APOCALYPSE...NOW AT 40% SAVINGS!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGPkXqoqZA8

REASONS YOU NEED NEW JEWELRY FOR THE COMING APOCALYPSE.

7. A fine 27 jewel timepiece that’s crafted with handmade Swiss precision just what you need to keep you from being late and missing the end of the world.

6. A new ruby and ebony broach will perfectly compliment the sun turning black like ashes and the rivers running red with blood.

5. Just think of how embarrassing it would be to have Jesus return and see you wearing that cheap ass ring from Wal-Mart.

4. If I remember my bible correctly, one of the beatitudes was "Blessed are the bling-encrusted for theirs is the VIP section in Kingdom of Heaven".

3. Personalized matching rings will make it easier for you to be reunited with your soul mate in hell.

2. When the Rapture comes, god will only lift up those with purity in their hearts, goodness in their souls and one and a half carat diamonds in their ears.

1. If you're wearing a wedding ring there’s a better chance of going to heaven since god will assume you’ve already served your time in hell.