Wednesday, December 29, 2010

LACHLAN RINGS OUT THE OLD AND RINGS IN THE NEW AT SKYLINE~

Lachlan Patterson will be bringing a boatload of funny to the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton this week.

Special New Years Eve hours, 7 and 9:30.


And don't forget Thursday night is WAPL night with 2 for 1 admission! Call 920-734-JOKE to make your reservations.

End 2010 or start 2011 with a laugh with this very funny guy at the Skyline!


http://www.rooftopcomedy.com//watch/FavoriteSexualPositions

BEST MUG SHOTS OF THE YEAR #3

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

2 HEADLINERS FOR THE PRICE OF HALF!

This week at the Skyline Comedy Cafe you get TWO headliners. Two national touring comics from our area return for the Holidays and share the stage this week. It's our pals Mike Merryfield AND Rob Brackenridge! That's two for the price of one EXCEPT tomorrow night (Thursday) is WAPL night with two for one admission. That's 2 comics for the price of 1/2!

Not only are they both very funny, but every minute spent at the Skyline Comedy Cafe this weekend is one less minute spent with your in-laws! Make your reservations at 920-734-JOKE (5653).


http://www.rooftopcomedy.com//watch/MySexyWisconsinAccent


http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/DaleEarnhardt

BEST MUG SHOTS OF THE YEAR #10

Monday, December 20, 2010

BEST MUG SHOTS OF THE YEAR #12

APPLETON GIRL GOES FOR PLAYBOY TITLE!


The lovely lass you see here is Appleton's own Katie Kruz, who is vying to be Playboy's Miss Social.
It's an online vote on Facebook. She'll be on The Rick and Len Show Tuesday, Dec. 21 at about 9 am. The voting is open, so click here to cast your ballot for Katie! The more often you hot the site, the more votes you get!

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 12.20.10

December 5th City of Neenah
A man reported to police that he was leaving his residence on Sixth Street because he and his wife had a verbal argument during which she threw a stuffed Winnie the Pooh doll at him.

December 7th City of Mayville
A woman reported to police that a 74-year-old woman gave her a bad check for an order of Tupperware.

December 9th City of Beaver Dam
Police received a report of "bad words" written on the ice on the pond at Swan City Park. Police decided to leave the bad words on the ice since they believed the snow would be covering them shortly.

November 30th City of Neenah
A man called police to report his wife was freaking out and running around the neighborhood.

December 12th Village of Suamico
A Pulaski High School student was fired from Subway on Velp Avenue after the owner allegedly found him with a pipe to smoke marijuana that had been made from a sink faucet nozzle and the store's plastic sauce dispenser.

December 14th City of Beaver Dam
A 14-year-old boy called police to report that the person he was shoveling for on Denning Avenue yelled at him and refused to pay him as much as he was expecting.

December 8th City of Neenah
A homeowner on Bosworth Lane reported that someone stole a white bear on skis. The culprit left behind the skis and one of the bear's legs.

December 15th City of Sheboygan
A man reported finding a 45-pound gray pygmy goat lying in the snow. If you have recently lost your pygmy goat, Sheboygan Police would like to talk you.

November 29th Town of Menasha
A man reported that his wife had struck a mailbox on Kees Road with their Chevrolet Uplander but she was too excited to report it.

Friday, December 17, 2010

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 12.17.10

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...the naked postal worker of Whitefish Bay. For those of you who missed the story, the 52-year-old suburban Milwaukee letter carrier delivered the mail bare ass naked to an office in "stressed out".

So,

For not grasping that when you deliver mail for a living, the only sack your customers want to see is the one with the letters in it.

For not understanding that if he truly wanted to cheer the woman up all he really had to do was just stop delivering her bills.

For apparently thinking USPS stands for United States Pervert Service.

And for not realizing that being approached by a strange naked man in your office is about as likely to lower your stress level as a six-pack of Hardee's Thick Burgers is to lower your cholesterol.

We are proud to name the naked Whitefish Bay mailman as this week's Rick and Len...Weenie of the Week!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

MOSHE KASHER

Comic Moshe Kasher is at the Skyline Comedy Cafe this week. (In fact, tonight is WAPL night, so you get two for 1 admission by calling 920-739-JOKE. Full, but still very reasonable price, Friday and Saturday).

