WEENIE OF THE WEEK 2.25.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...Governor Scott Walker's chief of staff, Keith Gilkes. Gilkes is the man who signed off on setting up the phone call between the governor and the blogger who claimed to be billionaire financier David Koch which, of course, turned out to be a prank. Gilkes failed to recognize the call as phony, even when the blogger told him he’d have to talk to the governor using the online service Skype which of course, allowed him to avoid caller I.D.. Gilkes didn't even smell a rat when the fake Koch told him he didn't have a cell phone because, "My g-damn maid, Maria, put my phone in the washer. I'd have her deported, but she works for next to nothing."

So,

For being the biggest sucker American politics has seen since Monica Lewinsky's wriggled out from under Clinton's desk.

For setting up the call between the fake Koch and Governor Walker despite there being more red flags than you’d see at a May Day parade in Moscow.

For helping Walker embarrass himself and become the butt of jokes throughout both the state and nation, something, traditionally, Wisconsin Governors have always done without any assistance.

We are proud to name Keith Gilkes, Governor Walker’s Chief of Staff as this week’s Rick and Len Show…WEENIE OF THE WEEK.

DARRYL LENOX BACK WITH RICK AND LEN!

He's smart! He's funny! He sometimes sounds like Morgan Freeman! He's Darryl Lenox and he's back at the Skyline Comedy Cafe through Saturday night.

See Darryl tonight, WAPL Night and get 2 for 1 admission. Call 920-734-JOKE to make your reservation.

And check him out Friday morning from 8 to 9 on the Rick and Len Show. Always a joy to have Darryl in the house!

Careful, language and subject matter of clip may not be suitable for work...unless of course you work in a whorehouse or something.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6EqJrZ4AKc

NEW TELEPHONE RULES FOR THE GOVERNOR'S MANSION

NEW PHONE RULES FOR SCOTT WALKER

1. Even if you do have Prince Albert in the can, under no circumstances should you reveal that information o an unknown caller over the phone. Nor should you let him out. He's probably in there for a good reason. Perhaps diarrhea. Or maybe he's masturbating.

2. Not matter what instructions you receive from a power company employee who is attempting to ascertain whether or not your refrigerator is presently running, DO NOT attempt to catch it. You are the governor of a major Midwestern state and your time is too valuable. That's what you have a lieutenant governor for.

3. Even though a phone caller may be persistent, do not allow them to talk you into using the State Capitol public address system to seek the whereabouts of Amanda Huggnkiss.

4. Just as with the case of Amanda Huggnkiss, before using the P.A., ask yourself, just how realistic are the chances that Mike Rotch is currently anywhere to be found in the Capitol Building?

5. Inform Mrs. Walker that the same goes for any calls she may receive asking her to conduct a search for Mike Rotch's 1st cousin Mike Hunt.

6. No matter how much money the billionaire Jablowme brother's donated to your campaign, do not take a call from their son Heywood.

IT'S HARD TO GET HEAT FROM A FIRESIDE CHAT WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A FIRE

SURPRISES IN LAST NIGHT'S FIRESIDE CHAT BY GOVERNOR WALKER

10. To demonstrate the direness of the state's financial situation, delivered the speech wearing only an old barrel.

9. Made a couple jokes about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in what is believed to be an attempt to land the hosting job for next year’s Golden Globes.

8. Announced plan to lure Democratic senators back to the state by promising them a free rub and tug at Appleton's Heavenly Touch Massage Parlor.

7. Delivered the speech after being carried into the Governor’s office in a large fiberglass egg.

6. Despite calling it a "fireside chat", the only thing burning was his intense man love for Senate Majority leader Scott Fitzgerald.

5. He inadvertently kept referring to the Wisconsin 14 as the Dave Clark 5.

4. Revealed the real reason he left college without a degree was an intense allergy to sheepskin.

3. Admitted that due to lack of funds, his plan to acquire an actual personality had to be put on the back burner for another two years.

2. While there was no actual fire during his "Fireside Chat", after finishing the speech he did spend about a hour toasting marshmallows over a large pile of burning union contracts.

