Many of us were frustrated by how the bad weather and tornado warnings messed with our TV viewing last night. For those of you who are still wondering what you missed due to local meteorologists flaunting the their "weather woodies", we got summaries of the interrupted and preempted shows from the networks.
On Glee, in an effort to expand it's audience beyond the young, the gay, and the acappella Madonna song enthusiasts; the New Directions glee club sang only tunes by Metallica. Teacher Will Schuester was brought up on manslaughter charges after tender male soprano Kurt died from internal bleeding when attempting to belt out "Give me fuel, “Give me fire, give me that which I desire'...and his larynx exploded.
On American Idol, when Ellen Degeneres leaned over to whisper something to Simon Cowell, the blunt Brit thrust his tongue so far down her throat it touched her G-spot. As the two began to passionately make-out, the hurt and jealous Ryan Seacrest jumped crying into the arms of Randy Jackson who assured the show host that he would always have his hot weekend with Simon in Sausalito to remember. As for the performances, who cares?
On Lost, Jack and Kate saved everyone's life with their ingenious plot to adopt Appleton's current smoking ban. Instead of attacking and killing the island's inhabitants, the dreaded smoke monster was forced to come no closer than 10 feet from island's front entrance.
On Dancing with the Stars, Pamela Anderson experienced a "wardrobe malfunction" when the industrial strength elastic in her bra snapped, killing host Tom Bergeron and knocking the all the gay out of judge Bruno Tonioli. Anderson was then voted off the show. When the results were announced, she shook her mammoth silicon moneymakers in judge Len Goodman's face while shouting "You voted these babies off?" Goodman was treated at a local hospital for facial lacerations commonly associated with motorboat injuries.