AUGGIE SMITH RETURNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He's been a Rick and Len Show fave for almost a decade! It's Auggie Smith returning to the Rick and Len Show Friday morning at 8!

See Auggie at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton through Saturday night. Click here to buy your tickets or call 920-734-JOKE (5653). But Hurry. Thursday night is already sold out and Friday and Saturday shows are selling quickly!


http://youtu.be/YYKB750SGjo

HAPPY 68TH BIRTHDAY CHRISTOPHER WALKEN...YOU CRAZY COWBELL LOVIN' SON OF A BITCH!

More Cowbell! - watch more funny videos

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/80a71ef8cb/more-cowbell

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 3.27.11

March 22nd City of Shawano
A caller complained to police that someone was using an unknown pink liquid to taint their maple syrup.

March 19th City of Waupun
Police were called to the Waupun Community Center where tempers flared between two people attending an ice skating show.

March 19th City of Waupun
An employee at McDonald's reported to police that three men in a red car were just in the drive-through asking for sexual favors from the female employees. They took off on Highway 49. Police made contact, and the driver said it was just his friend joking around, and he didn't mean anything by the comments. The friend was given a warning.

March 15th City of Mequon
A 45-year-old woman was arrested for drunken driving and failure to stop for an emergency vehicle. A squad car pulled in front of the woman but she drove around it and continued while being followed by the squad car with lights and sirens. When stopped, she admitted having one glass of wine at a bagel store which doesn't sell wine. She then began grinding her teeth very loudly saying she always did that when she was nervous.

March 12th City of Whitefish Bay
A 60-year-old woman was arrested for hit and run and failure to report an accident. Two witnesses saw the driver run into a tree, swerve onto the medium and hit bricks and a power box. She stopped her car, got out, smiled and waved at the witnesses and then drove away.

March 10th Calumet County
A caller living on Highway 10 told police there is a light that flashes 5-6 times a night from somewhere behind his property. The area was checked and nothing was found. Hanging a heavier curtain on the window was suggested by police.

BRITNEY SPEARS POO COCKTAIL JACKASS VIDO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekIgI55XG58&feature=player_embedded

HIT ME WITH A SLEGDEHAMMER!

Listen to The Rick and Len Show this week for your chance Beat the Box Office and win tickets to see the legendary Peter Gabriel live in concert at Summerfest!
The former Genesis frontman and Grammy-winning solo artist headlines the Marcus Amphitheatre mainstage at Summerfest on Wednesday, June 29th. Tickets go on sale Saturday, April 2nd. Click here for more info.

THE ENGLISH BEAT AT TURNER HALL!!!

Remember the early 80's when British ska was all the rage? A little rock, a little reggae and a whole lot of dancing? The English Beat was at the top of the heap and they are back! Catch 'em at Turner Hall in Milwaukee this Friday night. And listen for a chance to win a pair of tickets this week on The Rick and Len Show! Click here to order tickets or get more info.

GREG HAHN TO ATTACK WAPL AIRWAVES!

The hilarious Greg Hahn joins The Rick and Len Show Friday at 8 am. Catch him at The Skyline Comedy Cafe through Saturday. Click here for ticket info.

VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE WISCONSIN BAND!

It's time to cast your vote for your favorite Wisconsin band! To cast a ballot for the WAMI People's Choice Awards, click here.
Voting ends April 4th and the winners will get their props at the Wisconsin Area Music Industry (WAMI) Awards April 17th at Turner Hall in Milwaukee.

WILDWOOD FILM FEST THIS SATURDAY IN APPLETON

The annual Wildwood Film Festival is this Saturday at the Fox Cities PAC. To buy tickets or to just learn more about the films, all of which have some connection to Wisconsin, click here.

VIDEO SHOWN ON JAPANESE TV TO EXPLAIN NUKE CRISIS TO KIDS...SERIOUSLY!

Have you seen the video they aired on Japanese TV to explain the nuclear reactor crisis to children? It likens the nuclear reactor to a small boy with a stomach ache and as long as he only farts and not poops, everything will be okay. Must see! To weird to miss!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sakN2hSVxA

BE THE MATCH BENEFIT FOR BELLA

Here's a chance to help a lot of people who need bone marrow transplants, including a little girl from our area named Bella Griggs.

