BEST MUG SHOTS OF THE YEAR #1

BEST MUG SHOT OF THE YEAR #2

LACHLAN RINGS OUT THE OLD AND RINGS IN THE NEW AT SKYLINE~

Lachlan Patterson will be bringing a boatload of funny to the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton this week.

Special New Years Eve hours, 7 and 9:30.

And don't forget Thursday night is WAPL night with 2 for 1 admission! Call 920-734-JOKE to make your reservations.

End 2010 or start 2011 with a laugh with this very funny guy at the Skyline!


http://www.rooftopcomedy.com//watch/FavoriteSexualPositions

BEST MUG SHOTS OF THE YEAR #3

BEST MUG SHOTS OF THE YEAR #4

BEST MUG SHOTS OF THE YEAR #5

BEST MUG SHOTS OF THE YEAR #6

BEST MUG SHOTS OF THE YEAR #7

BEST MUG SHOTS OF THE YEAR #8

BEST MUG SHOTS OF THE YEAR #9

2 HEADLINERS FOR THE PRICE OF HALF!

This week at the Skyline Comedy Cafe you get TWO headliners. Two national touring comics from our area return for the Holidays and share the stage this week. It's our pals Mike Merryfield AND Rob Brackenridge! That's two for the price of one EXCEPT tomorrow night (Thursday) is WAPL night with two for one admission. That's 2 comics for the price of 1/2!

Not only are they both very funny, but every minute spent at the Skyline Comedy Cafe this weekend is one less minute spent with your in-laws! Make your reservations at 920-734-JOKE (5653).


http://www.rooftopcomedy.com//watch/MySexyWisconsinAccent


http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/DaleEarnhardt

BEST MUG SHOTS OF THE YEAR #10

BEST MUG SHOTS OF THE YEAR #11

BEST MUG SHOTS OF THE YEAR #12

APPLETON GIRL GOES FOR PLAYBOY TITLE!

The lovely lass you see here is Appleton's own Katie Kruz, who is vying to be Playboy's Miss Social.
It's an online vote on Facebook. She'll be on The Rick and Len Show Tuesday, Dec. 21 at about 9 am. The voting is open, so click here to cast your ballot for Katie! The more often you hot the site, the more votes you get!

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 12.20.10

December 5th City of Neenah
A man reported to police that he was leaving his residence on Sixth Street because he and his wife had a verbal argument during which she threw a stuffed Winnie the Pooh doll at him.

December 7th City of Mayville
A woman reported to police that a 74-year-old woman gave her a bad check for an order of Tupperware.

December 9th City of Beaver Dam
Police received a report of "bad words" written on the ice on the pond at Swan City Park. Police decided to leave the bad words on the ice since they believed the snow would be covering them shortly.

November 30th City of Neenah
A man called police to report his wife was freaking out and running around the neighborhood.

December 12th Village of Suamico
A Pulaski High School student was fired from Subway on Velp Avenue after the owner allegedly found him with a pipe to smoke marijuana that had been made from a sink faucet nozzle and the store's plastic sauce dispenser.

December 14th City of Beaver Dam
A 14-year-old boy called police to report that the person he was shoveling for on Denning Avenue yelled at him and refused to pay him as much as he was expecting.

December 8th City of Neenah
A homeowner on Bosworth Lane reported that someone stole a white bear on skis. The culprit left behind the skis and one of the bear's legs.

December 15th City of Sheboygan
A man reported finding a 45-pound gray pygmy goat lying in the snow. If you have recently lost your pygmy goat, Sheboygan Police would like to talk you.

November 29th Town of Menasha
A man reported that his wife had struck a mailbox on Kees Road with their Chevrolet Uplander but she was too excited to report it.

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 12.17.10

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...the naked postal worker of Whitefish Bay. For those of you who missed the story, the 52-year-old suburban Milwaukee letter carrier delivered the mail bare ass naked to an office in "stressed out".

So,

For not grasping that when you deliver mail for a living, the only sack your customers want to see is the one with the letters in it.

For not understanding that if he truly wanted to cheer the woman up all he really had to do was just stop delivering her bills.

For apparently thinking USPS stands for United States Pervert Service.

And for not realizing that being approached by a strange naked man in your office is about as likely to lower your stress level as a six-pack of Hardee's Thick Burgers is to lower your cholesterol.

We are proud to name the naked Whitefish Bay mailman as this week's Rick and Len...Weenie of the Week!

MOSHE KASHER

Comic Moshe Kasher is at the Skyline Comedy Cafe this week. (In fact, tonight is WAPL night, so you get two for 1 admission by calling 920-739-JOKE. Full, but still very reasonable price, Friday and Saturday).

We'll meet Moshe for the first time Friday morning about 8. What do we need to know about him before he comes by/ Well, Moshe's website identifies him as being a "Comedian. Child genius. Jew. Jew comedian. OB-GYN". I don't believe met the likes of him before.

Here's a little taste:

http://www.rooftopcomedy.com//watch/FindingTheRightCompliment

YOU'D THINK THE GUY WHO INVENTED FACEBOOK WOULD HAVE A BETTER FACE!

SIGNS YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BE TIME MAGAZINE'S PERSON OF THE YEAR.

