Wednesday, January 7, 2009

GETTING DEFENSIVE

Packer coach Mike McCarthy is reportedly close to signing Mike Nolan from the 49ers as thier new defensive coordinator. Here's some other folks McCarthy reportedly considered.

Bill Clinton: May know more than any man on earth about plugging holes.

Angelina Jolie: While most defensive coordinators would try to rebuild through the draft or free agency, Angelina could do so exclusively through adoption.

Former Packer punter Derek Frost: Could come in and really kick some ass. But obviously not hard enough to hurt anyone.

President George W. Bush: After Jarrett Bush led the team in penalties this season in addition to allowing a punt to hit him in the back during the Bear game that led to a Chicago score, it might be nice to have a Bush on the team who was even less competent.

Designer Tommy Hilfiger: May not know much about football, but can probably make a nice dress out of all the yellow flags thrown at the team this season.

Scarlett Johansson: We have no reason to believe she knows anything about designing a complex defensive game plan for a professional football team, but if the team did win a game, just think of how hot she would look in a tight white shirt soaked in ice cold Gatorade.

Senator Larry Craig: If the team has to have a defensive coordinator who sucks, it's got to be better to have one that does it in the privacy of an airport men's room instead of in front of 70,000 fans on game day.

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