NEW PHONE RULES FOR SCOTT WALKER
1. Even if you do have Prince Albert in the can, under no circumstances should you reveal that information o an unknown caller over the phone. Nor should you let him out. He's probably in there for a good reason. Perhaps diarrhea. Or maybe he's masturbating.
2. Not matter what instructions you receive from a power company employee who is attempting to ascertain whether or not your refrigerator is presently running, DO NOT attempt to catch it. You are the governor of a major Midwestern state and your time is too valuable. That's what you have a lieutenant governor for.
3. Even though a phone caller may be persistent, do not allow them to talk you into using the State Capitol public address system to seek the whereabouts of Amanda Huggnkiss.
4. Just as with the case of Amanda Huggnkiss, before using the P.A., ask yourself, just how realistic are the chances that Mike Rotch is currently anywhere to be found in the Capitol Building?
5. Inform Mrs. Walker that the same goes for any calls she may receive asking her to conduct a search for Mike Rotch's 1st cousin Mike Hunt.
6. No matter how much money the billionaire Jablowme brother's donated to your campaign, do not take a call from their son Heywood.