CEREAL FLASHER!

There was a story in the news today about a woman and her young daughter who were shopping in a the cereal aisle of their grocery store when some jerk exposed himself to them. What would someone do such a thing in a place as wholesome as the cereal aisle, surrounded by all those healthy grains? There must be a reason...maybe even ten!

REASONS THE GUY WAS EXPOSING HIMSELF IN THE GROCERY STORE CEREAL AISLE

10. Just showing off his Grape Nuts.

9. Thought she might be looking to get her hands on his Lucky Charms.

8. Mistook her for Mikey and, as we all know, he'll eat anything.

7. He was rubbing himself until he "snapped, crackled and popped".

6. Thought the woman was hungry for his Crunch Berries.

5. Was just offering the woman his "breakfast of champions".

4. Had two more shriveled, raisins he wanted to add to the bran.

3. Just airing out his Fruity Pebbles.

2. Was flashing the daughter because silly perverts think dicks are kids.

1. He's a Fruit Loop.