozen years or so I've suffered from an unusual medical condition for which, as far as I know, there is no cure. While this infirmity is enduring, it is not terminal. And while it causes me some inconvenience, it thankfully causes me no pain. And what is the nature of this medical malady? Well, whenever I'm in a library or bookstore, within 10 minutes, without fail, I have an urgent need to use the restroom!

Proper decorum prevents me from being too graphic about which bodily function is triggered by the proximity of a large number of books. Suffice to say, being surrounded by thousands of volumes that are tightly bound causes me to become loosely bound, if you catch my drift (and if you were in the adjoining stall, you almost certainly would).

I don't know if this condition has an official medical name, since I have never consulted a professional. Who would I see, a gastroenterologist, a proctologist, or a librarian? However, I've come to refer to my ailment as chronic “biblio-rhea". I think the Latin term is Ex-lax Ex Libre.

Now that you know my dirty little secret, I can get back to my question of etiquette.

A few weeks ago, I was perusing periodicals at Barnes and Noble in Appleton. (Actually, it's in Grand Chute, in the same plaza as The Dress Barn. What next, The Panty Silo? But I digress...) Predictably, after about five minutes, the biblio-rhea kicked in.

I made my way to the men's room, found an empty stall and put it to its intended use. A few moments later, I heard the restroom door open and another person enter. He went to the second stall and began doing the same thing I was doing, only much more loudly. Suddenly, amid the grunts and splashes emitted by my noisy neighbor, there came another sound, cutting through the air like a knife. It was the ringing of his cell phone!

My comrade of the commode turned out to be the type who speaks into a phone so loudly his caller would have heard him just a well using two Dixie cups and 10 miles of string. As a result, I couldn't help but eavesdrop as he answered, "Oh, hi! I'm at Barnes and Noble. I’m sitting in the café having a latte!"

Sitting in the café having a latte? I’ve heard a lot of euphemisms for what he was doing in the next stall. Copping a squat. Pinching a loaf. Dropping the kids off at the pool. But I’ve never heard it referred to as "sitting in the café having a latte."

Ok. He was just too embarrassed to admit what he was really doing (but apparently not so embarrassed that he didn't just leave the phone in his pocket and down around his ankles). Far be it from me to begrudge this guy his little white lie. But he unknowingly put me in a tough spot.

You see, I had just finished my "paperwork" and was ready to move on. This left me faced with an etiquette question worthy of Emily Post (or more appropriately, Emily Com-Post). What do you do when you are finished using the toilet but the person in the next stall is still in the middle of a phone call?

I seriously doubt this thought ever even entered Miss Post's proper little head...or Alexander Graham Bell's for that matter. In the days before cordless phones and cell phones, about the only place you could carry on a phone conversation while using the toilet was in an expensive hotel. (Remember what I said about manners and the rich!) But in today's world, talking on the toidy isn't even considered rude. It's just "multi-tasking".

So what could I do? As I saw it, I had three options, none of them ideal.

1) I could continue to sit in my stall, unintentionally listening in on his private conversation. This certainly didn't seem like proper etiquette. 2) I could quietly skulk out of the stall without flushing, leaving a couple of "kids in the pool" for the next user to deal with. I was certain this was not the well-mannered thing to do, Or 3) I could flush, the sound of which would most assuredly make the person on the other end of the phone realize that his friend was not really "sitting in the café having a latte" but rather squatting in the bathroom brewing up his own pot of "crap-puccino." This option seemed not only impolite but downright mean.

But what could I do? When faced with three options, none of which are viable, you have to learn to improvise. And that's just what I did!

I stood up. Pulled up my pants. Zipped my zipper. Buckled my buckle. And flushed the flusher! Loudly and proudly, over the "whoooosh" of the swirling toilet water vortex, I yelled "Sorry our espresso machine is so loud!"

It not only seemed like good etiquette. It was the least I could do for a fellow biblio-rhea sufferer!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


Today is, of course, 4-20 and school officials in some parts of the country have warned their teachers to not eat any brownies or cookies offered to them by students today. As a public service of the Rick and Len Show, we've put together these warning signs that...


If every time the student makes something for your school bake sale, it's bought by Willie Nelson...there might be pot in those brownies.

