CHRIS AARON'S BANDALLAMAS V.I.P. BASH

Fox Valley guitar legend Chris Aaron is coming home with The Bandallamas! This supergroup is opening for Loverboy at Waterfest in Oshkosh Thursday, August 12th and you have a chance to party with the band!

You'll meet Chris as well as Jane Wiedlin (the Go-Gos), Victor DeLorenzo (Violent Femmes), Rob Wasserman (Bob Weir, Van Morrison), Wally Ingram (Sheryl Crow, Jackson Browne, David Lindley), pat mAcdonald (Timbuk 3), Ken Saydak (Johnny Winter, Koko Taylor, Lonnie Brooks), Richard David (Frank Sinatra, Miles Davis, Steve Miller), Pauli Ryan (Garbage, U2, L7, Son Volt) and the incomparable Bobby Bryan.

Special Bandallamas V.I.P. packages are available now at the Rockin' Apple rate of $105.70.
Packages include Waterfest admission, admission to the V.I.P. meet and greet at Beckett's after the show, the new double cd from Bandallamas, access to a special pre-release download at Broadjam.com, a limited edition V.I.P. poster, a Bandallamas t-shirt, a Safe Ride ticket for those in Sturgeon Bay, Waupaca or Waupun plus two drink tickets and appetizers.

Plus, $10 from each package sold goes to the Guitars for Vets program.
Click Here to order your V.I.P. package or to see additional Bandallamas merchandise.

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 7.30.10

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...the Appleton police officer who reportedly gave a 22-year-old girl who puked on the curb while waiting for a cab a $200.00 citation for "littering" because, as she was later informed, "puking will not be tolerated in Appleton".

So,

For assuming she was drunk when she may have been just training to be a super model.

For disrupting her while she was in the process of delivering a pavement pizza.

For interfering while she was kindly guiding some emigrants out of Tummyland.

And for violating the girl's right to religious freedom by interrupting her while she was doing the next best thing to praying to the porcelain god, which is giving offerings to the cement deity.

We are proud to name the Appleton police officer who cited the girl for littering because she vomited as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.

POP QUIZ, HOT SHOT!

Bugs Bunny turned 70 this week. You can tell Bugs is getting older since:
a. He keeps taking the wrong turn at Albuquerque.
b. He no longer cares if it’s duck season or rabbit season.
c. The only time he ever says "What's up, doc?" is when his physician is checking his prostate.

Among the celebrities who were NOT invited to Warner Brothers 70th birthday bash for Bugs Bunny was Richard Gere. The reason Gere was not invited was:
a. he's not a fan of Bugs.
b. the violence in the Bugs Bunny cartoons runs counter to his Buddhist beliefs.
c. they didn't want him going home with a wild hare up his ass.

Ryan Seacrest is reportedly "dating" dancer Juliana Hough. The two are a perfect match since:
a. she appears on Dancing with the Stars and he appears on American Idol.
b. she's 5 foot 1 and he's 5 foot 2.
c. she's light on her feet and he's light in his loafers.

Saturday night the Packers are hosting a movie night at Lambeau Field and will show the film Diary of a Wimpy Kid. The reason they chose this movie was:
a. it's a story about overcoming adversity.
b. it's a family film that's sure to entertain parents and kids alike.
c. it's based on the life of Bears' quarterback Jay Cutler.

Sheboygan officials are reportedly trying to finalize a deal to have a casino built in the city's South Pier District. Some are against the building of a casino in city because:
a. they believe gambling is a sin.
b. they fear it will attract an unsavory element.
c. they believe the last thing Sheboygan needs is more losers.

A man facing the death penalty for a double homicide in Utah wrote a letter to his local newspaper from jail this week complaining about the credibility of the testimony against him and requesting the newspaper editor put Garfield back on their comics page. The main reason he wanted the paper to start running Garfield is:
a. it's just damn funny.
b. he also hates Mondays and loves lasagna.
c. If convicted, Garfield is the last pussy he's ever going to see.

FLYING HIGH AT E.A.A.

LINDSEY LOHAN should be at Airventure 2010...because she could get really high without setting off her ankle bracelet.

