MONKEYING AROUND WITH THE TALIBAN!

Chinese news agencies are claiming that Taliban forces in Afghanistan are training monkeys to fight American military forces. As you can see, they even have a picture (that doesn't look at all Photo-shopped).

SIGNS YOUR MONKEY MIGHT BE A TERRORIST

If he yells "death to America every time he flings his poo...your monkey might be a terrorist.

If his banana is mysteriously ticking...your monkey might be a terrorist.

If instead of going "oo oo oo oo oo" be goes "la la la la la la la"...your monkey might be a terrorist.

If instead of smelling like bananas and urine, he smells like falafel and humus AND bananas and urine...your monkey might be a terrorist.

If instead of living with "the man with the yellow hat", he lives with "the man with the yellow turban"...ur monkey might be a terrorist.

If he pleasures himself to naked pictures of Larry McCarren...your monkey might be a terrorist. (No wait, I’m sorry, from "Your terrorist might be a monkey"!)

If he not only delights in picking nits off of you, he has launched a jihad against the nits...your monkey might be a terrorist.

If he's wearing an adorable hat, a cute little vest...and 50 pounds of C4 explosives...your monkey is definitely a terrorist!