If after eating one, your mouth is so dry your tongue has grown a cactus...there might be pot in those brownies.

If Betty Crocker on the box of mix they used can't stop giggling...there might be pot in those brownies.

If you actually think you saw Betty Crocker on the box of mix they used giggling...there might be pot in those brownies.

If Bill Clinton claims he chewed them but he didn't swallow...there might be pot in those brownies.

If every time the student finishes mixing up a batch, Snoop Dogg stops by to lick the spoon and bowl...there might be pot in those brownies.

If after just a couple bites, the whites of your eyes are so red old ladies mistaking them for hats gather around them and hold a meeting...there might be pot in those brownies.

If anything on this list made you laugh...there was definitely pot in those brownies!

Monday, April 19, 2010


What do you think is THE BEST F$#%ING SONG OF ALL TIME?

Every weekday morning at about 9 (until the end of May) we'll select one entry and play that day's BEST F$#%ING SONG OF ALL TIME!

If we select your entry, we'll put you in a drawing to win an iPod Touch!!!

Enter now by clicking on the BEST F$#%ING SONG OF ALL TIME icon!

And make sure you tell us WHY you think your selection is THE BEST F$#%ING SONG OF ALL TIME!!!


Join us all this week on the Rick and Len Show for your chance to win tickets to see Larry the Cable Guy for an evening of sleeveless, bare-armed, blue collared, redneck comedy May 16th at the Weidner Center in Green Bay.


According to ABC, "Ladies Love Larry King" Yes, THAT Larry King!. Why? In spite of the fact the the only acceptable response to that question is "Beats the hell out of me!", we've still managed to come up with 10 reasons.


10. Dust is a powerful aphrodisiac.

9. Those lumpy adult diapers make it look like he’s really packing.

8. Used to love watching him host HBO's Tales from the Crypt.

7. All a woman has to do to have sex with him is get on top and let his Craftmatic Adjustable bed do all the work.

6. They find it adorable how at the point of climax he always yells "23 skidoo".

5. When he walks around the bedroom naked, they're turned on by the sound of his balls dragging across the floor.

4. Having sex with him is almost like having a threesome since the grim specter of death is always looking over his shoulder wherever he goes.

3. The friction from wearing those suspenders all day keeps his nips rock hard.

2. Couldn’t think of a number 2. I was too busy vomiting at the thought of women finding Larry King sexy. (and his rock hard nips!)

1. Woman apparently love a man with a large throbbing organ...even if the large throbbing organ is his prostate.


April 1st City of Chilton
Police received a report that someone on Breed Street threw a Christmas tree into a dog pen.

March 30th City of Neenah
A complainant reported seeing a 4-foot, solid brown object floating in the water about 300 yards from Kimberly Point Park. An officer, using binoculars, identified the object was a Christmas tree.

April 3rd Village of Stockbridge
A Mary Street resident contacted police to report someone put a skunk in her son's car.

April 2nd Calumet County
An older, rusty, Dodge conversion van with two male occupants was going to residents' homes on High Cliff Road and asking to see resident's vacuum cleaners. They also offered to vacuum their carpet. One of the male subjects was wearing a woman's tank top. The reporting party called back later to state that he had done some more checking and found out that the men were...Kirby vacuum cleaner salesmen.

April 12th City of Beaver Dam
Police received an anonymous report of outbursts of laughter on Front Street.

April 15th City of Oshkosh
Police received a call from a UW-O biology major who found what looked like a big raccoon in her garage. On closer inspection the biology student realized it was actually a full grown hen turkey that had bedded down under the front tires of her car. Three officers were dispatched to the residence where one used a garbage can, a lamp shade and clucking sounds to coax the turkey out of the garage.

Saturday, April 17, 2010


An Oregon entertainment magazine, The Portland Mercury, polled their readers to find out what they would most like to see on their cover. Naturally (and wisely) their readers voted to have a likeness of Betty White in a metal bikini wielding a flaming chainsaw while riding a John Ritter centaur. Here it is for your viewing enjoyment.

You're welcome!

Friday, April 16, 2010


We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...the 30-year-old man who was arrested Sunday morning in the Town of Menasha after punching and kicking another man during an Christ the Rock Community Church. The man allegedly also broke a pew and punched a sheriff's deputy.