MEL GIBSON should be at Airventure 2010...where perhaps some experienced stunt pilot could advise him how to pull his a career out of it's nosedive.

SARAH PALIN should be at Airventure 2010... to explain how every time a plane takes off it "refutiates" Newton's Law of Gravity.

THE OCTOMOM should be at Airventure 2010...because they need someplace big enough to park the Goodyear blimp. (and if the pilot could find his keys, he'd fly it out of there)

DICK CHENEY should be at Airventure 2010...because the air shows are so exciting they could give him a pulse.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON should be at Airventure 2010...because most attendees really appreciate a great set of nosecones.

PRESIDENT OBAMA should be at Airventure 2010...because listening to the loud, droning sound of the engines could help prepare him for sitting between Barbara Walters and Joy Behar during his Friday appearance on The View.

TEA PARTY FOUNDER JUSTIN PHILIPS should be at Airventure 2010...to see if it's even possible to get something off the ground that only has a right wing.

AL GORE should be at Airventure 2010...because it appears that after a "hard-landing" on Tuesday, NASCAR team owner Jack Roush is going to be okay giving that story a happy ending and as we recently learned, Al Gore loves a "happy ending"!

FROM LATE NIGHT TO EARLY MORNING

Keith Alberstadt will join us in the studio for the Rick and Len Show Friday morning at 8. Keith, who has appeared on the Late Show with David Letterman is appearing at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton through Saturday night.

Tonight is WAPL night at the Skyline. Mention that when you make your reservation at 920-734-JOKE and get 2 for 1 admission.

Here's Keith making his network debut on the Late Show.

RICK AND LEN SHOW LOCAL MUG SHOT OF THE MONTH FOR JULY 2010!

Trisha Lynn Kasperek, 24, of Appleton. One of the 4 suspects in Sunday's robbery of the Burger King in the Town of Buchanan.

She has the same look I would have if I saw the Burger King naked!

GROOMED FOR A LIFE OF CRIME

Did you hear about the Fond du Lac wedding this past weekend that lead to 1 noise complaint, 3 domestic disputes, 1 bar fight and a car crash? The Fond du Lac Reporter has all the details but we were wondering, what exactly are the signs your marriage might be off to a bad start?

If you have to pawn your wedding gifts to bail out the mother of the bride...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If your wedding has started more fights than a case of cheap Irish whiskey...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If you remember the date of your first anniversary because that's the day your best man is getting paroled...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If by the end of the reception, fewer of your guests have shared the wedding cake than are now sharing a cell with Lindsey Lohan...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If by the time you say "I do", there are more people in hand cuffs than at a bondage party at George Michael's house...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If instead of clinking their glasses to get the bride and groom to kiss, guests just bang their tin cups against the bars on their cell doors...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If the priest presiding over the ceremony changes the words "You may kiss the bride" to "LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE"...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If you choose to get married in a church with a priest but all the guests ended up at a courthouse with a judge...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If the bride has her "something old, something new, and something borrowed" but the "something blue" is the flashing lights atop the squad car that keeps carting away the wedding guests...your marriage might be off to a bad start.

If your guests account for a noise complaint, three domestic disputes, a tavern fight and a hit-and-run crash...your marriage is definitely off to a bad start.

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 7.26.10

July 21st City of Stevens Point
An 18-year-old Mosinee man was cited for retail theft after he left Fleet Farm without paying for a pair of fuzzy dice he had concealed in his pants.

July 17th City of Beaver Dam
A 34-year-old man contacted police and reported that he ordered a mail order bride named "Natalia" from Russia and she was suppose to arrive to his home on Madison Street to marry him but she did not show up.

July 20th City of Wisconsin Rapids
Police received an anonymous report of a young female screaming on 12th Street. A responding officer found the screams were coming from a girl...refusing to go to bed.

July 6th City of Appleton
Police received a report of a 22-year-old male on County KK wearing a blue and white football jersey and going door to door asking residents for alcohol.

July 14th City of Wauwatosa
A van driver waiting to pick up railroad employees in the Extended Stay Hotel lobby, called police to report a man walked up to her, said he was looking for a good time, flashed some money and licked her ear.

