FOLLICLE FOLLY!

Head and Shoulders shampoo has reportedly insured the hair of their spokesman, Pittsburgh Steeler Troy Polamalu, with Lloyd's of London for $1,000,000!

Here's some other celebs with insured body parts...

LARRY KING
Has insured his testicles for 2 million dollars and can collect should he injure himself tripping over them.

ELTON JOHN
Has insured his eyes for five million dollars. One million for the right one. One million for the left one. And 3 million for the brown one.

THE CAST OF JERSEY SHORE
Wanted to take out a policy covering the parts of their bodies that best symbolizes their well earned reputation in the national media…however, not even Lloyd’s of London would insure genital herpes.

CONGRESSMAN STEVE KAGEN
Has insured his brain cells for one hundred million dollars each. Not because he’s a congressman. But because they’re just that rare.

LADY GAGA
Has taken out a 6 million dollar policy…one million for every inch of her penis. (Tommy Lee has reportedly also taken out a similar policy for 10 million dollars…and Tom Cruise for a half million dollars).

OUTGOING BP HEAD TONY HAYWARD
Has insured his colon for a million dollars which is probably wise given his history of being unable to plug holes once something comes gushing out of them.

PARIS HILTON
Has insured her nose for a million dollars. Not that it’s her trademark or anything. It’s just that’s the approximate value of the coke she has lodged in her septum at any given time.

MINNESOTA VIKINGS OWNER ZYGI WILF
Has insured his a-hole for 10 million dollars. And he’ll collect only if something happens to his a-hole that prevents it from starting all 16 games at quarterback this season.

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 8.30.10

August 23rd City of Oshkosh
Police responded to report of an altercation taking place in a van parked at Fourth Avenue and Guenther Streets. A couple who had gone out to their van an to get away from their kids and have "sexual relations" got in a fight over which one could quit smoking first. The man told police his girlfriend suddenly "went tart" and punched him in the nose.

August 24th City of Shawano
An East Schurz Street resident informed police that during an argument, her neighbor threw a tomato at her.

August 10th City of Menasha
While on patrol, an officer noticed that someone had dumped soap in the water fountain at the corner of Milwaukee and Main again. The officer found two empty bottles of dish soap floating in the water.

August 10th City of Neenah
Police cited a 24-year-old Shiocton man for shoplifting ONE condom from a department store on South Green Bay Road.

August 25th City of Shawano
A woman on South River notified police that some of the feces her neighbor threw over the fence landed on her truck.

August 17th City of Greenfield
A man in his early 20s, skinny, pale with short blond hair is sought by police after he appeared in front of George Webb naked, shaking his hips and calling out, "hey ladies!".

August 19th City of Oak Creek
Police were called to the Open Pantry where a man was seen shoplifting $125.28 worth of Starburst candy.

July 31st Village of Pulaski
Officers responded to a report of a man playing a trumpet in the men's bathroom at the Polka Grounds. The man told officers he gets better sound in the men's room.

HAY! DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!

Have you seen the video of the naked guy in the hay baler? If not, take a look!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__Co6GAaXFw&feature=player_embedded

WEENIES OF THE WEEK 08.27.10

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week...
the engineers at WBAY Channel 2, who must not have been paying much attention last night during their broadcast of the Packers game...because while viewers could see the game, what they heard coming from their TV speakers was the audio from the hit ABC TV series Wipeout.

So, for running sound from Wipeout during a game the Pack won 59 to 24, which I guess could be called inadvertent yet appropriate genius...
For running only the audio from Wipeout when any idiot knows that all you really want from that show is the pictures of Jill Wagner, the totally hot chick who interviews the contestants.

And for pissing off thousands of Packer fans, which tells me that the people at Channel 2 have no knowledge of Packer history...these people will kill your dog, for God's sake.

We are proud to name the engineers at WBAY Channel 2, or whoever was responsible for running the sound from ABC's Wipeout during the broadcast of the Packers-Colts game at Lambeau last night as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week.

BIKES, BLUES AND BBQ IN PESHTIGO!