For ignoring the little known 11th commandment: "Whilst in a place of worship, thou shalt not be a douche-bag".

For not realizing that it's not permissible to commit a crime in a church...unless you're wearing a white collar.

And for not understanding that while it's called Christ "The Rock", it doesn't mean the church is suitable for WWE Wrestling. (Do you suppose, after he hit and kicked the guy, he yelled out, "Can you smell what Christ the Rock is cookin'?" Then again, if they don't want wrestling on their property, maybe they should call it Christ the Dwayne Johnson Community Church. I'm just saying!)

We are proud to name the guy who was arrested for fighting Sunday morning in Christ the Rock Community Church in the Town of Menasha as this week's Rick and Len...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!


One of our faves, Bil Dwyer returns to the Rick and Len Show Friday morning.

Hear Bil in the 8am hour. See him this weekend at the Skyline Comedy Cafe (920-734-JOKE). Take a look at his very funny golf website The Range Show with Bil Dwyer. And check out this clip below. (Boy, I sure am bossy today!)
Bill Dwyer - Sex Life
Futurama New EpisodesFunny Demon Zombie TV ShowFunny TV Comedy Blog

Wednesday, April 14, 2010


The Packers in conjunction with St, Norbert's have created the Vincent Award, a medallion that bears the likeness of Vince Lombardi as if he were a victorious, laurel-crowned hero in Roman times. The medals will be awarded to a few folks at the upcoming national Sport and Society conference to be held at St. Norb's the end of May. The back of the medallion bears the Latin inscription "Quod nefas ibi accidit" meaning "What the hell's going on out here?" Seriously!

We, at the Rick and Len Show think there are other former members of the Packer family who deserve their own medallions with Latin inscriptions. Here's what they would say.

Mike Sherman: Operor illa pardus planto meus puga pyga vultus pinguis? Translation: Do these pants make my ass look fat?

Ray Rhodes: Operor vos have ullus candied? Translation: Got any gum?

Brett Favre: Ego mos permissum vos teneo quis is should narro in semestris. Translation: I will let you know what it should say in six months. (its the only coin that when flipped always lands on it's side!)

Ray Nitschke: Dictis eram a cattus. Translation: Butkis is a pussy.

Najeh Davenport: Ego loco a donum in vestri immunda vestitus alveus Translation: I left you a gift in your laundry hamper.

Tony Mandrich: Illud es non erigo. Illud es meus testis. Translation: These are not raisins. These are my testicles.

Marc Chmura: Vetus satis minuo vetus satis ut semino. Translation: Old enough to bleed old enough to breed!


I'm sick of this controversy concerning Tiger Woods being caught swearing during The Masters. He dropped a g-damn and a Jeesy Creesy and from sportscaster Jim Nantz's reaction you'd have thought he butchered and ate a live baby on 18th green. Come on. It's golf! You're trying to hit a dimpled ball with an oddly shaped club into a hole a fraction of the size of the one between the Octomom's legs and you're supposed to do that with a vocabulary less colorful than that of the Vice President of the United States. F.U. Jim Nantz!

To me, golf without swearing is like...

...Baseball without spitting.

...Football without ass slapping.

...Basketball without fathering illegitimate children!

Golf without swearing is like...

...Politics without bickering.

...Eating with swallowing.

Dating Tiger....without swallowing!

Golf without swearing is like...

...Rosie O'Donnell without flannel.

...Lindsey Lohan without crabs.

...Bombshell McGee without enough red ink to be an accountant at Mercury Marine!

Golf without swearing is like...

...Willie Nelson's tour bus without more smoke than a forest fire.

...Whitney Houston without more crack than the Liberty Bell.

...Amy Winehouse's arm without more tracks than the Soo Line!

Golf without swearing is like...

...A Star Trek convention without virgins.

...The set of The View without a jumbo sized bottle of Midol.

...The Fox 11 cloak room without an extra-large hat rack!

Golf without swearing is like...

...A Toyota driver's underwear without skid marks.

...Like John Gosselin without either vinegar or water.

...The bride at a Menasha wedding without flies!

In fact, golf without swearing is like...

My wiener without dust!!!