July 18th City of Wisconsin Rapids
A woman called police to report that a man who tried talking to her while shopping threw at tube of toothpaste at her in Walmart.

July 13th Village of Pulaski
Police were called to Colonial Courts where a dispute between a mother and daughter was triggered by the mother's refusal to give the girl money for Dairy Queen.

July 8th City of Glendale
Police received a report of a man who stole sunglasses and jewelry from The Boston Store. The man was described as being intoxicated with a large, wet urine stain in the front of his pants.

July 14th City of Wauwatosa
Two 15-year-old Milwaukee girls were arrested for retail theft after they put merchandise valued at $205 in their purses at Macy's. The girls said they were "used to being spoiled" but now their families didn't have as much money to spoil them so they had to steal the items they wanted.

July 8th City of Manitowoc
A man caught shoplifting live worms started a fight with the clerk at an East Street business who tried to prevent him from leaving the store. The man, who already had an outstanding warrant, was arrested on a disorderly conduct charge as well as possession of drug paraphernalia, second-offense possession of alcohol by a minor and retail theft under $10 for the worms. The man admitted he took the worms because he just wanted to go fishing.

TOP TEN SIGNS OF TOO MUCH RAIN

Here are the Top Ten Signs that we've had TOO MUCH @$*#&%! RAIN!

10) Waterfest is now calling itself Too Much Waterfest.

9) The Fox River Mall has taken the word "Mall" off the sign.

8) The S.S. Badger Ferry now serves the Fox Cities.

7) Two River is now Three Rivers (or "Trivvers" is now "Thrivvers").

6) Oshkosh has changed the city slogan from Oshkosh On the Water to
Oshkosh Under the Water.

5) You may now use Fox 11's Tom Milbourn's head as a flotation device.

4) The EAA grounds are the new host of the Tall Ship Festival.

3) Green Bay's new "Zippin' Pippin" roller-coaster is being reformatted as
a waterslide attraction called "The Drippin' Pippin."

2) WAPL's Roxanne Steele is getting rusty.

And the number one sign that we've had too much rain...

BP is doing more deep water oil well drilling...in Black Creek!

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 7.23.10

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...
Outagamie County Board Supervisor Peter Beckley, who this week was charged
drunk driving...for the fourth time!

Police say he was driving without headlights on one night last February when an officer tried to pull him over. But even though the cop had his squad car lights and siren on, Beckley didn't pull over. Instead he drove into his own driveway and tried to walk into his house. The criminal complaint says he then refused a sobriety test and told the officer "this is my house" and ordered the cop off the property. By the way, his license was already suspended from his third O-W-I.


So,

For apparently thinking that no matter how drunk you are, as long as you make it home, you're good. No ticket for you.

For allegedly having a point-oh-two-one blood alcohol content, which is apparently about twice as high as his I-Q.

And for doing his level best as the county's Finance Committee Chairman to keep the county in the black by paying lots of drunk driving fines.

We are proud to name Outagamie County Board Supervisor and accused four-time drunk driving offender Peter Beckley as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

MO MANDEL ON THE SHOW FRIDAY!

Tune in Friday between 8 and 9 a.m. for comic Mo Mandel who is appearing this week at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton.
Raised by hippies in the woods of northern California, Mo Mandel used to lie awake at night listening to his mother’s samba band practicing in the room next door. This is when Mo first considered performing himself, more specifically, performing matricide. Mandel first gained national attention by winning Comedy Central’s “Open Mic Fight” in 2007, and has since made numerous appearances on “Live at Gotham,” as well as starring in all eight episodes of the cult hit show, “Reality Bites Back.” Mandel has also made numerous appearances on “Chelsea Lately,” “The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson.” Most recently Mandel was chosen to play one of the leads in a new sitcom pilot for FOX by the creators of “Will and Grace,” opposite Emmy award winning actress Laurie Metcalf and Jere Burns.
Click here to sample Mo's act.