We'll meet Moshe for the first time Friday morning about 8. What do we need to know about him before he comes by/ Well, Moshe's website identifies him as being a "Comedian. Child genius. Jew. Jew comedian. OB-GYN". I don't believe met the likes of him before.

Here's a little taste:

http://www.rooftopcomedy.com//watch/FindingTheRightCompliment

YOU'D THINK THE GUY WHO INVENTED FACEBOOK WOULD HAVE A BETTER FACE!

SIGNS YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BE TIME MAGAZINE'S PERSON OF THE YEAR.

If the highlight of your year was getting locked in a closet by a sitcom star who’d done enough coke for two and a half men...you're probably not Time Magazine's person of the year.

If your marriage to America's sweetheart and Best Actress winner came to an abrupt end when it was revealed that you've been banging a bosomy, white trash internet model who’s covered in more red ink than the accounting ledgers at Playboy...you're probably not Time Magazine's person of the year.

If during a police stop in Las Vegas, it was revealed that you've apparently been paying $900 a ounce for what you believe is high grade, Peruvian Juicy Fruit...you're probably not Time Magazine's person of the year.

If you were in and out of rehab so many times in the last 12 months, any money you had left from the movie Mean Girls went toward install a revolving door on Betty Ford Center...you're probably not Time Magazine's person of the year.

If you gave the Calumet County District Attorney's Office such a black eye...you started sending it text messages and asking it out on dates...you're probably not Time Magazine's person of the year.

If your penis, which you texted a picture of to a New York sports reporter, is revealed to be the same number of inches as the number on your jersey...you're definitely not Time Magazine's person of the year.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

PLEASE MR. POSTMAN...PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!

A Whitefish bay postal carrier says he simply wanted to cheer up a woman on his mail rounds who seemed "stressed out." But, upon further review, the postal worker says delivering the mail in the nude probably wasn’t such a good idea.

A police report says the 52-year-old man told the woman he would deliver the mail to her office in Whitefish Bay completely naked to make her laugh. He says the woman dared him to do it, so he took the dare December 4 and brought the mail wearing only a smile.

The mail carrier was arrested for lewd and lascivious behavior several days later at the North Shore Post Office. The man admitted delivering the mail naked was a stupid thing to do. Here's the top 10...

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR FROM YOUR NAKED MAILMAN.

10. I got your package right here.

9. Now this is what I call "junk" mail.

8. It may not be big but it's definitely first class.

7. This is what they mean by "special" delivery.

6. I’ve never gone postal but that doesn’t mean this thing doesn't shoot.

5. Now you see why they call us "male" men.

4. I don’t have any stamps but here's something else you can lick.

3. No, I didn't pee. That's just a little postage dew.

2. Do you want me to hold on to this for you or do you want me to stick it in your box?

1. I know this was sent Express but I bet you didn’t expect me to come this fast.

Monday, December 13, 2010

GRANDMA GOT MOLESTED A THE AIRPORT!

Here's the song we played this morning. It's by Donny Aldridge.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Qdb6wC0Iz4

WRONG! (FUNNY, BUT WRONG!)

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 12.13.10

December 6th City of Portage
Police responded to a call of a counterfeit dollar bill. Upon arrival, the officer learned the bill was not counterfeit. It was just a legitimate one dollar bill with a sticker of Santa Claus over the face of George Washington.

November 25th Village of Winneconne
A man called 911 to report his wife had gone crazy after the two of them spent time drinking at a village tavern. The 46-year-old Maple Street woman, who was highly intoxicated, told police her husband was acting weird by rebuffing her sexual advances. The 45-year-old husband, who had difficulty completing sentences, told officers his wife was acting crazy and would not leave him alone. The man told police his wife "acquires a mental illness" whenever she drinks.

December 7th City of Manitowoc
Police arrested a 50-year-old man who allegedly shoved a male family member who just had eye and hip surgery to the ground after the victim refused to give the man money to take him to his doctor’s appointment.