If the highlight of your year was getting locked in a closet by a sitcom star who’d done enough coke for two and a half men...you're probably not Time Magazine's person of the year.

If your marriage to America's sweetheart and Best Actress winner came to an abrupt end when it was revealed that you've been banging a bosomy, white trash internet model who’s covered in more red ink than the accounting ledgers at Playboy...you're probably not Time Magazine's person of the year.

If during a police stop in Las Vegas, it was revealed that you've apparently been paying $900 a ounce for what you believe is high grade, Peruvian Juicy Fruit...you're probably not Time Magazine's person of the year.

If you were in and out of rehab so many times in the last 12 months, any money you had left from the movie Mean Girls went toward install a revolving door on Betty Ford Center...you're probably not Time Magazine's person of the year.

If you gave the Calumet County District Attorney's Office such a black eye...you started sending it text messages and asking it out on dates...you're probably not Time Magazine's person of the year.

If your penis, which you texted a picture of to a New York sports reporter, is revealed to be the same number of inches as the number on your jersey...you're definitely not Time Magazine's person of the year.

PLEASE MR. POSTMAN...PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!

A Whitefish bay postal carrier says he simply wanted to cheer up a woman on his mail rounds who seemed "stressed out." But, upon further review, the postal worker says delivering the mail in the nude probably wasn’t such a good idea.

A police report says the 52-year-old man told the woman he would deliver the mail to her office in Whitefish Bay completely naked to make her laugh. He says the woman dared him to do it, so he took the dare December 4 and brought the mail wearing only a smile.

The mail carrier was arrested for lewd and lascivious behavior several days later at the North Shore Post Office. The man admitted delivering the mail naked was a stupid thing to do. Here's the top 10...

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR FROM YOUR NAKED MAILMAN.

10. I got your package right here.

9. Now this is what I call "junk" mail.

8. It may not be big but it's definitely first class.

7. This is what they mean by "special" delivery.

6. I’ve never gone postal but that doesn’t mean this thing doesn't shoot.

5. Now you see why they call us "male" men.

4. I don’t have any stamps but here's something else you can lick.

3. No, I didn't pee. That's just a little postage dew.

2. Do you want me to hold on to this for you or do you want me to stick it in your box?

1. I know this was sent Express but I bet you didn’t expect me to come this fast.

GRANDMA GOT MOLESTED A THE AIRPORT!

Here's the song we played this morning. It's by Donny Aldridge.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Qdb6wC0Iz4

WRONG! (FUNNY, BUT WRONG!)

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 12.13.10

December 6th City of Portage
Police responded to a call of a counterfeit dollar bill. Upon arrival, the officer learned the bill was not counterfeit. It was just a legitimate one dollar bill with a sticker of Santa Claus over the face of George Washington.

November 25th Village of Winneconne
A man called 911 to report his wife had gone crazy after the two of them spent time drinking at a village tavern. The 46-year-old Maple Street woman, who was highly intoxicated, told police her husband was acting weird by rebuffing her sexual advances. The 45-year-old husband, who had difficulty completing sentences, told officers his wife was acting crazy and would not leave him alone. The man told police his wife "acquires a mental illness" whenever she drinks.

December 7th City of Manitowoc
Police arrested a 50-year-old man who allegedly shoved a male family member who just had eye and hip surgery to the ground after the victim refused to give the man money to take him to his doctor’s appointment.

December 2nd City of Beaver Dam
A woman on Jefferson Street called police to report that someone drew male genitalia on her snowman in her front yard.

November 23rd City of New Berlin
Police received a report of a vehicle break-in on Rogers Drive where the thief absconded with a socket set and case of fruit punch.

BOWIE AND BING UPDATE

Check out this updated version of David Bowie and Bing Crosby's version of the Little Drummer Boy performed by Jack Black and Jason Segal (from How I Me Your Mother). Then download the song from iTunes! All proceeds go to Blue Star Families, a a charity that aids military families.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1944493

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 12.10.10

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week…the Sheboygan man who had his tongue bit off by his wife. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Isn't he the victim? If anyone, shouldn’t the wife who bit off the tongue be the weenie. Well, after careful deliberation, I say "no". First off, the wife, from all accounts, suffers from some psychological problems and was probably not responsible for her actions when the incident occurred. Second, the husband knew she has psychological problems and admits he knew she was having a "manic episode' at the time of the biting. And third, in spite of this, the husband chose to enter the bathroom and French kiss his manic wife...while she was on the toilet doing her business.

So,

For not understanding that just because your wife is "dropping the puck" doesn't mean that the time for tonsil hockey has begun.

For not realizing that when your mate is "stocking the porcelain pond with brown trout" it is not the time to go fishing for love.

For not comprehending that you shouldn't go poking around in the attic when "the big brown man is knocking on your wife's back door".

And for not getting that when your wife is "negotiating the release of the chocolate hostages" it's best to just keep your own mouth shut.