Listen all week for your chance to score tickets to the Bikes, Blues and BBQ festival in downtown Peshtigo Friday and Saturday, August 27th and 28th. Friday night features a blues DJ and Saturday is all about live blues, including headliner Chris Aaron featuring Bobby Bryan! There are VIP packages available which include a post-concert meet and greet party with Chris and his band.
For concert details and ticket locations, click here.
For VIP party details and tickets , click here.

ROCK OUT...OF THIS WORLD!

The geeky scientists at NASA want to know what song you think they should use to wake up the astronauts on the final mission for the Space Shuttle. You can vote from a list of previously used
wake up songs or submit your own original composition. Click here to vote or upload.

UGLY PEOPLE NEED LOVE, TOO!

A British man has started a new dating website...for ugly people. He says only 15-percent of people are pretty, and they're usually not very nice. Check out The Ugly Bug Ball by clicking here.

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 8.23.10

August 18th City of Shawano
A woman called the police to report that a caller had left a message on her voice mail informing her that they urinated in her laundry soap.

August 1st City of Menasha
A man reported that someone broke the back window of his truck to steal his blood pressure monitor.

August 13th City of Brookfield
Police pulled over a 54-year-old man after he was spotted trying to change his clothes...while driving. The man told officers that he was uncomfortable in the sweaty clothing he had worn during a day in the sun at the State Fair. Police warned the man about indecent exposure and advised that he finish changing his clothes at home.

August 15th Village of Allouez
Police cited a 77-year-old woman on Libal Street for allegedly spreading butter over the exterior of a man's vehicle. The woman said the man is her tenant and doesn't pay rent, doesn't cut the grass and broke the dishwasher.

August 20th City of Shawano
Police received a report of juveniles outside of the Country Store throwing potatoes at cars.

August 10th Village of Germantown
Police pursued a man driving a white Cadillac with the back window broken out after the driver left Wal-Mart without paying for two pairs of shoes hidden in his pants. Police gave up the chase after speeds exceeded 90-miles-per-hour.

August 10th City of Mequon
A 42-year-old man was arrested for disorderly conduct after twice throwing a basketball at his neighbor and then throwing a tennis ball at the neighbor's wife. The suspect, who appeared intoxicated and denied the allegations, was reportedly angry because his neighbor cut his grass too often.

August 18th City of Beaver Dam
A man called for police assistance dealing with a group of children who would not let him drive away in his garbage truck.

August 16th City of Waupun
A man West Main Street told police a couple of kids were parked on his driveway. When he confronted them they threw cigarette butts on his lawn, and then moved to Kohl's Community Funeral Home. Investigating officers found the kids were just talking, and were unable to find any cigarette butts. The man who called police told the officers the kids just seemed to be up to something.

August 5th City of Menasha
A woman called police to report she noticed some disturbing drawings made on her driveway with washable chalk.

August 12 City of Beaver Dam
A 16-year-old girl called police to complain that while she was parked on North Spring Street, someone put sandwiches all over her car.

TOP TEN BETTER SLOGANS FOR OSHKOSH

The City of Oshkosh last week unveiled its new tourism slogan, "Oshkosh...Wisconsin's Event City."
Wow. Really? Somebody got paid for that?
If only they has consulted The Rick and Len Show first. Here's our Top Ten Better Slogans for Oshkosh.

10) Oshkosh...Pretty much riot-free since 1995.

9) Oshkosh...Why?

8) Oshkosh...More than just the landfill and prison you see from the highway.

7) Oshkosh...You can't get here from there...and you can't get there from here, either.

6) Oshkosh...Stop by. We won't tell anyone.

5) Oshkosh...Not quite as pee-stained as Fond du Lac.

4) Oshkosh... The UW. And some bars.

3) Oshkosh...Appleton's wayside.

2) Oshkosh...Country USA, EAA...and 50 other weeks.

And the number one tourism slogan for Oshkosh that's better than "Wisconsin's Event City..."
Oshkosh...What happens in Oshkosh stays in Oshkosh. Because no one gives a rat's ass about what you did in Oshkosh.

