Thursday, May 21, 2009

...BUT HER UTERUS DOESN'T LOOK A DAY OVER 30!

A 66 year old British woman is going to be giving birth in the Ukraine. As a public service of the Rick and Len Show, here's some signs....

YOU MIGHT BE TOO OLD TO BE GIVING BIRTH…

If your newborn has to learn to change your diaper before you learn to change his…you might be too old to be giving birth.

If instead of crying during the birth, your baby comes out sneezing from all the dust…you might be too old to be giving birth.

If the only thing you and your newborn have in common is the inability to chew solid foods…you might be too old to be giving birth.

If you can’t breast feed your new born because your milk is a quarter century past it's expiration date…you might be too old to be giving birth.

If you can't breast feed your new born without fear of bumping him in the head with your knee...you might be too old to be giving birth.

If your obstetrician opts for a cesarean birth just so your baby doesn’t have to fight through cobwebs to get out...you might be too old to be giving birth.

If chances are pretty good that your hip will break before your water does...you might be too old to be giving birth.

If you ever find yourself confusing your diaper bag with your colostomy bag...you might be too old to be giving birth.

If you’re hoping the baby is a boy just so you can name him Matlock...you are definitely too old to be giving birth.

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