For almost two full days now,
local TV stations have been warning,
of the big impending snow storm
that should kick into high gear late Tuesday morning.
Run for your life the snow is coming!
At Channel 11, Snowstorm Allison it is called.
They flash the weather map down in the corner
In an effort to keep us all frightened and enthralled.
Some even use the beeper
to make sure that you know they're really serious.
That snow is going to fall quite hard
And winds could be real furious.
I guess you just can't blame them
'Cuz you really must admit
this is about the most excitement
a meteorologist in Green Bay gets.
Bad weather to a meteorologist
is like a fix is to a stoner.
It makes George Graphos' eyes just light right up
and Cameron Moreland has got a boner!
That's right, at NBC 26 Cameron's got a weather woody!!!
He's engorged and he's tumescent!
And over there at Channel 5,
I bet Mahoney, Miller and Justin Whats-his-nuts are all just hard as ce-ment.
Even 5's Dana Tyler and Rebecca Schuld get excited
When the air turns moist and chilly.
I bet they'd even have lump in their loins,
if they each only had a willie.
At FOX 11, Powell, Petoniack, Thut and Higgins,
have got more wood than a forest full of poplars.
And are probably having sword fights
while fondling with their Dopplers.
And over at WBAY,
the excitement for Steve Beylon and Justin Zollitsch has just begun.
And Brad Spakowitz is REALLY turned on
knowing he could see 8 to 12 inches before the night is done.
Yes, blizzard-like conditions
will always excite a weather man.
'cuz it gets their blood a flowing
right to their nether glands.
That's why we can almost forgive them
for their two days of on-air ballyhoo.
You'd also be excited
if when a storm came, so did you!
Ricky,
ReplyDeleteThat shtuff is hillf****inglarious! Perhaps a bit risque for Wisconsin. I hate the weather freaks. Probably my biggest bitch is people who worry needlessly about the weather. If you can't wake up and look outside and determine what apparel is appropriate then call your mommy! By 8Th grade a Wisconsinite should be able to say "Hey! It's sunny. T shirt weather" Or "Crap! It's snowing, I'll put my boots and a jacket on" And don't even get me started on the government scare tactics. It's weather people! We have survived it since the dawn of man. Keep up the good work!