PIPING HOT AC/DC, QUEEN AND DEEP PURPLE

Check out this video of the Red Hot Chilli Pipers doing rocking bagpipe versions of Smoke of the Water, Thunderstruck, Smoke on the Water and even Clocks by Coldplay.

You can see them live at Irishfest in Milwaukee this weekend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QosPKhQxPLc

WEENIES OF THE WEEK 8.20.10

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week... every Green Bay Packers fan who said to me this week that they are just sick to death of hearing about Brett Favre and how we should just shut up about Brett Favre...but then continued for another 15 minutes to talk to me about Brett Favre!!!

So...for claiming that you're going to turn off the radio whenever you hear the name of the man whose name you think should not be spoken…but somehow you know exactly what we said about him.

For declaring that you don't care anymore about #4...and then holding to that conviction about as well as Brett sticks to his retirements.

And for saying that you won't watch ESPN when they break in with the latest Favre news, but then you rush to the TV like a Favre sibling rushes to free shoplifting day at the Hattiesburg, Mississippi WalMart.

We are proud to name every Green Bay Packers fan who said to me this week that they are sick to death of hearing about Brett Favre but who themselves can't stop talking about him as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week.

JOE LIST AT SKYLINE (AND ON THE RICK AND LEN SHOW!)

Comic Joe List will join us Friday morning round about 8am.

See Joe tonight (Thursday) at the Skyline Comedy Cafe at 8. Make sure you mention it's WAPL night and get 2 for 1 admission. Hey, face it, it's probably going to rain and ruin your outside plans, so call 734-JOKE (5653) and have a little indoor fun.

Or see Joe Friday or Saturday night at Skyline. You'll laugh! (if not, you can call me a liar. Like I care!)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTB4PiTy9wM&feature=player_embedded

I'M DARTH VADER. GO F' YOURSELF, SAN DIEGO

Check out this video that combines the evil of Darth Vader with the glory that is Ron Burgundy:Anchorman.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqbACO0XwUQ&feature=player_embedded

PARTY LIKE A ROCK STAR!

Oh sure. We've all heard the expression, "Party like a rock star". But what does that really mean? Take a look at this photo of Iron Maiden's actually bar tab from Finnegan's Pub in Norway and you'll understand.

You know, I get the 78 pints of Guinness and the 21 glasses of Jaeger. But 27 Slippery Nipples? Doesn't sound very heavy metal to me. But still...a 20109.00 Norwegian Kroner (about $3266 US) bar tab is nothing to shake a liver at.

HOLY DRIVER!!!

A Packers fan who now lives in Seattle sent the Rick and Len Show a cool tune he and some friends wrote to honor wide receiver Donald Driver. They put it to the song "Holy Diver" by Dio. It's done very well. Check it out here.

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 8.16.2010

August 10th City of Shawano
Officers responded to the report of a driver rear-ending a vehicle causing it to hit another vehicle in front of American Marina. The driver who caused the three car accident told officers that she had been distracted by the sight of the Little Caesar's mascot.

August 12th City of Chilton
A caller reported suspicious persons at the intersection of Highway 55 and Quinney Road. Responding officers found two individuals on the road looking for lost eyeglasses in the ditch. They told officers they would look again in the daylight.

August 12th City of Shawano
Police received a report of a juvenile problem occurring on South Evergreen Street and East Stevens Street from a caller who saw some kids pulling flamingos out of somebody's yard.

July 27th City of Neenah
A complainant told police that a teenage boy was using a large knife to whittle a stick while walking on the sidewalk on South Lake Street. Police advised the boy to stay in his yard with the knife and warned him of the dangers of walking and whittling.

August 11th City of Shawano
Police received a report of a man pacing on Warrington Street.

August 1st Village of Shorewood
A man wearing an inside out Obama/Clinton T-shirt, walked into Bakers Square picked up an apple pie as if to buy it, approached the clerk and demanded money saying he was armed. The man fled with $200...and the pie.

July 18th City of Menasha
A woman on First Street reported that someone entered her apartment and took a pair of pants.

August 4th City of Waupun
A woman on East Jefferson Street reported seeing a "giant monster" of a big fat rat in her yard and said that although it might not be a rat, it has her scared to death. Police said the "giant monster" of a big fat rat was, in fact, a possum.