1. He admitted for the first time that the real cause of the deficit is he bet a billion on the Steelers in the Super Bowl.

A REALLY AMAZING RACE!

Jerry Price from Plymouth is participating in a once in a century event called The World Race from New York to Paris.

To learn more about Jerry and the Price Race team, and to hear the song written and recorded for him by area music legend Dave Steffen, click here.

ILLINOISED!

THINGS WISCONSIN SENATE DEMOCRATS DID THIS WEEKEND WHILE HIDING IN ILLINOIS

10. Being Democrats, played rousing game of pin the tail on each other.

9. Wandered the streets wearing their new Packer Super Bowl gear just to annoy the locals.

8. Did massive amounts of blow and locked a porn star in a closet, unless, of course, I’m confusing them with Charlie Sheen.

7. Not sure, but I bet it looked like one of those Career Builder ads with a bunch of monkey's working together in an office.

6. Tried to play late night game of Truth or Dare until they realized they are politicians so none of them know what "truth" is.

5. Laid in the dark and told each other stories about scary things like ghosts, monsters and Republican State Senator Mike Ellis' hair.

4. Abandoned their Hide and Seek game to stand on the state border where they challenged their Republican colleagues to join them in Illinois during an interstate game of Red Rover. (Red Rover, Red Rover, Frank Lasee come over!)

3. Stayed up late getting the crap scared out of them watching horror films like Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street and a documentary about the 2010 midterm elections.

2. Prank called Governor Walker. Asked if his refrigerator was running and if it was, would he consider replacing it with a more energy efficient model that would save the state enough money to fund the state workers' insurance plan.

1. Same thing everyone does when they visit Illinois. Pay the frickin' tolls and get P.O.d at the driving of the g-damn FIBs.

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 2.21.11

February 16th City of Oshkosh
A 23-year-old man was cited for retail theft after he was caught trying to leave the store with a package of needles he had not pair for. The man admitted to police that had grabbed the needles off the shelf before going into the restroom and using them to pierce his own lip.

February 16th Village of Bellevue
A 61-year-old Wal-Mart cashier was fired after she was caught on camera stealing $20 from a register and eating bags of M&Ms while working.

February 14th Town of Grand Rapids, WI
Police received a report from an Abby Lane resident that someone damaged a snowman they had made in their yard.

February 12th City of Waupun
A woman said someone has been throwing a tire in the middle of the railroad tracks. She has moved it twice now, but someone keeps moving it back.

February 11th Village of Winneconne
A 57-year-old Winneconne woman called police to report finding a harassing letter from an unidentified neighbor in her mailbox. The letter, signed by a "very disgusted and angry neighbor", criticized the woman for walking her three Shih Tzus unleashed and not cleaning up after them. In the letter, the neighbor threatened to take video images of the woman and turn them in to authorities. Police responded by telling the woman...to clean up after her dogs.

February 10th City of Brookfield
Police were called to a clothing store where an intoxicated man reportedly struck a manager in the face with a plastic bag containing a hat.

February 13th City of Brookfield
A 46-year-old man was cited for misuse of an emergency number for calling 911 to report that a restaurant refused to deliver pizza to his house.

January 28th City of Oshkosh
Police investigated a retail theft on South Koeller Street where an 18-year-old woman was caught stealing clothing. The woman told officers she had no money and needed the clothes for her baby. From an examination of the stolen merchandise, she apparently has a very large baby since most the stolen clothes were the same size as those worn by the mother.

February 8th City of Greenfield
A 22-year-old man was cited for possession of heroin after he passed out using the drug in the bathroom...of the brain injury unit at Mount Carmel Nursing Home.

February 13th City of Beaver Dam
A woman reported that someone walked into her home on East Circle Drive the night before and took an aspirin from her pill box.

January 26th City of Oshkosh
A caller notified police of seeing a car leave the road and crash into a ditch on West Ninth Avenue. When police arrived on the scene, the driver told them, "I'm drunk. I was driving reckless at least 14,000 miles per hour and I'm in Appleton."

February 16th City of Portage
A 36-year-old man was arrested for violating an absolute sobriety condition of a misdemeanor criminal bond after police received a report that he was drunk and throwing snowballs.

