Tom and Pete will haunt your dreams! (best part comes at 1:40, scariest part at 2:07!)
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
SNUGGIE OR SLANKET?
We know the most pressing question facing you this nasty Wisconsin winter is "Should I buy the original blanket with sleeves, the Slanket, or settle for it's cheaper imitation, the Snuggie"? Perhaps you need the WTF Blanket!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
MARY MACK WITH RICK MACK (NEAL)
Last Comic Standing semi-finalist and Northern Wisconsin's own Mary Mack joins Rick in the studio Friday morning (1.29) Make your reservations to see Mary at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton Thursday, Friday or Saturday night.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
SHAM-WOW TEST FRIES WAPL DUO
On Wednesday, Rick and Len decided to put to the test the absorbent powers of the ShamWow, that product you see advertised on TV all the time. At press time, disciplinary actions are still under consideration for your favorite radio duo. Stay tuned. To hear what caused all the ruckus...and the big mess, click here.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
DONALD DRIVER CHARITY SOFTBALL GAME
The second annual Donald Driver Charity Softball Game is set for Sunday, June 14th at Fox Cities Stadium. Donald will lead the Packers offense against the defense, fans get a chance to mingle with the players and snag autographs and the Donald Driver Foundation gets thousand of dollars. Those dollars are used to fund charities in Wisconsin and Driver's hometown of Houston, TX.
Tickets go on sale March 13th at the Fox Cities Stadium ticket office or online at
HEAVY METAL BAND NAME FLOW CHART
Check out this cool heavy metal name flow chart from Doogie Horner at Comic Vs. Audience website. (click to enlarge!)
Monday, January 26, 2009
ICE SEE A BOOBIE!
Russian figure skater Ekaterina Rubleva had a little wardrobe malfunction this weekend at the European Figure Skating Championships. (slow mo starts at about 1:45)
Thursday, January 22, 2009
BIL DWYER
Longtime friend of the Rick and Len Show, Bil Dwyer will join us in the studio Friday morning (1.23). You've probably seen Bil on the Tonight Show, on his own Comedy Central Special, on any one of the umpteen VH1 I Love the... shows or as the host of Battlebots.
Bil is appearing this week at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton. Make your reservations by calling 920-734-JOKE!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
OBAMANATION
I watched about nine hours of inauguration coverage on Tuesday. Nine hours of watching the peaceful transfer of power that sets the U.S. of A apart from so many other countries. Nine hours of seeing our great nation, it's history and it's system of government celebrated from all to see. Nine hours of unrelenting American pride. And for all this, the one thing that will stay with me is that when Aretha Franklin sang My Country Tis of Thee, she chose the middle of the word "country" to put a pregnant pause. It makes me wonder two things. 1. What is wrong with Aretha? and 2. What is wrong with me?
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
INAUGURATION LIBATIONS!
INAUGURATION DAY DRINKING GAME
Every time they show Joe Biden: take a shot, until your eyes are so out of focus his hair plug look totally natural.
Every time they show Vice President Cheney: drink three shots, one for each of the 6’s on his head.
If Cheney is sitting in his new wheelchair and is actually smiling: drink shots until you have more trouble walking than he does.
If they show Bill and Hillary acting like they actually love each other: drink something that will taste just as good coming back up and it was going down.
Every time they show President Bush looking as confused as a hungry baby in topless bar: drink a glass of warm milk.
If the station you’re watching shows a close-up of the press corps: start drinking brews until your beer goggles are so thick you’d bang Helen Thomas.
Every time MS-NBC shows a shot of Keith Olbermann or Chris Matthews, take a drink: of anything. Just to take your eyes off the TV long enough so you don’t find yourself looking at their very noticeable Obama boners.
If outgoing Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice gets caught up in the spirit of “change” and decides to use the occasion to finally “come out” by snaking her tongue down Cheney’s lesbian daughter’s throat. Like them, enjoy the licker of your choice.
Every time Obama says the word “change” during his speech: DO NOT DRINK!!! We’re not trying to kill people here. If you took even just a sip every time he said the “c” word, you’d die. Seriously. Even if you only drank water, you will drown!