December 2nd City of Beaver Dam
A woman on Jefferson Street called police to report that someone drew male genitalia on her snowman in her front yard.

November 23rd City of New Berlin
Police received a report of a vehicle break-in on Rogers Drive where the thief absconded with a socket set and case of fruit punch.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

BOWIE AND BING UPDATE

Check out this updated version of David Bowie and Bing Crosby's version of the Little Drummer Boy performed by Jack Black and Jason Segal (from How I Me Your Mother). Then download the song from iTunes! All proceeds go to Blue Star Families, a a charity that aids military families.


http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1944493

Friday, December 10, 2010

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 12.10.10

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week…the Sheboygan man who had his tongue bit off by his wife. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Isn't he the victim? If anyone, shouldn’t the wife who bit off the tongue be the weenie. Well, after careful deliberation, I say "no". First off, the wife, from all accounts, suffers from some psychological problems and was probably not responsible for her actions when the incident occurred. Second, the husband knew she has psychological problems and admits he knew she was having a "manic episode' at the time of the biting. And third, in spite of this, the husband chose to enter the bathroom and French kiss his manic wife...while she was on the toilet doing her business.

So,

For not understanding that just because your wife is "dropping the puck" doesn't mean that the time for tonsil hockey has begun.

For not realizing that when your mate is "stocking the porcelain pond with brown trout" it is not the time to go fishing for love.

For not comprehending that you shouldn't go poking around in the attic when "the big brown man is knocking on your wife's back door".

And for not getting that when your wife is "negotiating the release of the chocolate hostages" it's best to just keep your own mouth shut.

We are proud to name the guy who got his tongue bit off while kissing his wife while she was on the toilet as this week's Rick and Len...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

VIRGIN MIRTH

A shrine in Champion, 16 miles north of Green Bay has been designated by the Catholic Church as a place where the Virgin Mary appeared. But that was back in 1859. A lot has changed round these parts. Here's the the top reasons:

WHY THE VIRGIN MARY SHOULD RETURN TO THE GREEN BAY AREA

10. She could wait for Elvis to also appear and they share a ride on the Zippin' Pippin.

9. She could help defeat the forces of evil and vanquish the satanic minions...when they come up to Lambeau from Chicago on January 2nd.

8. She could perform the world's greatest miracle by creating a hat big enough for Tom Milbourn.

7. What better way to observe the birth of her son than winning something nice on the Rick and Len Wheel of Christmas Wonder.

6. Maybe she could head down to Sheboygan and heal that guy's tongue.

5. If she can polish off the 93 ounce Gilbert Burger at Champion's Sports Bar she gets a free autographed picture of former Packer Gilbert Brown. (Actually, I'm not sure they're still doing that at Champion's, but don't tell her that until she eats the whole burger!)

4. Could get drivers on 41, 43, and 172 to use their directionals and drive the speed limit and that, my friends, would be a miracle.

3. She's been known to heal the lame, and what could be more lame than the WIXX morning show.

2. Just as Jesus fed the multitudes with just a loaf of bread an a couple fish, she could feed everyone at Paul's Pantry with just the meat from Guy Zima's pants.

1. It would be many locals first opportunity to see a virgin.

ADAM RICHMOND AT SKYLINE...AND WITH RICK AND LEN!

He's not just funny. He's CANADIAN funny! Adam Richmond will be on the R&L Show tomorrow morning round about 8. You should tune in!

And tonight is WAPL night at the Skyline Comedy Cafe (really, "Cafe"? What is this frickin' Paris?)in Appleton. You get 2 for 1 admission. So you better show up. Otherwise, Adam will come by tomorrow morning and bitch about how YOU weren't there and I'll take it personal and become depressed and plunge into a downward shame spiral that ends with me taking an overdose of sleeping pills on Christmas morning. All because you couldn't be bothered to go see Adam Richmond at the Skyline tonight. Thanks a lot. See you in hell!

-Rick-

Oh, here's a clip of Adam that has some language that might not be safe for work.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABCMzqvG-N8

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

PRENATAL POLE DANCING

One of the prizes on the Wheel of Christmas Wonder is the stripper po...I'm sorry, i mean the "Private Dancer" pole from ShannonsToyboy.com. Here's something you could do with it! (Caution: some language may not be safe for work!)


http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/4yj6

APOCALYPSE...NOW AT 40% SAVINGS!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGPkXqoqZA8

REASONS YOU NEED NEW JEWELRY FOR THE COMING APOCALYPSE.

