Now that Charlie Sheen has been fired from Two and a Half Men, here are some new job ideas.
APPLETON DIRECTOR OF PUBLIC WORKS
By Charlie's own admission he was "bangin' seven-gram rocks" of cocaine and "finishing them", and anyone who can get rid of that much white powder that fast would have to be able to do a better job at snow removal than the guy currently in that job.
CHICAGO BEARS QUARTERBACK COACH
If anyone needs a transfusion of tiger's blood and Adonis DNA, it's Jay Cutler.
WAPL MORNING SHOW HOST
If only requirement is the ability to babble incoherent gibberish, he may be the only person suited to do that even better than Rick or Len.
FAKE MADISON PROTESTER
If Governor Walker again considers hiring some "troublemakers" to infiltrate the protests, he'd be hard pressed to find one who could make more trouble than Charlie.
WFRV NEWS ANCHOR
Pair Charlie with Tom Zalaski because the only thing more interesting that a show hosted by a guy who thinks he's a "total bitchin' rock star from Mars" is a show hosted by two guys who think they are "total bitchin' rock star from Mars". (and that's "winning"!)
WISCONSIN STATE BUDGET DIRECTOR
You'd have to be crazy or high to want that job. Why not hire a guy who is both?
WISCONSIN DEMOCRATIC SENATOR
Charlie says he can endure anything because he's been to hell, which is virtually no different than weeks hiding in Rockford, Illinois.