Monday, April 5, 2010
TASED AND CONFUSED
This weekend, the Post Crescent reported that back in February, a Waupaca police officer Tasered an 85-year-old man who wandered away from the Veteran's Home at King. We're sure the officer must have had a good excuse...or maybe even ten good excuses.
WAUPACA COP'S TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR TASERING AN 85 YEAR OLD MAN
10. Afraid the old man was going to sink his teeth into him...and they weren’t even in his mouth.
9. He thought the old man was having a heart attack and mistook the Taser for a defibrillator.
8. The man was so old he reminded the cop of Andy Rooney and who wouldn't want to Taser Andy Rooney?
7. Knew the old man was packing a powerful weapon...the unparalleled political clout of the AARP.
6. Feared the old man might have been tripping on Geritol or Metamucil.
5. Same reason Jeanne sits so far away from Rick. Didn't want to get covered in old person smell.
4. Was concerned the man had taken Viagra and wanted to subdue him without getting close enough to get an eye poked out.
3. It was a cold February day and the thought of doing something that would cause him to burn in hell seemed like a good idea at the time.
2. Who needs an excuse? Taserin' folks is fun!
1. He had already used up all his pepper spray on a disabled kid.