We are proud to name the guy who got his tongue bit off while kissing his wife while she was on the toilet as this week's Rick and Len...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

VIRGIN MIRTH

A shrine in Champion, 16 miles north of Green Bay has been designated by the Catholic Church as a place where the Virgin Mary appeared. But that was back in 1859. A lot has changed round these parts. Here's the the top reasons:

WHY THE VIRGIN MARY SHOULD RETURN TO THE GREEN BAY AREA

10. She could wait for Elvis to also appear and they share a ride on the Zippin' Pippin.

9. She could help defeat the forces of evil and vanquish the satanic minions...when they come up to Lambeau from Chicago on January 2nd.

8. She could perform the world's greatest miracle by creating a hat big enough for Tom Milbourn.

7. What better way to observe the birth of her son than winning something nice on the Rick and Len Wheel of Christmas Wonder.

6. Maybe she could head down to Sheboygan and heal that guy's tongue.

5. If she can polish off the 93 ounce Gilbert Burger at Champion's Sports Bar she gets a free autographed picture of former Packer Gilbert Brown. (Actually, I'm not sure they're still doing that at Champion's, but don't tell her that until she eats the whole burger!)

4. Could get drivers on 41, 43, and 172 to use their directionals and drive the speed limit and that, my friends, would be a miracle.

3. She's been known to heal the lame, and what could be more lame than the WIXX morning show.

2. Just as Jesus fed the multitudes with just a loaf of bread an a couple fish, she could feed everyone at Paul's Pantry with just the meat from Guy Zima's pants.

1. It would be many locals first opportunity to see a virgin.

ADAM RICHMOND AT SKYLINE...AND WITH RICK AND LEN!

He's not just funny. He's CANADIAN funny! Adam Richmond will be on the R&L Show tomorrow morning round about 8. You should tune in!

And tonight is WAPL night at the Skyline Comedy Cafe (really, "Cafe"? What is this frickin' Paris?)in Appleton. You get 2 for 1 admission. So you better show up. Otherwise, Adam will come by tomorrow morning and bitch about how YOU weren't there and I'll take it personal and become depressed and plunge into a downward shame spiral that ends with me taking an overdose of sleeping pills on Christmas morning. All because you couldn't be bothered to go see Adam Richmond at the Skyline tonight. Thanks a lot. See you in hell!

-Rick-

Oh, here's a clip of Adam that has some language that might not be safe for work.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABCMzqvG-N8

SCREW ZOMBIES! THIS CHRISTMAS, MUMMIES ARE WHERE IT'S AT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDiXPx2OqPI

PRENATAL POLE DANCING

One of the prizes on the Wheel of Christmas Wonder is the stripper po...I'm sorry, i mean the "Private Dancer" pole from ShannonsToyboy.com. Here's something you could do with it! (Caution: some language may not be safe for work!)

Prenatal Pole Dancing DVD from Christina Applegate

http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/4yj6

APOCALYPSE...NOW AT 40% SAVINGS!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGPkXqoqZA8

REASONS YOU NEED NEW JEWELRY FOR THE COMING APOCALYPSE.

7. A fine 27 jewel timepiece that’s crafted with handmade Swiss precision just what you need to keep you from being late and missing the end of the world.

6. A new ruby and ebony broach will perfectly compliment the sun turning black like ashes and the rivers running red with blood.

5. Just think of how embarrassing it would be to have Jesus return and see you wearing that cheap ass ring from Wal-Mart.

4. If I remember my bible correctly, one of the beatitudes was "Blessed are the bling-encrusted for theirs is the VIP section in Kingdom of Heaven".

3. Personalized matching rings will make it easier for you to be reunited with your soul mate in hell.

2. When the Rapture comes, god will only lift up those with purity in their hearts, goodness in their souls and one and a half carat diamonds in their ears.

1. If you're wearing a wedding ring there’s a better chance of going to heaven since god will assume you’ve already served your time in hell.

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 12-6-10

November 26th City of Menasha
Police were called to a South Oneida Street bar where a woman reportedly tripped and struck her head on a statue of Captain Morgan. (Alcohol is believed to be a factor!)

November 26th City of Beaver Dam
A man on Rosendale Street reported there was dog feces in the lobby of his building. An officer told the man he believed the feces was of human origin and also noted vandalism to a TV tray.

November 29th City of Green Bay
Police were called to a Doty Street residence where a 47-year-old man was yelling and throwing dishes. The man's girlfriend told police he was just drunk and celebrating a Chicago Bears victory.

November 11th City of Brown Deer
A male student was arrested for disorderly conduct in the parking lot of Brown Deer High School. The student reportedly took some trays from the school, placed them under his front tires, and then drove over them squealing his tires and doing multiple doughnuts. He said he just wanted to see what would happen if he drove over the trays.

November 12th Village of Bellevue
Police were called to Wal-Mart where an elderly woman reportedly drover her wheelchair into a rack of clothes rack and fled with stolen items.

WHEEL OF CHRISTMAS WONDER - WEEK 2!

The Rick and Len Show Wheel of Christmas Wonder. It's more than just iPads and stripper poles! Sure those are two of the items you could win between now and Christmas on the Wheel. but there is so much more! If you haven't checked out the (nearly) complete list if prizes, do so by clicking the able WOCW logo. (We may still add a few more items!)

Then listen to the Rick and Len Show weekday mornings from now until Christmas. When Rick and/or Len tell you call, call damn you. Dial like your life depended on it. If you win any of their goofy-ass contests, you get a spin and whatever prize comes up.