BEST STRIPPER POLE ACCIDENT VIDEOS

In honor of our Weenies of the Week, here are videos of some of Youtubes best stripper pole accidents! (the first one even includes cat fighting strippers!)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYIOUTJWlTY&feature=player_embedded


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHRl--bIh_E&feature=player_embedded


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-hLHBDS_mU&feature=player_embedded


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLGBC72rkCU&feature=player_embedded


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A67nk_oldiE&feature=player_embedded

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 8.13.10

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenies of the Week...two of the strippers involved in an altercation this week outside The Other Place, a Fond du Lac strip club. Two dancers in their 30's allegedly roughly grabbed and spit on a 21-year-old dancer whom they accused of allowing men to inappropriately touch her during lap dances so she could make more money. The 21-year-old told police the altercation started in the club's dressing room where someone, presumably one or both of the two older dancers, glued her curling iron shut.

So,

For gluing the other stripper's curling iron shut when they obviously really wanted to glue her legs shut.

For getting into a 3-way all stripper cat fight outside the business proving once and for all that the streets of Fond du Lac are way too classy to be known ONLY for public urination.

And for using glue on the curling iron which proves there is, in fact, something in a strip club even stickier than the pole (and presumably the pants of the 21-year-old dancer's customers!)

We are proud to name the fighting Fondy strippers as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIES OF THE WEEK!

(Picture not of the actual Fondy fighting strippers!)

"BOOBS AND BUBBLEWRAP" (I.E. PETE LEE) ON THE RICK AND LEN SHOW

From Janesville to Last Comic Standing, it's been a wild ride for the wildly funny Pete Lee. He may be the only comic we've ever had the show that was on a soap opera. (a doctor on As the World Turns!)

Pete will join us in the studio Friday morning about 8 for some smart ass hijinks! See him at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton. Tonight is WAPL night, slip that little nugget into the conversation when making our reservations at 920-734-JOKE (5653) and get 2 for 1 admission.

Or check him out at the still very reasonable 1 for 1 admission on Friday or Saturday nights.

Here's a little of the man in action!

http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/events/aspen/next/TwoTakesOnTime

FAVRE FETCHED OR NOT?

In the interest of fairness, let's examine the claim made by the website Deadspin that Brett Favre texted photos of his penis to cheerleader tuned sports reporter Jenn Sterger while he was with the Jets. Here's are the pros and cons...

They claim you can tell it's Brett because he's wearing the same wristwatch he wore at his first retirement press conference.
Con: It's probably not Brett because hundreds of men probably have the same watch.
Pro: It could be Brett because the watch's big hand is on the 12 and it’s little hand is...throwing an interception.

The woman he reportedly sent the pictures to was a sports reporter.
Con: It's probably not Brett because there were never any reports of him sending pictures of his penis to sports reporters when he was in Green Bay.
Pro: It could be Brett because if Larry McCarren had received a picture of a twisted, fleshy appendage he probably would have assumed it was a photo of his own finger.

In one of the photos Brett is reportedly masturbating.
Pro: It could be Brett because he is kind of a jerk off.
Con: It's probably not Brett, since we've only heard about him having a cannon for an arm, not a penis.

The pictures were supposedly sent while Brett was a member of the New York Jets.
Pro: It could be Brett because he did have regular interaction with the woman in question during that period.
Con: It's probably not Brett because if he was with the Jets and not Minnesota at the time, why does the penis in the picture reportedly have a purple helmet?

One of the pictures reportedly shows Brett groping his genitals.
Pro: It could be Brett because it reportedly does look like it could be his hand.
Con: It's probably not Brett because he’s only holding his balls not throwing them to an opponent’s defensive back.

BRETT FAVRE PENIS SONG

Last week, the website Deadspin claimed that while with the Jets, Brett Favre was texting photos of his penis to a former cheerleader turned reporter. According to the report, the woman received several pics from Brett including one were he was wearing a pair of Croqs and pleasuring himself.

