Well, Congressman Anthony Wiener finally admitted the the crotch shot he sent to some woman on Twitter was, in fact, his. This after a week long "investigation" by Wiener to find out if the crotch in the picture was his. As suspicious as that sounds, you have to understand that it was very hard, er, difficult for him to recognize his junk without his testicles which were removed when he joined the Democratic party.
The whole story has made me realize that with all wieners looking like
WAYS TO MAKE YOUR WIENER EASIER FOR YOU TO IDENTIFY
10. Dress it up in a nice jaunty hat.
9. Paint it red and white to look more patriotic when paired with your blue balls.
8. Let your cats use it as a scratching post.
7. Get one of them big white birds like Beretta and let him perch on it.
6. Draw a face on it which will make it both easier to identify and put on delightful puppet shows.
5. Attach a white flag to it. This will not only make it easier for you to identify. It will also make you look French.
4. You can keep the purple helmet, but have the number 4 removed to clear up any confusion.
3. Hang a white cane and tin cup from it after putting a patch over it's one eye.
2. Tie a string around it which will also serve a subtle reminder to "Hey, don't take picture of this and Tweet it to impressionable girls".
1. Slather it in mustard and put it in a bun which while making it easier to identify will also make it riskier to attend baseball games and Ricky Martin barbecues.