And if, following President Obama’s speech, you find yourself glowing with optimism, certain that all the problems of the last 8 years are about to magically disappear and all will be right with the world: drink a case of Red Bull You gotta wake up, man! You are dreaming!
Every time they show Joe Biden: take a shot, until your eyes are so out of focus his hair plug look totally natural.
Every time they show Vice President Cheney: drink three shots, one for each of the 6’s on his head.
If Cheney is sitting in his new wheelchair and is actually smiling: drink shots until you have more trouble walking than he does.
If they show Bill and Hillary acting like they actually love each other: drink something that will taste just as good coming back up and it was going down.
Every time they show President Bush looking as confused as a hungry baby in topless bar: drink a glass of warm milk.
If the station you’re watching shows a close-up of the press corps: start drinking brews until your beer goggles are so thick you’d bang Helen Thomas.
Every time MS-NBC shows a shot of Keith Olbermann or Chris Matthews, take a drink: of anything. Just to take your eyes off the TV long enough so you don’t find yourself looking at their very noticeable Obama boners.
If outgoing Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice gets caught up in the spirit of “change” and decides to use the occasion to finally “come out” by snaking her tongue down Cheney’s lesbian daughter’s throat. Like them, enjoy the licker of your choice.
Every time Obama says the word “change” during his speech: DO NOT DRINK!!! We’re not trying to kill people here. If you took even just a sip every time he said the “c” word, you’d die. Seriously. Even if you only drank water, you will drown!
And if, following President Obama’s speech, you find yourself glowing with optimism, certain that all the problems of the last 8 years are about to magically disappear and all will be right with the world: drink a case of Red Bull You gotta wake up, man! You are dreaming!
Monday, January 19, 2009
MEET THE NEW BOSS, SAME AS THE OLD BOSS?
Well, one administration comes to an end and another begins. They say the Obama inauguration will cost about 45 million dollars. While that all comes from donations, I still can't help but think that there are a lot better ways to spend that kind of jing. Face it, 45 mill is more than just spare change that we can believe in!
Join us for the Rick adn Len Show Tuesday morning for your Inauguration speech drinking game!
Until then, enjoy the Late Show's look back at 8 years of Great Moments in Presidential Speeches!
Join us for the Rick adn Len Show Tuesday morning for your Inauguration speech drinking game!
Until then, enjoy the Late Show's look back at 8 years of Great Moments in Presidential Speeches!
Friday, January 16, 2009
PLANE AMAZING!
How amazing was the story of flight 1549? The pilot lands the disabled plane in the Hudson River and not one casualty! Well done, sir! As a public service, here's some signs to look for before you fly to make sure you're not on an unsafe plane.
If the hinges on the door are so loose, they’ve been mistaken for members of the Hilton family: you might be flying on an unsafe plane.
If even before take-off, the air traffic controllers are betting on where officials will find the black box: you might be flying on an unsafe plane.
If the cockpit windshield has more cracks than a plumbers’ convention: you might be flying on an unsafe plane.
If the safety demonstration is 10 seconds of how to properly fasten your seatbelt, 10 seconds of how to properly use the oxygen mask and 10 minutes on how to properly make the sign of the cross: you might be flying on an unsafe plane.
If the flight attendant couldn’t look more terrified if she was receiving a private knife demonstration for O.J: you might be flying on an unsafe plane.
If the alligator whose skin was used to make your expensive luggage has a better chance of arriving at your destination in one piece than you do: you’re definitely flying on an unsafe plane.
If the hinges on the door are so loose, they’ve been mistaken for members of the Hilton family: you might be flying on an unsafe plane.
If even before take-off, the air traffic controllers are betting on where officials will find the black box: you might be flying on an unsafe plane.
If the cockpit windshield has more cracks than a plumbers’ convention: you might be flying on an unsafe plane.
If the safety demonstration is 10 seconds of how to properly fasten your seatbelt, 10 seconds of how to properly use the oxygen mask and 10 minutes on how to properly make the sign of the cross: you might be flying on an unsafe plane.