Police in Fairfax County, Virginia have charged two people with running an unlicensed dental practice after a patient who developed an infection reported them. Police say that a woman who developed an infection after one of the men performed a root canal led officers to his "office". There police found a door leading to a basement "office" hidden behind a refrigerator!

Gee, too bad there weren't any red flags that these guys weren't on the up-and-up. To prevent this from happening to you, we at the Rick and Len Show have created this list of signs that your dentist might not be licensed!

If the needle he sticks in your mouth came right out of Courtney Love's left arm...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If you tell him you have pyorrhea and he recommends Imodium A-D...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If the tool he uses to poke at your circumcised...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If you ask him for gas and he points his butt in your face and tells you to pull his finger...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If instead of using a sedative to put you to sleep, he just flips on the FOX 11 news...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If, for reasons known only to him, whenever he sticks his fingers in your mouth they taste like cabbage...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If the diploma hanging on his wall has Sally Struthers' name spelled wrong...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If he charged you $2,000 for a crown and it turned out to be one of those paper one's from Burger King...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If after he gives you gas, you still feel pain but you speak in a high, funny voice for about 30 seconds…he might not be a licensed dentist.

If the whitening solution he's using on your teeth is coming right out of a bottle marked Liquid Paper...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If the string he's flossing your teeth with is still attached to the tampon...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If, while you're in the chair, he climbs up on your chest just to take a leak in the spit sink...he might not be a licensed dentist.

If not only does he blindfold you during your procedure, he does so with the panties he just told you to remove...he might not be a licensed dentist.

And if the door to his basement office is hidden behind a refrigerator...he's definitely not a licensed dentist!


Great photo from the Post Crescent of Len blowing the roof off the dump at Monday night's WAMI (Wisconsin Area Music Industry) Awards at the the Fox Cities Performing Art Center.

Appleton native Corey Chisel won Artist, Song and Album of the Year. And WAPL won Radio Station of the Year. Yay us!!!

For a complete list of winners, click here!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010


It's spring when a young man's (and in many cases, a young woman's) fancy turns Our old friend Bil Dwyer has a a very funny web site called The Range that is filled with great tips on things like "Dog Putting" and golfing with bowling balls!

The Range: Bowling vs. Golf from Drinks at Six on Vimeo.

The Range: Dog Putting from Drinks at Six on Vimeo.

See Bil in person this week (Wednesday through Saturday) at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton. Make your reservations by calling 920-734-JOKE.


If you've been enjoying the live sturgeon porn from the Wolf River, look for the following sturgeon porn DVD's at an adult book store or bait shop near you!

Gill-ty of Love

Wages of Fin

Giver in the River

Spawn of the Dead

Bottom-Feeding Bitches

Smells Like Fish

Beluga Boogaloo

Surgin' Sturgeon

Love on the Rocks

Ridgeback River Sluts

Rockin' in Shicoton

Slick Males with Scales and Tails


The sturgeon are humping! The sturgeon are humping!

Check out the live sturgeon porn from the Wolf River at
Live streaming video by Ustream

Monday, April 12, 2010


What do you think is THE BEST F$#%ING SONG OF ALL TIME?

Starting next Monday (4-19), every weekday morning at about 9 (until the end of May) we'll select one entry and play that day's BEST F$#%ING SONG OF ALL TIME!

If we select your entry, we'll put you in a drawing to win an iPod Touch!!!

Enter now by clicking on the BEST F$#%ING SONG OF ALL TIME icon!

And just for fun, tell us WHY you think your selection is THE BEST F$#%ING SONG OF ALL TIME!!!


March 26th Village of Bellevue
A 25-year-old man at Wal-Mart was caught stealing Trojan condoms… and a pregnancy test kit.

March 22nd Village of Stockbridge
A West Lake Street resident called police to report someone tossed a decorative light and a trash barrel into his yard…and he believes he knows who did it!

April 3rd City of Portage
Police investigated a small fire at the Market Basket. A 14-year-old boy was referred to juvenile authorities for arson after he told police he accidently set fire to plastic beverage bottles after trying to melt the labels with a lighter inside the store. Employees and a customer put out the fire with cups of water.

April 5th City of Beaver Dam
Police responded to a home on South Lincoln Street where a 20-year-old woman reported that a 20-year-old man was ringing the doorbell and would not leave. Police found out that the man was attempting to drop off an Easter basket.

