Wednesday, June 1, 2011

THOR LOSERS!

A new paper by Brown University Department of History researchers attempts to explain why The Viking's disappeared. They claim it was a result of climate change. We have our own ideas...ten to be exact.

THE TOP TEN REASONS THE VIKINGS DISAPPEARED

10. Tribal council failed to approve bonding referendum to build them a new coliseum even after the old one was damaged by heavy snow as a punishment from the gods.

9. One of their elders was accused of sending etchings of his horn to unknowing maiden.

8. Many lost interest in raping and plundering after no longer being allowed to bring in out-of-state talent for their debauched longboat parties.

7. Incompetent guidance from their leader Brad the Bald.

6. Despite coming close on several occasions, could never pillage the big one.

5. Under-utilized their greatest warrior Adrian the Fast while relying too heavily on aging Brett Graybeard.

4. Left longtime ice covered homeland for warmer Valhalla like land called Los Angeles.

3. Spent too much time sacking port cities of the North Atlantic instead of opposing quarterbacks.

2. Same reason all the other barbarian tribes vanished...couldn’t reach Collective Pillaging Agreement.

1. Could no longer stand being viciously plundered twice a year by superior tribe just 275 miles to their east.

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