If the flight attendant couldn’t look more terrified if she was receiving a private knife demonstration for O.J: you might be flying on an unsafe plane.
If the alligator whose skin was used to make your expensive luggage has a better chance of arriving at your destination in one piece than you do: you’re definitely flying on an unsafe plane.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
DECISIONS, DECISIONS!
What a tough week? How does one decide who is more deserving of Weenie of the Week? Administrators in Brillion and Valders who didn't cancel school in 40 below zero wind chills. Or, is whomever decided to just delay classes by 2 hours in Laona even worse? What did they think Laona was going to have an isolated heat wave after 10am?
And how do either of those decision makers stack up against the jackasses who ran down the deer with their snowmobiles in Waupaca County? Or the other jackass on a snowmobile who ran over and killed 57 duck in Fond du Lac.
Both the snowmobilers and the school administrators are deserving but for such very, very different reasons. Join us Friday morning between 6 and 10 to find out who has earned the distinction of being this week's Rick and Len...WEENIE (or WEENIES) OF THE WEEK!
And how do either of those decision makers stack up against the jackasses who ran down the deer with their snowmobiles in Waupaca County? Or the other jackass on a snowmobile who ran over and killed 57 duck in Fond du Lac.
Both the snowmobilers and the school administrators are deserving but for such very, very different reasons. Join us Friday morning between 6 and 10 to find out who has earned the distinction of being this week's Rick and Len...WEENIE (or WEENIES) OF THE WEEK!
LACHLAN PATTERSON
Lachlan Patterson, who's appearing tonight (1.15) through Saturday (1.17) at the Skyline Comedy Cafe, will be joining us in the studio for the Rick and Len show at 8am Friday. To make your reservations to see Lachlan, call Skyline at 734-JOKE (734-5653)
B-A-N-A-N-A-S!
Did you catch this guy singing a song about a banana on American Idol? I'm not sure what that was all about, but I'd be willing to bet you 50 bucks it gave Ryan Seacrest a boner!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
ANOTHER MILLION DOLLAR IDEA
Len had a bit of tummy trouble on Tuesday. He went home early, had a puke and a nap and was back Wednesday morning. As we all know, vomit is not a pleasant thing, but the geniuses at the Rick and Len Show think that science could come to the rescue. If you can't treat the illness, treat the vomit. Why doesn't someone come up with a pill or liquid medicine-type thing that would make your puke taste better? Like black cherry, apple, or even beer flavor? Let's get to work people. Someone's gonna make a million off this idea!
CHEERS AND JEERS!
The Ashwaubenon woman who tried to pass herself off as her daughter so she could enroll at Ashwaubenon High School was in court this week.
Authorities should have caught on when she used these cheers.
Beat our opponents
They're no friends.
Under my skirt
I’m wearing Depends.
Our team's great!
Your team sucks!
It's hard to cheer
With acid reflux!
Boom boom boom
Bam bam bam
We'll flatten you like
my boob getting a mammogram.
Strike like a cobra
Fly like a swan.
I'll miss this game
Because Matlock's on.
We've got spirit
Yes we do.
I've got to take
Stool softener to poo.
Our team's hot
As fire and ash.
Or maybe I'm having
Another hot flash.
Authorities should have caught on when she used these cheers.
Beat our opponents
They're no friends.
Under my skirt
I’m wearing Depends.
Our team's great!
Your team sucks!
It's hard to cheer
With acid reflux!
Boom boom boom
Bam bam bam
We'll flatten you like
my boob getting a mammogram.
Strike like a cobra
Fly like a swan.
I'll miss this game
Because Matlock's on.
We've got spirit
Yes we do.
I've got to take
Stool softener to poo.
Our team's hot
As fire and ash.
Or maybe I'm having
Another hot flash.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
COWBELL ER NO CONTEST! PLAY AND WIN!!!!
Wednesday brings another edition of Cowbell Er No on the Rick and Len Show. But why wait to play? Try the on-line edition. You could be a winner!
Here's five songs. Theme: This f'n winter.
