GLOBE WARMING, MARRIAGE COOLING!

After 40 years of marriage, Al and Tipper Gore announced yesterday that they're calling it quits. They say they've just "grown apart". But what are the real reasons? Here's our top ten:


REASONS WHY AL AND TIPPER HAVE SPLIT

10. Tipper discovered an inconvenient truth...Al was banging Bombshell McGee.

9. After 20 years, Al just wants to be able to listen to 2 Live Crew in his own house, for god sake.

8. All Al's proof of global warming has done nothing to keep Tipper from becoming frigid.

7. Every time Tipper enumerates the many reasons she loved him, Al would demand a recount.

6. Al thinks he can watch porn on-line 24-7 just because he invented the internet.

5. Unresolved issues after Tipper pawned the Nobel Prize trophy Al received for his work fighting global warming and used the cash to buy a Hummer.

4. Al never got over the fact that during their famous kiss at the 2000 Democratic convention, he tasted Bill Clinton on Tipper's lips.

3. Al started blaming global warming on Tipper's menopausal
hot flashes.

2. Tipper was just sick of him referring to her lady parts as the "lockbox".

1. Not really sure why they're breaking up, but you can bet your ass that whatever Al wins in the divorce settlement, the Supreme Court will award to George W. Bush.