Bella has a rare form of anemia that causes bone marrow failure and sometimes leukemia and other cancers.
This Saturday, March 26th from 1 to 4 pm there's a combination benefit and bone marrow registry drive (and a blood drive, too) at the Lawrence University Gym.

Proceeds will be split between Bella's family and the Be The Match National Registry program.

Find out more about Bella by clicking here.
Find out more about Be The Match by clicking here.
Find out more about Saturday's event on Facebook : Bone Marrow for Bella by clicking here.

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 3.21.11

March 18th City of Oshkosh
Police responded to Kelly's Bar where two 21-year-old women got into a fight after one of them took too long inside the bathroom. One of the women was using the bathroom while the second waited impatiently outside. The woman in the bathroom came out swinging her fists, and was thrown out of the bar by bouncers. The second woman then went after the woman who took too long in the bathroom and wound up hitting her head on a cement parking block, an injury which required stitches.

March 17th City of Beaver Dam
Police received an anonymous report of a broken bottle on the sidewalk in the 300 block of North Spring Street. The caller said there was glass all over. However when police arrived they found that the bottle was actually plastic and unbroken. The scene was cleaned up by police.

March 15th City of Waupun
Police received a report of possible abuse from a caller who said he was driving on East Franklin Street and that he heard a 3-year-old girl who was outside yelling. Police found there was no abuse going on. The child was just playing on a trampoline.

March 12th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A woman called police to report her mother would not stop texting her.

March 5th City of Mequon
A resident reported that sometime before midnight the previous night, someone covered her vehicle with syrup and tampons.

March 12th City of Oak Creek
An 18-year-old man was cited for urinating in public on the Oak Creek police station. The man was dropped off at the station to secure a ride after the person he was riding with was pulled over without a valid license. The 18-year-old man went outside the police station and urinated on the building despite there being public restrooms in the lobby.

March 8th City of Wauwatosa
A 25-year-old man was arrested for retail theft after he entered a woman's fitting room and put on $430 worth of women’s clothing at Macy's and attempted to leave the store.

March 16th City of Waupun
A woman on East Main Street said she just saw three girls around 14 years of age steal some letters from the NAPA signboard in front of the business. Police found the girls and returned the stolen letters to the store.

March 5th City of Mequon
Police received numerous calls reporting a toilet sitting in the middle of Mequon and Port Washington roads. Responding officers disposed of the toilet.

March 15th City of Beaver Dam
Police received a report of two fist fights going on simultaneously outside of Don Smith Learning Academy. Two boys, 15 and 17, were in a fist fight when their mothers began to throw punches at each other at the same scene. All four were cited with disorderly conduct.

March 12th City of Waupun
Someone told police that a man and woman were fighting on the Wilcox Street and it sounded physical. Investigating officers found that the sounds were several men moving furniture up and down the stairs.

March 11th City of Oak Creek
A 53-year-old Oak Creek man was arrested for disorderly conduct at Pick 'n Save after receiving a report that he was filling carts with merchandise and leaving them in odd locations throughout the store.

March 9th City of Whitefish Bay
A 40-year-old man was mailed a citation for disorderly conduct after a resident walking his dog reported the suspect threatened him verbally and also carried a hatchet in his waist band. The same man was given a warning after he yelled and swore at another resident, again, displaying his hatchet in the process. Two days later, police received a report of the same man pounding on a car. A short time later, the man surrendered his hatchet to police.

COOL KIDS, COOL JAZZ AND LEN NELSON, TOO

Join The Rockin' Apple's Len Nelson Thursday, March 24th for JAzz Night at the Fox Cities Performing Arts Center. It's a concert featuring four area high school jazz ensembles and legendary jazz vocalist Steve March Torme.
The high school bands from Appleton North, Appleton East, Oshkosh West and Little Chute all participated in the Junior Achievement JAzz Night program and will have their cd available for purchase at the show.
Len volunteered to mentor the North High kids, so come and see how they managed to get through his teaching to totally kick butt on the horns.
There's even a chance to attend a pre-show reception with New Orleans-style food and music!
For tickets, click here.
Proceeds benefit JA programs and the individual school jazz bands.