1. Snowblind by Styx
2. Cold as Ice by Foreigner
3. Cold Ethel by Alice Cooper
4. Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice
5. Stone Cold by Rainbow
Decide if they have a Cowbell er no. E-mail you answers to Rick. If you get at least 3 out of 5, we'll put you in a drawing for a $50.00 gift card!
While you're working on that, watch this informative video that will help you master the cowbell!
Here's five songs. Theme: This f'n winter.
1. Snowblind by Styx
2. Cold as Ice by Foreigner
3. Cold Ethel by Alice Cooper
4. Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice
5. Stone Cold by Rainbow
Decide if they have a Cowbell er no. E-mail you answers to Rick. If you get at least 3 out of 5, we'll put you in a drawing for a $50.00 gift card!
While you're working on that, watch this informative video that will help you master the cowbell!
Monday, January 12, 2009
VIC ROCKS WITH THE SYMPHONY
This past weekend Len caught the Vic Ferrari Band in concert with an all-star symphony orchestra at Waverly Beach (the annual Pops and Hops show). It was spectacular! Pink Floyd, Beatles, Queen, Zeppelin and more sound so cool when backed by strings and horns and percussion. You can see the same show Feb. 28 at the Weil Center in Sheboygan, March 7th at the Meyer Theatre in Green Bay and March 14th at Sentry World in Stevens Point. Click here for ticket ordering info.
Friday, January 9, 2009
LOST IN THE TRANSLATION
This past week on the Rick and Len Show we started a new contest. If you missed it, here's how it works. We take the lyrics from a famous rock song and use an internet translation site such as http://www.babelfish.yahoo.com/ to translate them to a foreign language. Then, we use the same site to translate the lyrics back to English. Somewhere along the way, something gets "Lost in the Translation" and ends up as what we call "Rockeltygook".
For instance, here are some of the original lyrics to Highway to Hell:
Living easy, living free.
Season ticket on a one-way ride.
Asking nothing, leave me be.
Taking everything in my stride.
Do not need reason, do not need rhyme.
Nothing I would rather do.
Going down, party time.
My friends are going be there too.
I'm on the highway to hell.
And here's the same lyrics after being translated into Spanish and back into English:
Easy alive, life releases.
Bond of season in a unidirectional stroll.
Not requesting anything, déjeme is.
To take everything in my great step.
It does not need the reason, do not need rhyme.
Nothing that would do something.
Going down, time of the party.
My friendly go are there also.
I' m in the highway to hell.
And after being translated to Greek and back:
Existence easy, existence free.
Ticket of duration in a one way road tour.
Not asking nothing, you leave me they are.
Reception of all in my stride.
Do not need the reason, it does not need the reason.
nothing that I would make rather.
Going under, time of contracting parts.
My friends go are there also.
I' m in the national road in the hell.
On Monday's we'll translate some more lyrics and see if you can guess what song they come from. Don't miss it!
For instance, here are some of the original lyrics to Highway to Hell:
Living easy, living free.
Season ticket on a one-way ride.
Asking nothing, leave me be.
Taking everything in my stride.
Do not need reason, do not need rhyme.
Nothing I would rather do.
Going down, party time.
My friends are going be there too.
I'm on the highway to hell.
And here's the same lyrics after being translated into Spanish and back into English:
Easy alive, life releases.
Bond of season in a unidirectional stroll.
Not requesting anything, déjeme is.
To take everything in my great step.
It does not need the reason, do not need rhyme.
Nothing that would do something.
Going down, time of the party.
My friendly go are there also.
I' m in the highway to hell.
And after being translated to Greek and back:
Existence easy, existence free.
Ticket of duration in a one way road tour.
Not asking nothing, you leave me they are.
Reception of all in my stride.
Do not need the reason, it does not need the reason.
nothing that I would make rather.
Going under, time of contracting parts.
My friends go are there also.
I' m in the national road in the hell.
On Monday's we'll translate some more lyrics and see if you can guess what song they come from. Don't miss it!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
DEAD WRONG!
Our 2006 Weenies of the Year are back in the news. You probably remember the 3 guys in southern Wisconsin who, after seeing a picture of an attractive girl in her obituary, tried to dig her up for a little afterlife loving. Now their attorney is claiming the police didn't have "probable cause" to arrest them.