Don't miss you chances to win every weekday morning 6 to 10 here on 105.7 WAPL!

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 12.3.10

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week...all the line cutters and door rushers who on Black Friday caused problems at area businesses including (but not limited to) Toys R Us and Menard's in Grand Chute.

So,

For introducing Jerry Springer Show etiquette combined with WWE Cage Match rules to the season of peace and love.

For fighting and bickering on Black Friday when everybody was supposed to have gotten that out of their systems with their families on Thanksgiving.

For pushing and shoving, yelling and cursing and just generally engaging in behavior so rude, so uncouth, so unsettling they were only a closet and a whore away from being Charlie Sheen.

We are proud to name everybody who on Black Friday caused problems at area businesses as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIES OF THE WEEK!

DWAYNE KENNEDY IS BACK!

He's done all the biggies. Letterman, Kimmel, Conan, the Rick and Len Show! Dwayne Kennedy returns to the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton this week. That means he' ll drop by the R&L Show on Friday morning about 8am.

Check out the always funny Dwayne Kennedy at Skyline by calling to make your reservations at 920-734-JOKE.

IT'S A CLARK GRISWALD WET DREAM

To get you into the holiday spirit, Best Week Ever Video Editor Pete Schultz has put together this fantastic compilation of over 100 crazy Christmas light displays.

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/11/30/100-christmas-lights-2-minutes_n_790097.html

WE ARE THE WORLD 25.75

25 and 3/4 years ago, a bunch of music's biggest stars recorded We Are the World to fight world hunger. Now, a bunch of comics, some actors and one or two actual singers have re-recorded it poorly to raise money for the LA Food Bank. The line up includes Sarah Silverman, Kurt Russell, Weird Al Yankovic, Kevin Nealon, and some old friends who've graced our studio and appeared on the Rick and Len Show like Doug Benson, Jimmy Pardo, Maria Bamford and Matt Braugner.

Who knew Kurt Russell was this funny?

We Are The World 25.75 from Kurt Russell

http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/4xqu

ANOTHER HAPPY BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPER...AT MENARDS!

This video of a woman who reportedly tried to cut in line at the Grand Chute Menard's on Friday was one of the most viewed vids today on YouTube! We couldn't be more proud! WARNING: Language may not be safe for work.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWX7FBRAA74

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 11.29.10

November 21st Village of Bonduel
A woman on East Mill Street called police to report that a dog belonging to a neighbor has been running around and had "crapped by her mailbox".

November 17th City of Portage
Officers were called to Walgreen's where a 34-year-old woman was caught in the act of shoplifting a Fushigi Magic Gravity Ball.

November 23rd City of Shawano
Police were called to the Shawano County Job Center on East Elizabeth Street where a potential job seeker was using the Job Center computers to look at porn.

November 20th Village of Bonduel
Police were dispatched to a North Cecil Street residence after receiving a call from a woman who wanted to report that her husband is hiding her glasses, pouring water on the bed and taking the blankets.

November 21st City of Waupun
A woman called 911 to report that her hat and gloves were stolen from the bowling alley on Main Street. She refused to give her name or tell police where she was. According to police, she sounded very intoxicated and just kept yelling and swearing.

November 11th Village of Mukwonago
Parents were notified and extra patrols were added to the area around Rolling Elementary School after a suspicious incident where a man in his early 50's on highway NN threw a ball over the fence of the school grounds. After the incident made the news, a local pastor came forward and explained that he was driving down the road when he saw the ball in a ditch and as a good deed threw it back over the fence. No charges were filed against the pastor.

November 26th City of Madison
A 21-year-old Middleton woman was arrested when she threatened other shoppers while waiting in line at the Toys R Us store. Several hundred shoppers were in line just after 10 p.m., when the woman attempted to move to the front of the line. When she was confronted by other shoppers, she made threats to retrieve a gun and shoot the shoppers. No gun was found, and the woman, who was not named, was arrested and taken to the Dane County Jail. According to police, "She's now spending her shopping money to post bond".

R.I.P. LESLIE NIELSEN

Actor Leslie Nielsen died Sunday at age 84. A big monster came and took him to daddy heaven. Here's a scene from his awesome, little seen and short lived TV series Police Squad.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8PZFQz-qmo

BIGGER, BETTER, ROUNDER! THE WHEEL OF CHRISTMAS WONDER 2010

NOW THROUGH CHRISTMAS, every weekday morning you'll have multiple chances to win spins on the Rick and Len Wheel of Christmas Wonder!

What can you win? Oh boy, take a look!!!!

iPad.

Limited Edition Super Mario 25th Anniversary Red Nintendo Wii Console (with two games).

iPod Shuffles (latest generation).

Bryan Adams tickets for his show at the Weidner Center December 7th (including a pair of front row seats).

WWE Smackdown Tickets for February 8th at the Resch Center (both lower level and f'n ringside seats!!!!)

2 day snowmobile rental with pick-up and delivery from Power Sports Rental Network.

Stinky the Garbage Truck (click to watch super cool video!)

Private Dancer Pole Kit from Shannon'sToybox.com.

WAPL Christmas Bash Tickets.