SLAINTE! NEW TOASTS FOR ST. PADDY'S DAY!

1) May the road rise up to meet you;
May the wind be always at your back.
And should you drink too much and pass out
May your friends stick nothing in your crack.

2) Here's to having drinks with a group of friends.
May the beer never stop flowing.
And here's hoping that Scott Walker
Never tries to put a ban on...collective bar going.

3) May the shots of whiskey be as plentiful
As a politicians lies.
And may the beer always flow as fast
As tears from Jay Cutler's eyes.

4) Life is a difficult road to travel
Full of pot holes and obstructions.
Here's to your life having fewer obstacles
Than this summer's highway 41 reconstruction.

5) May you have a belly full of beer this St. Paddy's.
And some whiskey in your brain.
It's the next best thing to have pumping through your body
Than tigers blood in your veins.

6) Should you see something wee and small this St. Paddy's Day,
That you'll never be able to forget.
I pray to God it is a leprechaun
And not a text from a Quarterback named Brett.

ST. PATRICK’S DAY PICK UP LINES

ST. PATRICK'S DAY PICK UP LINES

10. Hey baby, you make my shamrock shake.

9. Why don't you be like St. Patrick and drive the snake out of my pants?

8. I’m hoping to get lucky with a real blonde so would you lift up your skirt and show me if you have a pot o' gold.

7. You make my pants want to get up and Riverdance.

6. I understand you're catholic, so pull down my zipper and I'll introduce you to my holy trinity.

5. Your name must be Danny Boy, cause your pipe is calling me. (for use by straight women or gay men only!)

4. Wanna pet my Irish setter. You're making him stand at attention.

3. You make me feel like I'm the Republic of Ireland because since I started looking at you, my penis is Dublin.

2. Top of the morning. Wanna screw?

1. Forget the wearin' o' the green and let's get right to the wearin' of your ass like a hat!

VIDEO OF 2006 ALABAMA LEPRECHAUN SIGHTING

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nda_OSWeyn8

TED THOMPSON AND TALKING HEADS DAVID BYRNE-SEPERATED AT BIRTH?

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 3.14.11

March 9th Village of Wittenberg
Police responded to a call from an employee of the Wittenberg Telephone Company who reported they had no shovel with which to shovel their walk after the previous day’s snowstorm. The employee indicated that they saw a neighbor shoveling his walk with what appeared to be their shovel. Police contacted the shoveler and were able to get the shovel returned to its rightful owners.

March 10th City of Shawano
A resident on Madison Way called police to report a woman turned up at her patio door and repeatedly rapped on the window. The woman then took off her pants and left them outside the patio doors.

March 1st City of Whitefish Bay
A woman on East Sylvan Avenue called police to report a 56-year-old man who approached her about 2 p.m.. The man asked the woman if he could shovel her walk, take her to dinner and cut her hair. He left saying he'd return at 7 p.m. with his business card.

March 6th City of Oshkosh
A 27-year-old woman was arrested for theft after she rented a hotel room on South Washburn Street for two nights. When she checked out of the room, it was discovered she stole two comforters off the beds and a toilet paper dispenser.

February 16th City of Germantown
Police responded to a call from Germantown High School where a 15-year-old boy had dumped a container of milk on another student’s head.

February 22nd City of Stevens Point
Police responding to a fender bender found sunflower seeds scattered inside one of the cars. The 47-year-old woman driving the car confessed to police that she had been eating sunflower seeds just before the crash.

March 6th City of West Allis
Two men, ages 31 and 25, were thrown out of Crazy Horse Gentleman's Club and then assaulted by three unknown men. One of the victims told police that, during the assault, he had a "rotten tooth knocked loose".

