Calumet County District Attorney Ken "The Prize" Kratz has said he will not resign. Instead, he's taking some "medical leave". Since when has being a creepy a-hole been considered a medical condition? If that was the case, I'd be in intensive care!
Apparently, the medical condition must be his blindness that prevents him from seeing that what he did was wrong! To help, "The Prize" we've assembled these easy to recognize signs that...
IT MIGHT BE TIME TO RESIGN
If you're less popular than Ted Nugent at a PETA meeting...it might be time to resign.
If Mel Gibson has a better chance of becoming a sensitivity trainer than you have of getting re-elected...it might be time to resign.
If your presence is less appreciated than mine at an orgy...it might be time to resign.
If you have less support than Barrack Obama at a Klan rally...it might be time to resign.
If you'd have had to done what Bill Clinton did to leave a worst taste in people's mouths...it might be time to resign.
If the folks at Massengill concede that even with over 70 years of experience behind them, they've still never seen a bigger douchebag...it's definitely time to resign!!!!!!!