THE BIRDS!

They have these large black birds here at the resort that are kind of brazen. I believe they are fan-tailed grackles. Some of the grackles will actually slip into the buffet areas and try to steal food. Occasionally, you'll see one of these bad boys grab a chip from the salsa bar or a bread stick off the salad bar and fly off. However, yesterday, one flew into the restaurant as I was eating breakfast. It landed on the table next to mine, grabbed 3 sugar packets from the table dispenser with his beak and and took off.

What he was doing with the packets of sugar I can't say for sure. If he was simply eating it, don't be surprised if someday you see a Mexican fan-tailed grackle replace Wilford Brimely as the spokesperson for diabetes supplies. However, I have another theory.

I think the grackles are stealing sugar to make crystal meth that they then sell to the howler monkeys. That would certainly explain why they're up so early in the morning making their god-awful sounds.

If you find yourself thinking “Hey, I didn't know you used sugar to make crystal meth” , then you must be making the Crystal Light meth!

--Rick--