"BOSS" BARERRA KICKS IT WITH LEN

Mixed Martial Arts fighter Chris "The Boss" Barerra joins the Rick an Len Show this Thursday, July 22nd. He's promoting the Full Contact Fights this Saturday at The Big Apple Pub and Grill in Manitowoc. Listen in at about 9 am to see if he kicks Len's smart ass. You'll also have a chance to win a pair of tickets for the fights!

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 7.19.10

July 14 City of Marshfield
A 17-year-old Marshfield man reported hearing a dog barking outside of his home at 4:17am. The man went outside and found two full Little Caesar's pizzas in his car, with a note reading, "Hey, I was driving and thought you were hungry, love Bob the Builder." Police are investigating the matter.

June 27th City of Neenah
A Hansen Street woman told police that a man and a 10-year-old boy were in her house and that the man was sitting in her living room. She also reported that a yellow vehicle resembling a school bus was parked in front of the house. Police checked the house and determined that the woman was seeing things.

June 24th City of New London
Police were called to a North Shawano Street business where someone put a toilet in a cardboard recycling dumpster. Investigating officers identified a suspect by a piece of mail.

July 8th Village of Howard
A 52-year-old man was arrested at Wietor Warf Park after he was found with his pants pulled down lying near garbage and a bottle of Kessler's whiskey.

July 9th Town of Sheboygan
Police received a report that someone broke into 3 storage units at William's Mini-Storage and stole $10,000 worth of tools and Hot Wheels cars.

July 12th City of Shawano
Police received a complaint about a couple at Kuchkuk Park having sex on a picnic table.

July 14th City of Beaver Dam
A man who's door lock was broken called police when he tried to use duct tape to fix it and accidentally locked himself in his own apartment. Police used a jackknife to free the man.

July 11th City of Beaver Dam
A 39-year-old man was taken into custody for disorderly conduct after chasing a 15-year-old boy and his friends around with a golf club.

July 5th City of Glendale
36-year-old Milwaukee man was arrested for lewd and lascivious behavior after witnesses reported him masturbating in front of the Golden Living Center Nursing Home. The man denied he was masturbating that saying he was only urinating.

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 7.16.10

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week...the several people who called Appleton police early Thursday morning to report a nude skateboarder on College Avenue. Responding officers rushed to the scene only to find...a shirtless man wearing tan shorts.

So,

For apparently getting their hopes up that the Appleton entertainment district had suddenly become more entertaining.

For not being able to define obscenity but knowing it when they don't really see it.

And for calling the pigs before they even saw the pork.

We are proud to name all the people who called the Appleton PD to report a nude skateboarder on College Avenue when it was really just a guy in tan shorts as this week's Rick and Len Show... Weenies of the Week.

CELEBRITIES NOT IN THE 2 PUTZ GOLF OUTING!

Jesse James wanted to play in the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf Outing but prefers his holes to have some tattoos.

Ricky Martin wanted to play in the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf Outing Golf Outing but last time he was part of a foursome, he wasn't able to sit down for a week.

Michael Jackson wanted to play in the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf Outing but he's played with his last pair of little white balls.

Tom Cruise wanted to play in the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf Outing but still claims he doesn't play with balls.

Lindsey Lohan wanted to play in the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf Outing but was afraid her alcohol monitoring bracelet would go off just getting within 10 feet of half of today's golfers.

The cast of The View wanted to play in the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf Outing but everybody brought their own equipment so we don't need another 5 bags.

Al Gore wanted to play in the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf Outing but was busy trying to find a masseuse to tug on his putter.

Mel Gibson wanted to play in the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf Outing but if he gets that mad when someone doesn't make his bed, you don’t want to see him when he misses a 2 foot putt.

BP head Tony Hayward wanted to play in the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf Outing but decided one gulf disaster a year is enough.

YOU'LL DIG DOUG!

Doug Benson from Last Comic Standing and VH1's Best Week Ever and maker of the cult classic documentary Super High Me comes to the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton for a special two night engagement, Friday and Saturday night this week. Make your reservations by calling 920-734-JOKE but hurry, space is limited.

Doug will join us about 8am Friday morning during our broadcast from the Rick and Len Two Putz Golf Outing.

Here's a little Doug to get you through the night.