February 14th Town of Saratoga, WI
A woman called police to report someone entered her home… and stole her fish tank.

February 13th City of Waupun
A woman on Reids Drive called to request police assistance. She told them her parents and her oldest brother were visiting her home and they won’t leave.

NOBODY CAN EAT JUST ONE!

Check out this video to learn the real meaning of the term "butt munch".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RM4se7IL4wU

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D ASK THIS QUESTION BUT...

Which of these pets do you think look sexiest in their lingerie?

SEE JAMIE FAITH EDMUNSON AT MANTOWN!

She looks like just your average Packer fan! This is Jamie Faith Edmundson, one of our judges for the Hairy Back contest at Mantown today at Shopko Hall. Stop by the WAPL broadcast site by 5:30 and you could still be in the contest!

WELCOME TO KOWA-KOW NAA.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGcQCtFlENA

NOT TOO MANY GUYS HAVE BEEN ON ELLEN. BUT CLAY MATTHEWS IS NO ORDINARY GUY!

BULL SCHMITT!

Just over three years ago, Len and I approached Green Bay Mayor Jim Schmitt about changing a city street name to McCarthy's Way to show our support to the coach and the team as they prepared to play in the NFC championship game against the New York Giants. The mayor did so temporarily.

Now at this week's Return to Titletown, His Honor unveiled his big idea. Change a street to McCarthy's Way. Sound familiar? And did he give us a mention? A tip of the hat? A nod of the head? A go f yourself? No. Nothin'! So, here's our list of....

OTHER IDEAS OF OURS GREEN BAY MAYOR JIM SCHMITT CAN TAKE.

10. Spend a million dollars of tax payer money to buy Jerry Lee Lewis' favorite Tilt-A-Whirl.

9. Raise money for city by selling permits for an annual month long FIB Hunting Season.

8. Punish anyone caught scalping Return to Titletown tickets for anything over face value by making them sit through a speech by Tom Zalaski.

7. Replace Green Bay City Council with pack of poo flinging monkeys and award a cash prize if anybody notices a change.

6. Create amusing photo op at next year's frigid Return to Titletown bash by sticking your tongue on the Lombardi Trophy. We double dog dare you.

5. Switch jobs with Clay Matthews for a week and let him show those pussies on the Ashwaubenon Village board who really gets to call the shot round these parts.

4. There is no number 4. Number 4 spent Super Bowl Sunday watching the game on he TV in his hog barn.

3. To enable more fans to participate, hold next year's Return to Titletown Celebration in someplace larger than Lambeau Field like maybe inside one of Tom Milbourn's hats.

2. Stop making the inability to organize a one man rush to a 12-hole outhouse as a requirement to work for the Green Bay Police Department.

1. Honor the player who most helped the Packers win the NFC Championship game by renaming a street Jay Cutler Boulevard.

SITTON: ON TOP OF THE WORLD

Josh Sitton following his topless belly-flop in the snow at the Return to Titletown Celebration. If any of you have a good photo or video of the actually belly-flop, please send us a copy!

COOL SUPER BOWL PARTY PIC

One of our listeners, Jackie Gaertig, sent us this awesome pic from a Super Bowl party she attended in Dallas.

Jackie writes, "Thought you guys would like one of my picture's I took from the Private After Super Bowl Party in our hotel with the players, select staff, and family's. Kid Rock on top of the turn tables scratchin beats for a few mins while smoking a huge fat cigar and wearing a cheese head.This was awesome! Kid Rock played for us for like 3hours".

AARON MEETS DAVE

SUPER BOWL QUIZ

The best part of watching the game on a new 72-inch-flat screen TV was:
a. seeing the Packers win in high definition.
b. hearing the on field crunching of players colliding in surround sound stereo.
c. using the mute button during the Black Eyed Peas.

The most difficult part of the game for most Packer fans was:
a. seeing Donald Driver and Charles Woodson go down to injury.
b. coping with the unnerving suspense of such a close contest.
c. driving to work this morning while still legally drunk.

