MEAT ME IN ATLANTA!

Maggots falling from a spoiled container of meat in someone's luggage forced a US Airways flight departing Atlanta to return to the gate Monday. The maggots were dropping on to passengers from the overhead compartment. Why would somebody be traveling with rotten meat? There must be a good explanation. Maybe ten good explanations!

REASONS FOR TRAVELING WITH A SUITCASE FULL OF ROTTEN MEAT.

10. The overpowering stench covers of the smell of alcohol on the pilot’s breath.

9. Inspiration for new movie about Samuel L. Jackson trying to get these mother frickin' maggots off this mother frickin' plane.

8. Meat was in a pair of pants left behind by the bag’s previous owner, Green Bay alderman Guy Zima.

7. No matter how rotten, stinky and maggot-filled the meat may be, it's still more appetizing than your in-flight meal.

6. Easier to keep track of your luggage if you can always smell where it is.

5. Dogs too busy gagging and vomiting to sniff your bag for drugs.

4. Since you can't travel with toothpaste or mouthwash, best not to travel with food that is edible.

3. Rolling it up to swat crawling maggots, only suitable use for otherwise worthless complimentary in-flight magazine.

2. Watching crawling maggots drop from the overhead compartment more interesting that watching another in-flight movie staring Kate Hudson.

1. Simple misunderstanding. Passenger thought carry-on was spelled "c-a-r-r-i-o-n".