HEY KID, WE'LL MAKE YOU A STAR

From the makers of feature film, THE HUNGRY BULL, comes a new psychological thriller called JAKE'S CHOICE, about 3 mysterious moonshiners who upset the equilibrium of a small Northwoods town when they dispense their strange brew to the locals.

An open audition for the film will take place on Saturday July 17th from noon until 4pm in the Baird room at the Radisson Paper Valley Hotel in downtown Appleton.

The production is looking to cast boys and girls ages 11-16, and men and women ages 25-40.

No acting experience necessary. No preparation needed. Participants will be asked a few brief questions on camera. Production on the film is scheduled to begin later this summer, shooting in and around the Fox Valley.

Here's the trailer from the filmmaker's previous movie The Hungry Bull which was shot in Neenah-Menasha, Oshkosh and Appleton.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mk0_0eOTih8

MONKEYING AROUND WITH THE TALIBAN!

Chinese news agencies are claiming that Taliban forces in Afghanistan are training monkeys to fight American military forces. As you can see, they even have a picture (that doesn't look at all Photo-shopped).

SIGNS YOUR MONKEY MIGHT BE A TERRORIST

If he yells "death to America every time he flings his poo...your monkey might be a terrorist.

If his banana is mysteriously ticking...your monkey might be a terrorist.

If instead of going "oo oo oo oo oo" be goes "la la la la la la la"...your monkey might be a terrorist.

If instead of smelling like bananas and urine, he smells like falafel and humus AND bananas and urine...your monkey might be a terrorist.

If instead of living with "the man with the yellow hat", he lives with "the man with the yellow turban"...ur monkey might be a terrorist.

If he pleasures himself to naked pictures of Larry McCarren...your monkey might be a terrorist. (No wait, I’m sorry, from "Your terrorist might be a monkey"!)

If he not only delights in picking nits off of you, he has launched a jihad against the nits...your monkey might be a terrorist.

If he's wearing an adorable hat, a cute little vest...and 50 pounds of C4 explosives...your monkey is definitely a terrorist!

DISCOUNT TIX FOR PROJECT PINK

There's not a lot of time left to save money on tickets for the premier Pink Floyd tribute act, Project Pink at the Outagamie County Fair. The show is Friday, July 30th.
Join WAPL's Len Nelson for a tremendous spectacle replete with spot-on recreations of your favorite Pink Floyd tunes along with a wicked stage and light show!
Click here for discounted advance tickets.

IN THE MONEY!

Money magazine has chosen Appleton as one on the 100 best places to live in the U.S.

WHY APPLETON IS ONE OF THE 100 BEST PLACES TO LIVE IN THE US.

10. Downtown just as nice as Fond du Lac with only half as many urine puddles.

9. When the wind blows from the north, the stank from Menasha is almost completely covered by the rotten eggs and monkey ass smell from Kaukauna.

8. If you’re a business owner and have a problem you can contact city officials and the sound of them laughing at you is sure to bring joy to others.

7. Good jobs available for the unskilled and uneducated as long as you’re not too embarrassed to work for the Post Crescent.

6. Home of beautiful public art like the enormous penis-shaped sculpture at the north end of the Skyline bridge which artistically symbolizes that shafting you’re going to get when you pay your property taxes.

5. Conveniently located close enough to Sheboygan that no matter what we do, it’s not going to seem that weird by comparison.

4. Proactive city government instituted legislation designed to cover sidewalks outside bars with cigarette butts 5 years before the rest of the state.

3. Police are less likely than the ones in Green Bay to shoot you in cold blood.

2. With a Christmas parade in November, Octoberfest in September, trick or treating on October 28th and Independence Day fireworks on July 3rd, everyday is a holiday, except the days of the actual holidays.

1. City parking meters collect all change that would otherwise go to panhandling hobos.

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 7.13.10

July 6th City of Madison
Police arrested a Racine man after he slammed his SUV into a strip club. Officers say the 50-year-old man was asked to leave the club after vomiting in the VIP area. After that, witnesses told police the man got into his SUV, put it in reverse and slammed into the club's entrance. When police pulled up to the man’s vehicle, an officer asked him how he was doing. He told them, "Not good," but indicated he had "seen some nice strippers". The man then denied driving the SUV and claimed he arrived at the location thanks to help from… "Martians."