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 3.11.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week...whomever's been sending anonymous death threats to the 18 Republican senators since they voted to strip public workers of their collective bargaining rights...and whomever has been sending anonymous death threats to the 14 Democratic senators since they fled the state in an effort to stall a vote on the bill. Obviously, it's a really hot button issue with deeply felt emotions on both sides. But death threats? Really? You think that’s the answer?

So,

For not understanding that this is not some third world country where political decisions are decided by who has the biggest gun but rather, this is America where political decisions are decided by who has the bigger wallet.

For thinking our problems in Madison can be solved with psychotic behavior when clearly what is needed is anti-psychotic medications.

And for threatening to take the lives of Wisconsin state senators. Seriously? Do you really think if they had lives…they would be Wisconsin State Senators? Have you seen these people? If they weren’t Wisconsin state senators they would probably be living in caves, foraging for grubs and learning to scratch their names in the dirt with sticks. Threatening to take a Wisconsin State Senator's life is like threatening to like threatening to take Paris Hilton's virginity, Charlie Sheen's sanity or Vern Troyer's basketball trophies.

We are proud to name whomever has been sending death threats to Wisconsin State Senators as this week's Rick and Len Show...Weenies of the Week.

PRETTY WOMAN/UGLY GUY

Miljenko Parserisas Bukovic, a 56-year-old newspaper seller, revealed his inked artwork in a photo shoot in Valparaiso city. He has so far spent over $80,000 for the 82 tattoos. The newspaper vendor's obsession with tattoos of Roberts started after he watched her in Erin Brockovich.

WINNING RECIPES WITH CHARLIE SHEEN

Charlie Sheen's Winning Recipes from Charlie Sheen

http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/5cwg

FOX-DISH DISPUTE TOP TEN LIST

This week, Dish Network subscribers lost FOX 11 in a dispute between WLUK's owners and the satellite provider. Most people assume it's all about money. However, I've heard that Dish Network is looking for certain non-monetary concessions from FOX 11.

DISH NETWORKS DEMANDS FROM FOX 11

10. The station must agree to no longer broadcast images of Tom Milbourn during hours when small children or Dish Network customers with low gag thresholds are watching.

9. Must agree to compensate any cable viewer whose television is damaged by their confused dog dry humping it during audition rounds of American Idol.

8. Must add 50 African-American reporters in effort to balance out the sheer, extreme ultra-whiteness of Pete Petoniak.

7. During Packer post game shows, must provide competent professional translator to inform Dish Network viewers what the hell Johnnie Gray is talking about.

6. Must make show Living With Amy more interesting by each week, having a different Green Bay Correctional Facility convicted sex offender actually live with Amy.

5. Dish Network customers who become contestants on Wheel of Fortune must be allowed to purchase vowels at 80% of the market value.

4. FOX 11 must agree to, each week, randomly draw a name of a Dish Network subscriber who will be given a chance to use a large sock of manure to try to slap that stupid, grin off Drew Smith's face.

3. Dish Network subscribers will be e-mailed the correct answers to all Jeopardy questions at least 24 hours before broadcasts so they can memorize them and look smart when watching show with non Dish Network customer friends.

2. The station must agree to cover all funeral expenses of Dish Network subscribers who die of boredom during local Packer post game show.

1. Good Day Wisconsin will no longer be allowed to call itself Good Day Wisconsin on days that clearly suck the big one. (like today!)

KYLE KINANE FROM THE SKYLINE JOINS US FRIDAY!

Kyle Kinane, who is headlining this week at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton will join us Friday morning at 8. VERY funny stuff! If you don't know what "sunflowering" is, check out the clip below to find out!

Call 920-734-JOKE to make your reservations or just click here and order your tickets on-line at Skyline's new website!

Comedy Central's Jokes.com
Tags: Jokes,Joke of the Day,Funny Jokes

SPECIAL WAPL DISCOUNT TO SEE LEN IN CELEBRITY AUTOBIOGRAPY AT THE MEYER THEATER!

Click here to get a big discount on tickets to see Len in the show Celebrity Autobiography at the Meyer Theater in Green Bay. Tickets are normally $34 each. However, WAPL listeners can get them for just $20 by entering WAPL (all capitals!) where it asks for a "promotion code".