March 23rd City of Appleton
Police received a call from a Strawflower Drive resident who reported that two persons were threatening to throw tacos at the reporting party's house. They said this is an ongoing problem.

Saturday, April 10, 2010


Last summer I spent some time in Chicago. While I was there, I visited the the new Modern Wing of the Art Institute. In addition to the paintings and sculptures, the Modern Wing also has installations by "video artists". One of them is by an artist named Bruce Nauman and is called Clown Torture. This is just part of it.

I post this one for one reason only. As an answer to people who ask me, "What goes on it that head of yours?" Finally, I have answer. This is EXACTLY what is going on inside my head 24/7!!!


Friday, April 9, 2010


We are proud to name as this week’s Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...the manager of the National Exchange Bank & Trust in Elkhart Lake. The manager reportedly arrived at work shortly after the bank opened last Thursday while a robbery was in progress but didn't notice anything unusual and went right to her office. While she was sitting at her desk, the gun wielding robber was locking all the tellers in the vault. She was reportedly still sitting at her desk when the robber walked out the north door of the bank with between 10 and 100 thousand dollars.


For not paying attention while somebody just walks off with customer's hard earned money...which I thought was the Federal Government's job.

For proving that ignorance isn't just's apparently also a management position.

And for being even less aware of what's going on around her than Helen Keller in oven mitts.

We are proud to name the manager of the National Exchange Bank & Trust in Elkhart Lake as this week’s Rick and Len...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

Thursday, April 8, 2010


He's done time and now he's doing the Rick and Len Show. This poor bastard can't catch a break!

Dave Mordal (my personal fave from the 1st & 3rd seasons of NBC's Last Comic Standing) will join us in the studio Friday morning. See Dave at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton. Dave's even recording his new CD during his shows this week at the Skyline!

Tonight (4.8) is WAPL night. Mention that when you make your reservation at 920-734-JOKE and get 2 for 1 admission to see the host of the Discovery Channel's Wreckreation Nation and the funniest man to ever come out of Elk River, Minnesota: Dave Mordal.


Near tragedy preceded opening day at Miller Park on Monday. During the annual Sausage Relay, the Italian Sausage was run over by his police escort. The sausage is okay. However, what does it say about your Major League Baseball team when it seems the only time they make national headlines is when something bad happens to one of it's sausage mascots? And why do the bad things only seem to happen to the Italian Sausage? And I wonder if former Pittsburgh Pirate Randall Simon has an alibi for the time of the accident.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


Brett Favre's daughter is due to give birth any day now. According to one Minnesota newspaper, if Brett comes back this season, it will make him the NFL's first ever active player-grandfather. We thought this would be an excellent time to revisit the signs...


If when you were in high school, not only were the referees' uniforms black and white so was your senior might be too old to be playing pro football.

If the helmet you wore in your first game was as leathery as the skin on your face is might be too old to be playing pro football.

If your touchdown celebration is restricted to having a nice cup of warm might be too old to be playing pro football.

If you need to take two Viagra just to give someone a stiff might be too old to be playing pro football.

If your idea of "out of bounds" is all the jokes your teammates make about your bald might be too old to be playing pro football.

If you can remember when the nickel defense was just a might be too old to be playing pro football.

If your excuse for not being able to read a defense is "these damn bifocals" might be too old to be playing pro football.

If you celebrate a big victory by sneaking up behind your coach and dumping a bucket of Metamucil over his might be too old to be playing pro football.

If "the long snapper" is the name by which you refer to your might be too old to be playing pro football.

If you think "roid rage" is getting angry when somebody steals your tube of Preparation’re definitely too old to be playing pro football.

Monday, April 5, 2010



If your manager is in best shape of his life from all the time he spent walking out to the pitcher's mound during spring training...this might not be your team's World Series season.

If the only improvement the club has made since last season is the addition of a new team manicurist to eliminate the number of painful and embarrassing sack scratching injuries...this might not be your team's World Series season.

If to bolster concession sales during these tough economic times, the team is now giving players a 10 percent discount on all beer and hot dogs they buy before the 5th inning...this might not be your team's World Series season.