7. A fine 27 jewel timepiece that’s crafted with handmade Swiss precision just what you need to keep you from being late and missing the end of the world.

6. A new ruby and ebony broach will perfectly compliment the sun turning black like ashes and the rivers running red with blood.

5. Just think of how embarrassing it would be to have Jesus return and see you wearing that cheap ass ring from Wal-Mart.

4. If I remember my bible correctly, one of the beatitudes was "Blessed are the bling-encrusted for theirs is the VIP section in Kingdom of Heaven".

3. Personalized matching rings will make it easier for you to be reunited with your soul mate in hell.

2. When the Rapture comes, god will only lift up those with purity in their hearts, goodness in their souls and one and a half carat diamonds in their ears.

1. If you're wearing a wedding ring there’s a better chance of going to heaven since god will assume you’ve already served your time in hell.

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 12-6-10

November 26th City of Menasha
Police were called to a South Oneida Street bar where a woman reportedly tripped and struck her head on a statue of Captain Morgan. (Alcohol is believed to be a factor!)

November 26th City of Beaver Dam
A man on Rosendale Street reported there was dog feces in the lobby of his building. An officer told the man he believed the feces was of human origin and also noted vandalism to a TV tray.

November 29th City of Green Bay
Police were called to a Doty Street residence where a 47-year-old man was yelling and throwing dishes. The man's girlfriend told police he was just drunk and celebrating a Chicago Bears victory.

November 11th City of Brown Deer
A male student was arrested for disorderly conduct in the parking lot of Brown Deer High School. The student reportedly took some trays from the school, placed them under his front tires, and then drove over them squealing his tires and doing multiple doughnuts. He said he just wanted to see what would happen if he drove over the trays.

November 12th Village of Bellevue
Police were called to Wal-Mart where an elderly woman reportedly drover her wheelchair into a rack of clothes rack and fled with stolen items.

Friday, December 3, 2010

WHEEL OF CHRISTMAS WONDER - WEEK 2!

The Rick and Len Show Wheel of Christmas Wonder. It's more than just iPads and stripper poles! Sure those are two of the items you could win between now and Christmas on the Wheel. but there is so much more! If you haven't checked out the (nearly) complete list if prizes, do so by clicking the able WOCW logo. (We may still add a few more items!)

Then listen to the Rick and Len Show weekday mornings from now until Christmas. When Rick and/or Len tell you call, call damn you. Dial like your life depended on it. If you win any of their goofy-ass contests, you get a spin and whatever prize comes up.

Don't miss you chances to win every weekday morning 6 to 10 here on 105.7 WAPL!

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 12.3.10

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week...all the line cutters and door rushers who on Black Friday caused problems at area businesses including (but not limited to) Toys R Us and Menard's in Grand Chute.

So,

For introducing Jerry Springer Show etiquette combined with WWE Cage Match rules to the season of peace and love.

For fighting and bickering on Black Friday when everybody was supposed to have gotten that out of their systems with their families on Thanksgiving.

For pushing and shoving, yelling and cursing and just generally engaging in behavior so rude, so uncouth, so unsettling they were only a closet and a whore away from being Charlie Sheen.

We are proud to name everybody who on Black Friday caused problems at area businesses as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIES OF THE WEEK!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

DWAYNE KENNEDY IS BACK!

He's done all the biggies. Letterman, Kimmel, Conan, the Rick and Len Show! Dwayne Kennedy returns to the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton this week. That means he' ll drop by the R&L Show on Friday morning about 8am.

Check out the always funny Dwayne Kennedy at Skyline by calling to make your reservations at 920-734-JOKE.

IT'S A CLARK GRISWALD WET DREAM

To get you into the holiday spirit, Best Week Ever Video Editor Pete Schultz has put together this fantastic compilation of over 100 crazy Christmas light displays.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/11/30/100-christmas-lights-2-minutes_n_790097.html