Actors and comics will read passages that run the gamut from the "poetry" of Suzanne Somers to the shocking "romance tips" from Tommy Lee.

Len will be reading passages from the autobiographies of Kenny Loggins, Britney Spears, Burt Reynolds or Loni Anderson and more!

Don't miss the show the New York Daily News says will "make you weep with laughter" this Saturday night at the beautiful Meyer Theater in Green Bay.

NEW JOBS FOR CHARLIE SHEEN

Now that Charlie Sheen has been fired from Two and a Half Men, here are some new job ideas.

APPLETON DIRECTOR OF PUBLIC WORKS
By Charlie's own admission he was "bangin' seven-gram rocks" of cocaine and "finishing them", and anyone who can get rid of that much white powder that fast would have to be able to do a better job at snow removal than the guy currently in that job.

CHICAGO BEARS QUARTERBACK COACH
If anyone needs a transfusion of tiger's blood and Adonis DNA, it's Jay Cutler.

WAPL MORNING SHOW HOST
If only requirement is the ability to babble incoherent gibberish, he may be the only person suited to do that even better than Rick or Len.

FAKE MADISON PROTESTER
If Governor Walker again considers hiring some "troublemakers" to infiltrate the protests, he'd be hard pressed to find one who could make more trouble than Charlie.

WFRV NEWS ANCHOR
Pair Charlie with Tom Zalaski because the only thing more interesting that a show hosted by a guy who thinks he's a "total bitchin' rock star from Mars" is a show hosted by two guys who think they are "total bitchin' rock star from Mars". (and that's "winning"!)

WISCONSIN STATE BUDGET DIRECTOR
You'd have to be crazy or high to want that job. Why not hire a guy who is both?

WISCONSIN DEMOCRATIC SENATOR
Charlie says he can endure anything because he's been to hell, which is virtually no different than weeks hiding in Rockford, Illinois.

WIN TICKETS TO CELEBRITY AUTOBIOGRAPHY

The show Celebrity Autobiography is coming to the Meyer Theater in Green Bay this Saturday. Check out this video from Nightline that shows some of the dozens of different celebrities who have participated in this show in other cities. Click here to get your tickets now!

Len will be the local celebrity that will be part of the show.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joUn6XwY0Dk

WHO GETS TO SUCK OUT THE VENOM?

Orit Fox, the Israeli Pamela Anderson, got bitten on the boob by a snake this past week. Fox was performing with the snake, pretending to kiss it, when the animal retaliated with it's own "kiss". Check out the video here.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77Oq6usDGjg

Rick and Len do Punta Cana

It has only taken me 5 days to be able to blog something from the Dominican Republic...but HOLA!

We are having some great times with 126 of our Rockin' Apple friends. The Catelonia Bavaro Resort is absolutely fantastic with the caveat that we have had a few technical issues. But then again, it wouldn't be a WAPL International Incident if everything went off without a hitch. Cerveza makes it better, though!

Today was Len's 50th birthday and he spent it like on old fart. Do the show, play golf, take a nap. Awesome. Now get off my lawn!

This morning Len, at his daughter's request, donned some "fairy wings" she stashed in his suitcase and skipped around the broadcast area. His 12-year-old instructed him to "embrace your inner fairy." So he did in very fairy-ish fashion. What we won't do for the show!

Every one of our seven International Incident trips has been spectacular...but this one is shaping up to be the best yet. Wish you could all be here. Maybe next year...?

SHANE MAUSS...IN THE HOUSE!

His special on Comedy Central recently debuted and he's making a triumphant return to Wisconsin. He's Shane Mauss and he's so funny, Rick and Len had to flee the country this week just to avoid being so soundly outclassed.

Shane will join Ross Maxwell in the studio from 9 to 10 Friday morning as he holds down the fort until Rick and Len find away to sneak back into the U.S. of A.

Make your reservations to see Shane between now and Saturday at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton by calling 920-734-JOKE. Thursday night is WAPL Night with 2 for 1 admission!
http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/events/aspen/next/Fishing