If your team decides to save millions of dollars on a quality closer by just mercifully just ending all your games after seven innings...this might not be your team's World Series season.

If your team receives a grant from the National Park Service based on your pitching staff having more damaged limbs than the Chequamegon National Forest after a tornado...this might not be your team's World Series season.

If the owner has announced a plan to combine the designated hitter with designated driver so your team’s many drunken players now at least have someone to drive them home after the game...this might not be your team's World Series season.

And if your team's logo looks suspiciously like the one on the usual, this will definitely not be your team's World Series season.


This weekend, the Post Crescent reported that back in February, a Waupaca police officer Tasered an 85-year-old man who wandered away from the Veteran's Home at King. We're sure the officer must have had a good excuse...or maybe even ten good excuses.


10. Afraid the old man was going to sink his teeth into him...and they weren’t even in his mouth.

9. He thought the old man was having a heart attack and mistook the Taser for a defibrillator.

8. The man was so old he reminded the cop of Andy Rooney and who wouldn't want to Taser Andy Rooney?

7. Knew the old man was packing a powerful weapon...the unparalleled political clout of the AARP.

6. Feared the old man might have been tripping on Geritol or Metamucil.

5. Same reason Jeanne sits so far away from Rick. Didn't want to get covered in old person smell.

4. Was concerned the man had taken Viagra and wanted to subdue him without getting close enough to get an eye poked out.

3. It was a cold February day and the thought of doing something that would cause him to burn in hell seemed like a good idea at the time.

2. Who needs an excuse? Taserin' folks is fun!

1. He had already used up all his pepper spray on a disabled kid.


March 16th City of Neenah
A woman called police to report she heard loud banging noises on her front door the previous evening and in the morning
found a large Christmas wreath on her front door.

March 18th Shawano County
A 47-year-old female who works at the T-Mart called the Sheriff’s office and complained to deputies that one of her customers… “gives her the creeps”.

March 31st City of Waupun
A woman on West Franklin Street called police to report her 6-year-old son was out of control and running around outside with a shovel.

March 16th City of Shawano
Police received a report of a half-naked man getting out of his car at the Taco Bell drive-thru, grabbing his tacos and fleeing. A Taco Bell employee sustained a minor injury in the incident.

March 19th Village of Sherwood
A theft was reported on Windsor Court. The reporting party came home a week ago and a woman was there with high heels and all dressed up. This woman jumped in bed with the reporting party's husband. She reported that a collection of linen tablecloths that she had for 30 years were missing, among other items. She believes this woman with high heels took them.

March 21st City of De Pere
Police were called to break up a domestic dispute on Samantha Street where a man spit on his girlfriend and the girlfriend broke a beer bottle over his head. The woman was apparently upset with the boyfriend because he had burned the pot roast.

Sunday, April 4, 2010


This past week, the Green Bay Packers elected Greg Koch to the team's Hall of Fame. Greg played for the Packers back in the mid 80's. When he left to go to the Dolphins, he had less than kind things to say about Green Bay. We responded and so did WAPL listeners.

Here's the story from the November 3rd, 1986 issue of Sports Illustrated. (Click the article twice to make it bigger!)

Friday, April 2, 2010


We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...35-year-old Brian Kluck who this week had his preliminary hearing set on charges related to a string of peeping incidents on Appleton's north side. The charges relate to a 2008 bust when Kluck was arrested for looking into bathroom windows and was found to be keeping detailed lists of women in the neighborhood that he had successfully seen nude and those he still wanted to see nude. Kluck reportedly told police he even kept track of when some of the women routinely showered and admitted he had even taken photos of at least three particular women.


For making it clear why the words "peep" and "creep" share so many letters.

For doing more to make take the pleasure out of a woman’s shower time than a steel wool loofa.

For giving even more women the hee-jeebees than my high school yearbook photo.

We are proud to name Brian Kluck of Appleton as this week's Rick and Len... Weenie of the Week!

Thursday, April 1, 2010


Comic Jeff Havens will stop my the Rick and Len Show on Friday morning. Jeff has his own Comedy Central special debuting later this year and is the author of the book Uncrapify Your Life. He's going to have his hands full if he thinks he can "uncrapify" the Rick and Len Show.

See Jeff this weekend at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton. make your reservations at 920-734-JOKE!