Smart Planet Corn Dog Makers.

Star Trek Starship Enterprise Pizza Cutter (click to check out the cool video!)

Rolling Stones Monopoly and Rolling Stones Trivial Pursuit.

Claymaker (Clay Mathews) t-shirts.

Green Bay Packers Mr. Potato Head dolls.

KISS miniature replica guitars.

Keith Richard's new book, Life.

Doc's Harley Davidson of Shawano gift cards.
Timeline Saloon and BBQ gift cards. (next to Doc's)

Star Wars Scanimation Books.

$50 Cellcom gift card.

Digital Photo Frames from Cellcom.

Bluetooth Text Ready Headsets from Cellcom.

Eric Clapton Crossroads Guitar Festival 2010 DVD set.

Wisconsin Badgers 24kt gold coin etched acrylic with base.

Tickets for the Cool Waters Band December 11th show at Tanners in Kimberly.

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 11.24.10

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Appleton Department of Public Works Director Paula Vandehey who issued a notice that people planning to attend the Downtown Appleton Christmas Parade would not be allowed to leave chairs or blankets on the street this year to reserve their spots any earlier than 9am yesterday morning. Vandehey indicated that the department would collect anything they found left out earlier than that. Vandehey receives this dubious honor for two reasons. 1.) She didn't make the proclamation until 11:40 Monday morning and was then surprised that many people did not get the message. And 2.) For not acting on her threat to collect the items left out before 9am, thus, penalizing those who followed the rules and, in doing so, lost their prime viewing spots to those who did not.

So,

For making a decision that left more people standing out in the cold than the Wisconsin smoking ban.

For making a threat emptier than the heads on the set of Jersey Shore.

And for leaving College Avenue littered with so many old, dirty lawn chairs and filthy blankets, they might as well make downtown Appleton an alternate site for Country USA.

We are proud to name Appleton Department of Public Works Director Paula Vandehey as this week's Rick and Len...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.

COOKIE MONSTER AUDITIONS TO HOST SNL!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-PkQRh3QXA

BRETT-IREMENT IMMINENT!

WHAT MINNESOTA VIKING OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR DARRELL BEVELL SAID TO BRETT AFTER HE THREW AN INTERCEPTION THAT MADE HIM SO MAD.

10. "Perhaps you didn't hear the play I called over the sound of the fat lady singing."

9. "Do we need to send three players to your house to talk you into quitting, too?"

8. "Too bad you didn't come to training camp where we discussed the importance of throwing the ball to the guys in the purple uniforms."

7. "You're not just done. You're Vica-done!"

6. "Hey, are the pants the Packers are beating off of you, Wranglers?"

5. "Bet Randy Moss would have caught that one."

4. There is no number 4. Just like yesterday, Number 4 didn't show up.

3. "We're going to miss you, too, Brent."

2. "I'd call you a big dick but I've seen the pictures."

1. "Boy, was Ted Thompson right!"

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 11.22.10

November 10th City of Beaver Dam
An intoxicated man called police to report finding a counterfeit penny. Police determined that the item described was not a penny, but likely a token of some sort.

November 10th Village of Shorewood
A 70-year-old man was arrested after he grabbed a police officer's "buttocks and squeezed two times" while in Municipal Court.

November 19th City of Stevens Point
A side door was damaged and construction materials at the Central Wisconsin Children's Museum were strewn about during the night. Someone had also defecated on a chair.

November 4th City of Brown Deer
A man called police to report a woman stole from him. When they arrived, the man told police he had picked up the woman on a corner, not for sex but to just play cards. Eventually both admitted the man offered to pay her $30 for a specific sexual act that she refused to do.

November 11th Village of Shorewood
A woman on North Larkin Street called police to report someone was trying to open her balcony door. Police found it to be a pizza delivery man who climbed up to the second floor balcony in an effort to deliver a pizza.

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 11.19.10

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...66-year-old Steven Cowan of Black Earth, Wisconsin, near Madison, who this week threatened his wife and shot his television set while keeping police at bay for 15 hours all because he was angry that Bristol Palin is on Dancing with the Stars. Cowen was reportedly upset because he believes the young Palin is not a good a dancer and the only reason she is on the show is "f'n politics".

So,

For destroying his television set meaning Sarah Palin can now see Russia from her house better than he can see her daughter from his living room.

For putting a bullet through his TV while watching Dancing with the Stars where as a normal man would have put it through his head.

And for realizing what tens of thousands of Wisconsinites have not, that there is no need to brave the cold, wet northern woods this weekend in search of a 30-point buck when he could stay at home and bag a 30-inch Zenith.

We are proud to name 66-year-old Steven Cowan of Dane County who shot his TV and staged a 15 hour police stand off because he was upset that Bristol Palin was on Dancing With the Stars as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.

MIKE LUKAS WITH RICK AND LEN

Mike Lukas returns to the Rick and Len Show Friday morning. He'll join us on-location at Appleton Power Sports during the Rock for Hunger Food Drive about 8am (and presumably make jokes about snowmobiles and canned goods).

I saw Mike Wednesday night at Skyline and he made me laugh so hard I steamed my glasses twice. Seriously!