When Charles Woodson said it was "unbearably painful" he was talking about what?
a. his broken collarbone.
b. having to watch the 2nd half from the sidelines.
c. Fergie singing Sweet Child of Mine during the half time show.

My favorite commercial last night was for the upcoming animated Kung Fu Panda sequel because:
a. I enjoyed the first film.
b. I love Jack Black.
c. That panda was the only bear in the Super Bowl.

According to experts, what was most badly mangled in last night's game?
a. Donald Driver's ankle.
b. Charles Woodson's clavicle.
c. Francis Scott Key's Star Spangled Banner.

Hundreds of fans who traveled to Dallas for the game were stiffed by:
a. unscrupulous brokers selling counterfeit tickets.
b. the NFL who over sold the venue.
c. Ben Roethlisberger in a bathroom after the game.

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 2.7.11

January 4th Village of Brown Deer
A woman at the Brown Deer Village Hall called police to report someone took her 24-ounce bottle of soda from the refrigerator in the employee break room. Police arrested a 19-year-old man for the crime. The man admitted to police that that he had taken the soda but said he had been told it was OK to take it.

January 27th City of Waupun
Police confronted a man who attacked a snowplow with a shovel. Police say the 63-year-old man was shoveling his driveway on Wilcox Court when a Waupun Public Works snowplow drove by filling his driveway with more snow. The man reportedly became upset and ran after the truck striking it with his shovel. Officers agreed to not cite the man because he apologized to the driver for hitting his plow. The plow did not sustain any damage.

January 23rd Calumet County
Police received a call from a location near County Highway KK and Military Road. The caller was in the trunk of a car and was not sure how he got there. He told police he thought he might been in the trunk of his own vehicle but wasn’t sure. He stated that he had been out drinking the previous night and that may have contributed to him being in the car trunk.

January 29th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A woman on Eighth Street called police to report seeing a boy and a dog sitting on a snow bank.

January 3rd City of Brookfield
A 34-year-old man is being investigated for disorderly conduct after lashing out at a referee at Brookfield Soccer. The man is accused of losing his temper when the referee asked him to wear shin guards during a game. The man reportedly responded to the request by cursing at the referee, throwing the referee's personal items into a garbage can and spitting on them.

January 27th City of Mequon
Police cited a 14-year-old boy for disorderly conduct after he smashed a plant and threw a cup causing minor damage during an argument with his 17-year-old brother over peanut butter.

DOWN UNDER FAN ON TOP!

Our old friend Wayne Scullino from Sydney, Australia made it to the game in Dallas last night. By popular demand, Wayne's selling these very cool shirts. To order your own, click here.

WIN THIS SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS PLAQUE THIS WEEK ON THE RICK AND LEN SHOW!

NEW FROM THE HIGHLAND MINT!!!

Listen to the Rick and Len Show this week as we give away a number of this limited edition Packer Super Bowl Champions plaques.

Limited Edition of 5,000! Featured in a 13x16 Black Wood Frame and triple matted in team colors is an 8x10 Exclusive Collage image featuring the Super Bowl 45 Champs! Matted in the frame is a banner listing the season's opponents and results. Also matted is a 24KT Gold Plate Super Bowl Champs Coin as well as a 24KT Gold Plate Super Bowl Logo Commemorative Coin. An individually numbered Certificate of Authenticity is located between both coins. A Limited Edition of 5000 and Officially Licensed by the NFL and NFLPA.

Call 888-560-2727 or click here to order your own from the Highland Mint.

SHOOT OUT IN DALLAS!

Way back at the start of the season
Aaron Rogers made his intentions clear.
He strode into the Chamber of Commerce luncheon back in August
In Stetson hat and cowboy gear.

He was confident and cocky!
No way that he'd back down.
On February 6th he knew where he'd be.
Yes, he knew that he was Dallas bound.

Around the NFL some scoffed and others chortled.
This kind of bravado from a young cowpoke was not allowed.
They chuckled that he would be so bold.
But hey, who's laughing now?

Come this Sunday, Aaron will ditch his bolo tie and spurs
In Green and Gold he'll be festooned.
But it couldn't be more of an old fashioned Texas gun fight,
If they held it at High Noon.