Here's a little tune about it...with pictures (but not THOSE pictures!)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AuEuYyfL0o

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 8.9.10

July 18th City of Glendale
Three woman were arrested for disorderly conduct after a fight with a 22-year-old a woman outside La Quinta Inn. All of them had been at a party at the hotel and the fight started over a man also at the party. The three said the 22-year-old started the fight when she swung a portable pink stripper pole at them.

July 24th City of Mayville
A 74-year-old woman contacted the police to report the theft of three solar yard lights...and a pink flamingo from her yard.

August 4th City of Shawano
A woman called police to report she heard her car making funny noises. When she got out of her car and checked, she found tin cans tied to the car with fishing line.

August 3rd City of Beaver Dam
A 24-year-old woman called police to report that a children's pool had been stolen from her home on Washington Street. Investigating officers found that the pool had actually been at another woman's residence for the last two weeks because the 24-year-old caller had taken it there. The caller admitted to lying about the pool being stolen and was warned about obstructing an officer.

August 3rd City of Shawano
A woman on Richmond Street found a mother pine snake with babies in the her front lawn. He landlord was instructed to either leave them alone, or just smack the them over the head with a shovel.

August 2nd City of Beaver Dam
A woman called 911 and reported that she had a drinking problem. The woman would not give her name but said that she would meet police in a parking lot on Madison Street. The woman hung up the phone and when police called back she became very uncooperative. She never showed up in the parking lot and police tried to contact her several times unsuccessfully.

August 4th City of Shawano
Police received a report of a disturbance at the KFC restaurant. A woman called to report that her chicken tasted like fish and restaurant employees refused to give her different food.

July 26th Village of Fox Point
A 21-year-old woman was cited for reckless driving after two people said she almost hit them and then made an obscene gesture. The woman initially denied driving saying it was a friend behind the wheel and she was in the back seat with a dog and the witnesses might have seen her raise her hand to control the dog. She finally admitted to being the driver but still denied making an obscene gesture, saying she'd have known if she had done so adding "because, believe me, I know how to flip people off."

A WEEK OF WINNIN' AHEAD WITH R&L

Join us in the week ahead for your chance to with tickets to Farm Aid 25 in Milwaukee with John Mellencamp, Neil Young, the Dave Matthews Band and, of course, Willie Nelson.

Plus, we'll be giving away tickets to the Living Wild Outdoors Festival 2010 coming to Appleton August 20th through August 22nd.

UPDATE: CHRIS AARON'S BANDALLAMAS V.I.P. BASH

THERE'S ONLY A LIMITED NUMBER OF V.I.P. PACKAGES STILL AVAILABLE!!!!

Fox Valley guitar legend Chris Aaron is coming home with The Bandallamas! This supergroup is opening for Loverboy at Waterfest in Oshkosh Thursday, August 12th and you have a chance to party with the band!

Special Bandallamas V.I.P. packages are available now at the Rockin' Apple rate of $105.70.

Packages include Waterfest admission, admission to the V.I.P. meet and greet at Beckett's after the show, the new double cd from Bandallamas, access to a special pre-release download at Broadjam.com, a limited edition V.I.P. poster, a Bandallamas t-shirt, a Safe Ride ticket for those in Sturgeon Bay, Waupaca or Waupun plus two drink tickets and appetizers.

You'll meet Chris as well as Jane Wiedlin (the Go-Gos), Victor DeLorenzo (Violent Femmes), Rob Wasserman (Bob Weir, Van Morrison), Wally Ingram (Sheryl Crow, Jackson Browne, David Lindley), pat mAcdonald (Timbuk 3), Ken Saydak (Johnny Winter, Koko Taylor, Lonnie Brooks), Richard David (Frank Sinatra, Miles Davis, Steve Miller), Pauli Ryan (Garbage, U2, L7, Son Volt) and the incomparable Bobby Bryan.

Plus, $10 from each package sold goes to the Guitars for Vets program.

Click Here to order your V.I.P. package or to see additional Bandallamas merchandise!

To learn more about Chris and Bandallamas, check out this great cover story from the August issue of The Scene!

UP IN SMOKE!