June 23rd City of Wauwatosa
A 32-year-old man was arrested for disorderly conduct after he drove his bicycle up to the drive-through window at McDonald's and refused to leave until he got served. The man threatened to slap employees and was holding up about five cars waiting for orders.

June 16th City of Neenah
Police responded to a report of an animal-at-large on Deerfield Avenue and what they are calling an "ongoing defecation problem."

July 3rd Village of Winneconne
Police arrested a father-son texting tag team after they sent threatening and vulgar text messages to the father's ex-wife. The ex-wife showed police several obscene texts she received on her cell phone from a number she recognized as her ex-husband's. She could tell from the wording that they had been dictated to her son, who actually did the texting. Police went to the ex-husband's residence and spoke to the couple's son, who admitted he sent the texts for his father who did not know how to send text messages.

June 14th Town of Menasha
An employee reported that someone stole his lunchbox while he was at work on American Drive. He told police his lunchbox contained some orthopedic products.

June 16th City of Glendale
A 31-year-old man was arrested on a criminal charge of disorderly conduct after he attacked a 16-year-old boy as they both stood in line at McDonald's. The man was behind the boy and said, "Let's cut in front of these kids," and did. The boy told the man that wasn't right and the man grabbed the boy around the neck and hit him in the chest. The man left but was arrested at his home where he was found lying on the floor with 24 empty beer cans scattered around him. The man admitting drinking only "nine pints of beer" and denied hurting the boy but admitted being rude to McDonald's employees.

July 2nd City of Madison
A 50-year-old man told police he was hanging out with two white male teens in James Madison Park when he decided to buy a bottle of brandy to share with his friends. He bought the booze and shortly afterward was robbed of the brandy and his wallet at knife point. A short time later, police apprehended the thief and recovered the stolen brandy. According to police, “The victim became very upset when informed the brandy was evidence and he wouldn't be getting it back immediately. The man reportedly threw a tantrum laying down in the road demanding he get his booze back. The victim was later himself arrested for making false 911 calls that were more failed attempts at retrieving his liquor.

June 27th City of Chilton
Police received a report of a two vehicle accident. A North 9th Street resident reported that a neighbor hit the caller’s remote control nitro-powered car with his silver Mazda. It was explained to him that real vehicles have the right of way. The caller was advised to go to a parking lot and not play on the roadway with his toys.

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 7.9.10

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Bryce Hinkel who was charged Wednesday in Winnebago County Circuit Court with attempted first-degree intentional homicide and his fourth OWI in five years after he allegedly tried to run down a pedestrian in an apartment complex parking lot on Marathon Avenue in Neenah. When police apprehended Hinkle, he reportedly smelled of intoxicants, had bloodshot eyes and his lips, tongue and teeth were covered in a greenish, blue tint. Hinkel told officers the greenish, blue coloring was from food coloring that he drank because of its alcohol content. He told them he had also been drinking both vodka and a bottle of vanilla extract.

So,

For allegedly attempting homicide while under the influence of baking products.

For finding the most creative way to get drunk since Kitty Dukakis whipped up a rubbing alcohol gimlet.

For dispensing with the old cliché of getting caught red handed in favor of getting caught greenish, blue tongued.

And for getting drunk on vanilla extract and food coloring, leaving him just a cup of flour and a can of frosting shy of being charged with impersonating a Christmas cookie.

We are proud to name Bryce Hinkel as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

JOHN EVANS: THE NEXT BEST THING TO AC/DC?

John Evans returns to the Rick and Len Show this morning and he is back in black! (You're going to have to watch the video below to see what I mean by that!)

John has been on multiple seasons of NBC's Last Comic Standing (which means he didn't win. But what do they know? He's funny!!!) Call 920-734-JOKE to see John this weekend at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton. (Plus, after a hot, humid week, wouldn't a big fruity girl drink really hit the spot?)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmLe2eiy1wo

DOUBLE RAINBOW GUY

Enjoy!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQSNhk5ICTI

VOTE ANNEX TO OPEN FOR KISS!