At his side our trusty gunslinger,
Will have his faithful pals.
Joined by Driver, Jennings, Jones and Nelson
For the Shootout at Jerry Jones' Corral.

He'll face off against another gunfighter.
The one they call Big Ben.
Who's only here because they dropped the charges,
Or he’d be locked up in the hoosegow doing 'bout 8 to 10.

And following the kick off,
The gunfire will be live.
As Aaron uses the rifle he has for an arm
And fires off a shot to number 85.

And the passes will rain down like bullets.
Aaron's aim is most always true.
While his opponents' gunfire will be neutralized.
Thanks to the likes of numbers 21 and 52.

And when the smoke clears at the end,
With Pittsburgh's dreams of number seven killed.
You can bury all their Terrible Towels
'neath a tombstone up there upon ole' Boot Hill.

And the folks down there in Dallas,
Will have seen a true gunslinger of some renown.
And let the word spread far and wide.
There's a new sheriff in this town!

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 2.4.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...Robert from Sturgeon Bay who Wednesday took the time this week to write an e-mail to the radio station complaining that WAPL has been carrying the Packer games all season. Writes Robert, "I would like to comment that I dislike the fact that you air the football games such as the Packers game on WAPL. In my thoughts WAPL is a music station, so PLAY MUSIC! Don’t air football games". Robert goes on to air his mistaken belief that our ratings are "spiraling downward" and he apparently believes that this is because of us airing Packer games. Because if there's anything Wisconsinites don't care about, it’s the Green Bay Packers.

So,

For not understanding that on game day, there's a lot more people around these parts who prefer to back the Pack over Back in Black.

For not comprehending that there are considerably fewer area residents who when the Packers are playing would rather listen to us play Stairway to Heaven than listen to the Pack demolish the Steelers' so called Stairway to Seven.

And for being anti-football in Wisconsin on Super Bowl week which is sort of like trying to start a DARE Chapter at Charlie Sheen's house.

We are proud to name Robert from Sturgeon Bay (who is entitled to his own opinion, just as he's entitled to change the station) as this week's Rick and Len Show... Weenie of the Week.

SEE CY FOR FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cy Amundson is rocking the Skyline Comedy Cafe this week. FREE ADMISSION ALL THIS WEEK IF YOU'RE WEARING YOUR PACKER GEAR!!!!!!! And a dollar off every drink you order! Holy crap! That's what I say! Call and make your reservations at 920-734-JOKE (5653).

Cy will bring his twisted sense of humor to the Rick and Len Show Friday morning at 8! Be there!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jy18jv3EuEQ&feature=related

ODD ODDS FOR THE BIG GAME!

Simply betting on the Packers to win on Sunday is like betting on the sun to rise in the east! Here are the odds for some more interesting wagers to make.

Odds of you wishing your TV set had a bigger screen during a big play. 3 to 1.
Odds of you wishing your TV set didn't have audio while Joe Buck, Troy Aikman or Terry Bradshaw are talking: Even money.

Odds that after celebrating running another pick back for a touchdown, B.J. Raji will be signed to a long term contract: 4 to 1.
Odds that after celebrating running another pick back for a touchdown, B.J. Raji will be signed to appear on Dancing With the Stars: Even money.

Odds of Aaron Rogers throwing the ball to a receiver in the end zone on a perfectly called play by Mike McCarthy: 2 to 1.
Odds of you throwing a half empty beer at your TV on a perfectly awful called play by Mike McCarthy: Even money.

Odds of Aaron Rogers injuring a knee while attempting a quarterback sneak in the 2nd quarter: 100 to 1.
Odds of Jay Cutler injuring a knee while attempting to order a Zima at whatever gay bar he’s watching the game from: Even money.

Odds of Packers Defensive lineman Howard Green celebrating a Packer victory after the game with a hot dog: 6 to 1.
Odds of his wiener being longer than Brett Favre's: Even money.

Odds off Clay Matthews grabbing Ben Roethlisberger and slamming him on the ground: 2 to 1.
Odds of Ben doing the same thing to a date after the game: Even money.

PETA'S SURE TO BE REJECTED SUPER BOWL AD

May not be safe for work!