SIGNS YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BE TIME MAGAZINE'S PERSON OF THE YEAR.If the highlight of your year was getting locked in a closet by a sitcom star who’d done enough coke for two and a half men...you're probably not Time Magazine's person of the year.
If your marriage to America's sweetheart and Best Actress winner came to an abrupt end when it was revealed that you've been banging a bosomy, white trash internet model who’s covered in more red ink than the accounting ledgers at Playboy...you're probably not Time Magazine's person of the year.
If during a police stop in Las Vegas, it was revealed that you've apparently been paying $900 a ounce for what you believe is high grade, Peruvian Juicy Fruit...you're probably not Time Magazine's person of the year.
If you were in and out of rehab so many times in the last 12 months, any money you had left from the movie Mean Girls went toward install a revolving door on Betty Ford Center...you're probably not Time Magazine's person of the year.
If you gave the Calumet County District Attorney's Office such a black eye...you started sending it text messages and asking it out on dates...you're probably not Time Magazine's person of the year.
If your penis, which you texted a picture of to a New York sports reporter, is revealed to be the same number of inches as the number on your jersey...you're definitely not Time Magazine's person of the year.
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