See Mike tonight at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton and 2 for 1 admission because it's WAPL Night. Call 734-JOKE (5653) to make your reservation. Full (but still very reasonable) price on Thursday and Friday. Hey, laughter is the best medicine and Skyline Comedy Cafe is a lot cheaper than a colonoscopy (and twice as much fun!).

Here's a little taste of Mike from the Tonight Show...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh2dbkBGXVg

WIN THIS BRETT PEVRE SHIRT ON TODAY'S RICK AND LEN SHOW!

SPECIAL EVENT WEDNESDAY NIGHT AT SKYLINE COMEDY!

Wednesday night see TEN of the Midwest's best comics at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton competing for a spot at one of the nation's most prestigious comedy festivals. That's right, TEN comics for $10.00!!!!!

Skyline is one of 25 clubs throughout the country that this week will be hosting preliminary round competition for the Laughing Skull Comedy Festival next April in Atlanta. The top two comics from this show will compete in Atlanta for cash prizes and some prime bookings at top comedy clubs around the country.

These ten comics were chosen from hundreds who submitted tapes of their work to the festival. See them in action, plus your very funny emcee for the evening, Steve Hartman. (So, that's actually 11 comics for $10!)

Call Skyline to make your reservations for this one night only experience, Wednesday night at 8pm! Call 920-734-JOKE! Box office opens Wednesday morning at 10!

(I get to be one of the 3 judges, so I guess I'll see you there!) -Rick-

SIGNS YOUR AIRPORT SECURITY AGENT MIGHT BE TOO INTRUSIVE!

Have you seen the video of the California man's confrontation with a TSA agent who was about to pat him down? The guy had opted for the pat down instead of going through the new x-ray screener and tells the agent "Don't touch my junk or I'll have you arrested". (If I'm not mistaken, those are words first utter by Fred Sanford.)

It must be hard for TSA agents to know where to draw the line between being thorough and being "handsy". Here are some guidlines:

SIGNS YOUR AIRPORT SECURITY AGENT MIGHT BE TOO INTRUSIVE

If his hands have touched so many packages, they let him wear a UPS uniform to work...your airport security agent might be too intrusive.

If after looking in your luggage and patting you down, he informs you that the condoms in your toiletry bag are the wrong size...your airport security agent might be too intrusive.

If he tells you you're free to board the plane but suggests you get your left testicle biopsied as soon as you land...your airport security agent might be too intrusive.

If to find someone who would willingly spend as much time touching your junk, you'd have to get a phone number from Charlie Sheen...your airport security agent might be too intrusive.

If the whole experience leaves you feeling like you were Miss Black Rhode Island and he was Mike Tyson...your airport security agent might be too intrusive.

If on an average day, he touches more wieners than the quality control inspector at Berge's Whitelaw Sausage Company...your airport security agent might be too intrusive.

If he runs his hands over your nuts so many times you'd swear he was Stevie Wonder and the wrinkles on your sack were Braille...your airport security agent is definitely being too intrusive!

PUT AN AXE IN THE HANDS OF KIDS!

Join the guys in Annex for Tommy VIII, the annual benefit concert that puts musical instruments
in the hands of kids in Northeast Wisconsin.

The event was started after the death of bassist Tommy Steinbruecker eight years ago.

Tommy VIII is Saturday, Nov. 20th at Tanner's in Kimberly, featuring A-Town Unplugged, Rooftop Jumpers, Boxkar, Greg Waters and the Broad Street Boogie, Annex and Roadtrip.

Doors open at 5p.m. and the music starts at 6. Tickets are $10. get them at Tanner's or at Mill Creek in Appleton.

Listen to the Rick and Len Show this week for your chance to win tickets!

There is also a Green Bay Tommy VIII concert Nov. 26th at The Riverside Ballroom featuring Annex and several other groups.

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 11.15.10

November 8th City of Portage
Police responded to a report of an altercation on MacFarlane Road. When they arrived, they found two people allegedly swatting each other with a rolled up newspaper.

October 28th City of Appleton
An African Violet Drive resident reported that some kids had left a tube sock filled with feces outside the reporting party's door so it would be stepped on when they rang the doorbell. Extra patrol of the area was requested.

November 11th Village of Eland
A Spruce Street resident filed a trespassing complaint after hunters had hung some deer genitals on a tree on his property.

October 24th City of Appleton
A 48-year-old Detroit man told police that he returned to his hotel room after drinking in bars on College Avenue and was missing his roll of cash, estimated at $1,600, and said it may have fallen out of his pocket. Police retraced the man's route and discovered he had left the money on the bar at a downtown tavern and the money was being held for him.

October 31st City of Whitefish Bay
A North Santa Monica Boulevard resident called police to report a disorderly person during trick or treating. The caller told police that when she refused to give candy to a child not wearing a costume, the child’s mother yelled at her.

IT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE ME!

Len and I received this automated doll called Commode Charlie from Emily, our young friend we've met from our association with Children's Hospital. I don't care what Len and Jeanne say, IT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE ME!

-Rick-

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 11.12.10

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...Nancy L. Thornburg of Fond du Lac who after being convicted of drunken driving for the eighth time showed up at her sentencing hearing...intoxicated.