Appleton authorities are considering changing the name of Smoketree Pass because stoners apparently keep stealing the street signs. Here's some option of new names for Smoketree Pass.

10. Reefer Road

9. Blunt Boulevard

8. Cannabis Court

7. Ditchweed Drive

6. Chronic Crossing

5. Toker Trail

4. Homegrown Highway

3. Joint Pass

2. Sweet Leaf Lane

1. Wacky Tabacky Terrace

LAST COMIC STANDING CAN KISS MY ASS, AUGGIE SMITH MAY BE THE FUNNIEST PERSON IN AMERICA!

By my estimates, over the years, we've had between 400 and 500 comics on the Rick and Len Show. Auggie Smith is in my top 5! In fact, now that I think about it, he may very well be #1. See the Aug Man tonight through Saturday night at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton.

And tune in Friday morning at 8 when Auggie joins us in the studio! Until then, enjoy this very funny clip of the man in action...

-Rick-

MY BIG REDNECK WEDDING!

THINGS OVERHEARD AT CHELSEA CLINTON'S WEDDING

10. Did your mother help you pick out that bridal pant suit?

9. That old silver haired guy playing the saxophone just grabbed my ass.

8. When they said there would be a lot of single ladies, I didn't realize they meant Janet Reno, Donna Shalala and Madeline Albright.

7. Whatever you do, don’t start giving Al Gore a massage.

6. When it came to making the hors d'oeuvres, Hilary said she really enjoyed sticking the toothpicks through all those wieners.

5. I know it was a great bachelor party but for the love of god, will somebody please wipe the smile and stripper glitter off her father's face.

4. Why does Bill keep laughing during the wedding vows?

3. He may not have inhaled the marijuana at Oxford but he sure inhaled that wedding cake.

2. Seriously, the groom's not blind?

1. Why did your dad look so guilty when I pointed out that the chubby bridesmaid had a gooey stain on her dress?

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 8.2.10

July 27th City of Beaver Dam
A woman on Carrington Street told police that a woman in Las Vegas claimed she was sending an FBI agent to her home to get information about a scam involving the Australian lottery. The Las Vegas woman called again while an officer was at the Carrington Street home and after the police officer identified himself to the caller, she became very irate and began telling him she would cast a spell on him that would make him start bleeding out of the eyes.

July 11th City of Neenah
A caller on Honeysuckle Lane told police she was "play wrestling" with friends shortly after 1 a.m. when her boyfriend came downstairs, got angry and punched a hole in an outside wall.

July 10th Village of Howard
Police were called to a Velp Avenue bar where a 32-year-old man was cited for allegedly slapping the eyeglasses off another man's face.

July 22nd City of Waupun
A woman on Franklin Street called police to report that her children, ages 4 and 7, were playing outside and cars were driving by and splashing water on them. Police found the cars weren’t doing it on purpose; the street was flooded and the kids were playing next to the road. Police advised the children to play by the house and not by the street.

July 21st City of Omro
Police issued a warning to a 17-year-old boy who was spotted throwing a traffic cone into the Fox River. After talking to police, The teen retrieved the cone from the water.

July 12th City of Neenah
Officers responded to a retail theft report from a business in Fox Point Plaza. Two Oshkosh women were caught in the act of shoplifting. A 26-year-old woman was cited for stealing 19 packs of Kool-Aid and a package of cookies. Her 50-year-old accomplice was cited for taking four rolls of toilet paper and a cinnamon streusel.

July 29th City of Portage
Police investigated a report of a possible breaking and entering attempt by cutting a window screen and breaking a lock on a window at an apartment. The responding officer found a naked man walking on the fire exit steps of the building. The man told police he was locked out after taking the garbage outside and said it was his birthday.

July 17th Village of Pulaski
Police responded to a call from Village Auto where someone had stolen a 25-foot inflatable orange gorilla.

July 18th Village of Shorewood
Police took a 56-year-old man to a hospital after he was seen walking down the street with a badly bleeding hand. The man told officers he had purchased a bottle of wine and had to break it open because he didn't have a corkscrew and that's when he cut his hand.