You can help get northeast Wisconsin's Annex into an opening slot at the Kiss concert September 2nd at the Marcus Amphitheatre!
Click here to vote. As of July 8th Annex was in the lead but not by much.

POP QUIZ, HOT SHOT!

Green Bay taxpayers could save more than $100,000 on the first phase of building of the Zippin Pippin roller-coaster at Bay Beach. The savings will come from:
a. shrewd bargaining.
b. low labor costs.
c. cost cutting ideas they received from the safety director at BP.

Green Bay Mayor Jim Schmitt has reportedly lost some of his enthusiasm for the Zippin Pippin roller coaster after he learned:
a. Elvis never actually rode on it.
b. public support has been less than overwhelming.
c. you must be at least this tall to ride this ride.

A priest in Connecticut is accused of embezzling 1.3 million dollars from the church that he allegedly spent on male escorts. This is very unusual since:
a. most priests would never do such a thing.
b. there aren't many male escorts in Connecticut.
c. normally a priest's partner doesn’t get a million dollars from the church until after a court settlement.

Doctors in New York state have helped a boy born with only half a face. The miraculous surgery was done using:
a. skin taken from the boy's legs and chest.
b. flesh-like latex prosthetics.
c. a donation from BP CEO Tony Hayward since that two faced son-of-a-bitch had one to spare.

A porn star has pledged to orally service every one of her Twitter followers if the Netherlands wins the World Cup. Since making the promise, the number of her Twitter followers has jumped from 15,000 to over 100,000. The toughest part of fulfilling her promise is expected to be:
a. spending that much time on her knees.
b. finding a space big enough to accommodate 100,000 horny guys.
c. turning down all the offers of assistance from George Michael.

An Abercrombie and Fitch store in New York City has had to temporarily close down because it's overrun with bed bugs. Store officials have responded by:
a. fumigating.
b. replacing their inventory.
c. changing the name of the store to Abercrombie and Itch.

Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in jail yesterday. The sentence shouldn't be to tough for Lindsay since:
a. she'll probably get paroled in a few hours.
b. she could be allowed to serve it at her home under house arrest.
c. after dating that Samantha chick, she's no stranger to spending 90 days in the hole.

WORLD CUPS!

This is the lingerie model from Paraguay who was going to run naked through the streets of a Paraguayan city if the team advanced in the World Cup. Note the AXE Body Spray logo on her breast. What better sign that your boobs are enormous than you can start selling advertising space on them. They're both a billboard and a cell phone cozy. That's right, her boobs are multi-tasking.

HONOR WWII VETS AND WIN A HARLEY WITH RICK AND LEN

All contest winners on the Rick and Len Show this week (through 7/9) are entered into a drawing for an Old Glory Honor Flight raffle ticket valued at $100. That ticket could win you a 2010 Harley Davidson Street Glide provided by Harley Davidson of Appleton or one of 17 huge cash prizes. Only 500 tickets are being sold. For more info on the raffle and a corresponding poker ride and party, click here.

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 7.6.10

June 30th City of Oshkosh
Police received a call at 7:10am from a 41-year-old man on West 10th Avenue who wanted to report a theft. When police arrived at the residence, the extremely intoxicated man told officers that he left a pizza in the residence, but a woman inside would not let him into the house to retrieve it. The man allegedly chest bumped an officer three times and then squared off to fight the officer. The man was arrested and jailed before being released on bond. At 9:56am police were called again after the released man returned to the residence to resume his search for his pizza. He was arrested again, this time for criminal trespass and was transported back to jail.


July 1st City of Shawano
A woman called police to report someone had been putting pine cones in her yard.

July 3rd City of Wisconsin Rapids
A man reported seeing a man wearing an orange shirt go underneath the Grand Avenue bridge but not come back up. Officers discovered the "man" was actually...an orange construction barrel.

June 14th City of Chilton
Police received a report of harassment on East Washington Street. Responding officers found it was an ongoing issue of one friend stealing another friend's "beer shirt" and then not giving it back. The responding officer returned the shirt to the rightful owner.