So,

For getting 8 OWIs proving that she learns so well from her own mistakes she's able to repeat them perfectly.

For spending more time in handcuffs than Harry Houdini.

And for showing up at her operating while intoxicated sentencing hearing drunk which is only slightly less inappropriate than showing up at your sentencing hearing for sexual assault with a boner.

We are proud to name Nancy L. Thornburg of Fond du Lac as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

PAULA BEL WITH RICK AND LEN!

You've seen her on the Tonight Show and Last Comic Standing, Paula Bel is appearing at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton this week. She'll bring the funny to the Rick and Len Show Friday morning about 8.
Get 2 for 1 admission tonight because it's WAPL Night and we known you can use a laugh! Make your reservation to see Paula tonight (or Friday or Saturday night if you're one of those hoity-toity people who like to pay full price). Call 920-734-JOKE(5653).

Here's Paula in action:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHxsx_LkcSA

THIS D.A. WAS A PRIZE AS WELL.

Disgraced former Winnebago County D.A. Joe Paulus got sprung from federal lockup this week. Since we're pretty sure he was disbarred, it's going to hard for him to find another job where he can bang women on his desk. Plus, he still has to pay back over $48,000 in bribe money. What will he do? We've got some ideas.

JOBS FOR JOE PAULUS

10. Professional man whore. ("I was porking her and I'm loving it!")

9. Desk strength tester at Office Depot. ("I was porking her I and I'm loving it!")

8. Commercial spokesperson for McDonald's ("I'm loving it!")

7. Commercial spokesperson for Soap on a Rope.

6. There is no number 6. I accepted $48,000 in bribe money to skip number 6.

5. Ken Kratz legal adviser and/or new district attorney for Calumet County.

4. President of the United States. (Hey, the sex and the office desk thing worked for Clinton!)

3. Aerobics instructor given all the experience he must have gotten bending over and touching his toes every week for 6 years in the prison shower.

2. Opening course preparer for local restaurant since I'm sure he must have tossed a few salads in prison.

1. New Dallas head football coach since, after 6 years in prison he surely learned, like the Cowboys did last Sunday night, what it's like to be the bitch to a large group of physically imposing men.

EMILY'S ANGELS

Our pal Emily (who you've heard with us during the Children's Hospital Radiothon for the last several years) will be selling her hand made angels this Saturday from 1 to 4 at Windows of Light/Angels Forever in Downtown Appleton (across from the Paper Valley Hotel). For more info about Emily, her angels and the event click here, (then click "events")

Plus, Windows of Light/Angels Forever (and many other Downtown Appleton retailers will donate a portion of all their proceeds Friday and Saturday to Make A Wish!

HAPPY BOY LIVE/COUNTRY DICK NOT

15 years ago today, Country Dick Montana of the Beat Farmers died on stage during a concert in Windsor, Ontario. Here's a video of Country Dick and the Beat Farmers performing the longtime R&L Show favorite, Happy Boy in concert. Hubba Hubba Hubba Hubba Hubba!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J40rLaARx00

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 11.8.10

October 19th City of New Holstein
Police received a report of chickens on County Highway J that keep crossing the road. The caller was advised that the county does not have an ordinance to stop the chickens from crossing the road. The reporting party was concerned that the chickens may cause an accident. It remains unknown why the chickens
crossed the road!

Oct 30th City of Neenah
Police cited a 40-year-old Menasha woman for disorderly conduct after she yelled and screamed profanity and tried to hit one of the nurses with an IV pole.

October 31st Village of Gresham
Police responded to a juvenile problem after a caller reported seeing two kids throwing a dummy into the roadway.

October 26th City of Mequon
A 22-year-old Illinois man was cited for trespassing on North Lake Shore Drive. A caller said the man walked up from the beach and sat on her porch and wouldn't leave. The man, who was muddy from the climb, admitted smoking a strain of cannabis called "Blue Dragon," when he saw surf boards at the home and wanted to talk about surfing.

October 24th Village of Sherwood
A disturbance was reported on Spring Hill Drive. The reporting
party stated that a neighbor swears at them. They admitted to police that the poop in their yard may not be from the neighbor's dog. They were both advised to avoid similar confrontations in the future.

October 23rd City of Brown Deer
A 21-year-old man and an 18-year-old woman were cited for disorderly conduct after neighbors reported them yelling at each other. The woman told police that she and the man were breaking up and he had her flip flops and she wanted them back. The man reportedly threw the flip-flops at the woman who responded by throwing a neighbor's pumpkin in the direction of his car.

November 2nd City of Shawano
A South River Street resident requested extra patrols in her neighborhood after a plastic wash tub was reported stolen.

October 15th City of Brown Deer
Police were called to Brown Deer High School where a teacher told a 15-year-old boy to pull up his low-riding pants, which he refused to do. She then told him to go the Student Service Office to get something to help his pants stay up. The boy responded by telling the teacher, "If I wanted pants that f'n stay up, I would buy pants that f'n stay up. Mind your own f'n business." The student was cited for disorderly conduct.

October 26th City of Neenah
A security worker at a department store on West Winneconne Avenue reported that a man stole about $60 worth of DVDs. The suspect fled north on Tullar Road. He is described as being about 30 years old with long sideburns and shoulder-length dyed pink and purple hair.