June 16th City of Green Bay
Police were called to a Marquette Avenue residence where a couple hit each other with a metal pan over an argument stemming from a man having trouble placing a fan in a bedroom window.

June 30th City of Beaver Dam
A woman on East Third Street called police and reported there were baby rabbits in her yard. The caller said there was no sign of a mother rabbit around and wanted police to do something about it.

July 2nd City of Wisconsin Rapids
An officer responded to two anonymous reports of a chicken running loose on Lincoln Street. The responding officer was unable to locate the loose-running chicken.

June 24th Village of Bayside
Police responded to a call from a resident on North Bayside Drive where their black lab was being attacked by a coyote. The coyote was chased off before police arrived by an angry dachshund.

WARD, I'M A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT THE BEAVER!

The city of Bemidji, Minnesota has erected a bunch of 4-foot tall "Beaver" sculptures, which were painted in a variety of bright colors by some local artists. However, one of the artists has been accused of painting a woman's private parts on the belly of one of the beavers. Says the woman, "I understand people see different things in art, and they need to be free to do that. My intent was to paint a praying woman."

So, what do you see? A woman praying or...something else?

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 6.2.10

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Mike Baumgartner of Madison who this week was busted for watching porn...while touching himself...at a McDonald's...in the play area. Baumgartner was reportedly typing with one hand and fondling himself with the other while watching pornographic images on his laptop with 15 to 20 children playing nearby. Baumgartner told the arresting officer he had just "exercised poor judgment".

So,

For not understanding that just because he's in the play area of a McDonald's doesn't mean he gets to stick his hand in his ball pit.

For not realizing that being in a McDonald's doesn't automatically mean you can touch your McNuggets.

for not just exercising poor judgment, but rather, the worst judgment anyone has exercised since Kurt Cobain said "I do".

And for punching the clown at McDonald's...and we don't mean Ronald.

We are proud to name Mike Baumgartner of Madison as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.

MIKE MERRYFIELD - FUNNY MOFO!

If I had a nickle for every time someone has said to me, "You know, that Mike Merryfield is one funny motherf#$%ker", I would be well on my way to a quarter. I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but I swear, nobody has ever said that to me about any of the other 400+ comics we've had on the Rick and Len Show over the years. So, he must be one funny mother#$%ker.

Tonight is WAPL night at Skyline Comedy Cafe which means you get 2 for 1 admission for this funny mofo. Or pay full price to see him on Friday or Saturday. He is, after all, full price funny! (Plus, he has an adorable little son, and if you don't go to Skyline this week, she won't eat! It's not that he needs the money for food. He just doesn't like to cook unless his little comedy show sells out! What an a-hole! But it's up to you. But I beg you, don't let her starve!)

Make your reservations at 920-734-JOKE.



http://www.rooftopcomedy.com//watch/DrunkenHumping

MEAT ME IN ATLANTA!

Maggots falling from a spoiled container of meat in someone's luggage forced a US Airways flight departing Atlanta to return to the gate Monday. The maggots were dropping on to passengers from the overhead compartment. Why would somebody be traveling with rotten meat? There must be a good explanation. Maybe ten good explanations!

REASONS FOR TRAVELING WITH A SUITCASE FULL OF ROTTEN MEAT.

10. The overpowering stench covers of the smell of alcohol on the pilot’s breath.

9. Inspiration for new movie about Samuel L. Jackson trying to get these mother frickin' maggots off this mother frickin' plane.

8. Meat was in a pair of pants left behind by the bag’s previous owner, Green Bay alderman Guy Zima.

7. No matter how rotten, stinky and maggot-filled the meat may be, it's still more appetizing than your in-flight meal.

6. Easier to keep track of your luggage if you can always smell where it is.

5. Dogs too busy gagging and vomiting to sniff your bag for drugs.

4. Since you can't travel with toothpaste or mouthwash, best not to travel with food that is edible.

3. Rolling it up to swat crawling maggots, only suitable use for otherwise worthless complimentary in-flight magazine.

2. Watching crawling maggots drop from the overhead compartment more interesting that watching another in-flight movie staring Kate Hudson.

1. Simple misunderstanding. Passenger thought carry-on was spelled "c-a-r-r-i-o-n".