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 11.5.10

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Wisconsin's new Senator-elect Ron Johnson who during his Tuesday night's victory speech said that "we’ve dug ourselves a deep hole" and "we know what needs to be done if you're trying to get out of a deep hole, you need to start digging".

That's right. We're in a deep hole so we better start digging. While I'm clearly no expert on matters like excavation projects, I'm pretty sure that the best thing to do when you're in a hole is to try to climb out rather that start digging which can only make the hole bigger and deeper.

So,

For realizing that even with as many problems as we are currently facing, there is a light at the end of the tunnel... and apparently expecting us to tunnel all the way through the earth to get to the light.

For not yet understanding that as an elected official, he will frequently expected to shovel something...but it won't necessarily be dirt in a hole.

And for being unlike so many elected officials who don't know their ass from a hole in the ground and instead not knowing a hole in the ground from a hole in the ground.

We are proud to name Wisconsin's new Senator-elect Ron Johnson (who, using the same logic must think the best cure for diarrhea is Mexican food) as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

WIN TIX TO SEE DANE COOK AT THE RESCH CENTER!

November 10th, comic DANE COOK is bringing is unique, physical brand of funny to the Resch Center in Green Bay!

Tune into the Rick and Len Show all next week for your chances to win tickets!!!!!

Or don't take your chances, click here to buy your tickets now!

And make sure you watch the video below. It may help you win the tickets on FRIDAY morning edition of the Rick and Len Show!

Jokes.com
Dane Cook - God Bless You
comedians.comedycentral.com
Dane Cook Kool Aid Video Dane Cook Stand-Up Dane Cook Jokes

http://comedians.comedycentral.com/dane-cook/videos/dane-cook---god-bless-you

MATT BRAUGHNER AT SKYLINE (AND WITH RICK AND LEN)

He's been on Letterman, Leno, Chelsea Lately, even been a regular cast member on Mad TV and was one of 8 comedians on Comedy Central's hottest comics of 2009. He's Matt Braugnher and he'll join us on the Rick and Len Show Friday morning at 8:00am.

See Matt at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton. TONIGHT'S WAPL NIGHT FOR GOD SAKE!!! 2 for 1 admission. 8 bucks for two people! That works out to 4 bucks a piece! To see one of the hottest comics of the last year! And what? You're going to sit home on your dead ass watching CSI? ARE YOU CRAZY?

Make your reservations to see Matt tonight (or at the regular price Friday or Saturday) by calling 920-734-JOKE(5673)

Here's Matt entertaining people who actually took off their sweat pants, put of some real clothes and went out for evening. Just like you could!


http://www.rooftopcomedy.com//watch/CadburyCremeEggs

WIN TIX TO SEE DANE COOK AT THE RESCH CENTER!

November 10th, comic DANE COOK is bringing is unique, physical brand of funny to the Resch Center in Green Bay!

Tune into the Rick and Len Show all next week for your chances to win tickets!!!!!

Or don't take your chances, click here to buy your tickets now!

And make sure you watch the video below. It may help you win the tickets on THURSDAY morning edition of the Rick and Len Show!

Jokes.com
Dane Cook - Cell Phone Club
comedians.comedycentral.com
Dane Cook Kool Aid Video Dane Cook Stand-Up Dane Cook Jokes

http://comedians.comedycentral.com/dane-cook/videos/dane-cook---cell-phone-club

SHAQEETA?

Just in case you've ever wanted to see Shaquille O'Neal dressed as a female prostitute lip-syncing Beyonce. Yeah. Just in case. (Like to see Charlie Sheen try to lock his ass in a closet!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVwZ-Ai6iJ4

BID OF THIS AARON RODGERS JERSEY!

Bid on this awesome autographed Aaron Rodger's jersey!

A few weeks back, we held the Help Twitchy raffle to benefit Jonah Hines, a cool kid from Van Dyne who suffers from a rare and severe form of Tourette's Syndrome. He was greatly helped by an experimental procedure that his insurance won't pay for. One of the items we auctioned was this jersey. The winner was a guy from DePere named Tim who donated the jersey back to us to auction off. (Thanks Tim! You rock!)

Give us a call with your bid Wednesday morning at the Rick and Len Show or e-mail us your bid by clicking here now!

WIN TIX TO SEE DANE COOK AT THE RESCH CENTER!

November 10th, comic DANE COOK is bringing is unique, physical brand of funny to the Resch Center in Green Bay!

Tune into the Rick and Len Show all next week for your chances to win tickets!!!!!

Or don't take your chances, click here to buy your tickets now!

And make sure you watch the video below. It may help you win the tickets on TUESDAY morning edition of the Rick and Len Show!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqrIqOHOg50

WIN TIX TO SEE DANE COOK AT THE RESCH CENTER!

November 10th, comic DANE COOK is bringing is unique, physical brand of funny to the Resch Center in Green Bay!

Tune into the Rick and Len Show all next week for your chances to win tickets!!!!!

Or don't take your chances, click here to buy your tickets now!

And make sure you watch the video below. It may help you win the tickets on WEDNESDAY morning edition of the Rick and Len Show!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ds-AREXTaPY