What has happened to this country when 3 guys can't even hang out at the cemetary after-hours armed with a shovel and condoms without getting hasseled by the man?
On the other hand, somebody should have told these guys that no matter how HOT a woman may look in her obituary photo, at best, she's only luke warm by time you dig her up!
What has happened to this country when 3 guys can't even hang out at the cemetary after-hours armed with a shovel and condoms without getting hasseled by the man?
On the other hand, somebody should have told these guys that no matter how HOT a woman may look in her obituary photo, at best, she's only luke warm by time you dig her up!
DIGGING DOUG
Doug Benson will join us in the studio for the Rick and Len show Friday morning from 8 to 9. Doug is in town for a "special engagement" Friday and Saturday nights only at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton. Make reservations at 920-734-JOKE.
You've probably seen Doug on Last Comic Standing or VH1's Best Week Ever. He is also the star of the documentary Super High Me and co-creator of the stage show The Marijuana-logues which earned him the honor of being named High Times Magazine's 2006 Stoner of the year!
His new Comedy Central Special premiers Friday night!
Here's a little Doug:
You've probably seen Doug on Last Comic Standing or VH1's Best Week Ever. He is also the star of the documentary Super High Me and co-creator of the stage show The Marijuana-logues which earned him the honor of being named High Times Magazine's 2006 Stoner of the year!
His new Comedy Central Special premiers Friday night!
Here's a little Doug:
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
IT'S OKAY TO LOVE YOUR HAIR METAL...JUST DON'T LOOOOOVE YOUR HAIR METAL!
By popular demand, here's the actual x-ray of the Australian woman hospitalized with an extra large can of hairspray lodged in her backdoor that Rick and Len were talking about.
She told doctors that the can got jammed there when she "tripped and fell...honest!"
If you believe that you probably also believe the only thing keeping the Packers from playing in the Super Bowl is the lack of available hotel space in Tampa and that Richard Simmons just hasn't found the right woman!
GETTING DEFENSIVE
Packer coach Mike McCarthy is reportedly close to signing Mike Nolan from the 49ers as thier new defensive coordinator. Here's some other folks McCarthy reportedly considered.
Bill Clinton: May know more than any man on earth about plugging holes.
Angelina Jolie: While most defensive coordinators would try to rebuild through the draft or free agency, Angelina could do so exclusively through adoption.
Former Packer punter Derek Frost: Could come in and really kick some ass. But obviously not hard enough to hurt anyone.
President George W. Bush: After Jarrett Bush led the team in penalties this season in addition to allowing a punt to hit him in the back during the Bear game that led to a Chicago score, it might be nice to have a Bush on the team who was even less competent.
Designer Tommy Hilfiger: May not know much about football, but can probably make a nice dress out of all the yellow flags thrown at the team this season.
Scarlett Johansson: We have no reason to believe she knows anything about designing a complex defensive game plan for a professional football team, but if the team did win a game, just think of how hot she would look in a tight white shirt soaked in ice cold Gatorade.
Senator Larry Craig: If the team has to have a defensive coordinator who sucks, it's got to be better to have one that does it in the privacy of an airport men's room instead of in front of 70,000 fans on game day.
Bill Clinton: May know more than any man on earth about plugging holes.
Angelina Jolie: While most defensive coordinators would try to rebuild through the draft or free agency, Angelina could do so exclusively through adoption.
Former Packer punter Derek Frost: Could come in and really kick some ass. But obviously not hard enough to hurt anyone.
President George W. Bush: After Jarrett Bush led the team in penalties this season in addition to allowing a punt to hit him in the back during the Bear game that led to a Chicago score, it might be nice to have a Bush on the team who was even less competent.
Designer Tommy Hilfiger: May not know much about football, but can probably make a nice dress out of all the yellow flags thrown at the team this season.
Scarlett Johansson: We have no reason to believe she knows anything about designing a complex defensive game plan for a professional football team, but if the team did win a game, just think of how hot she would look in a tight white shirt soaked in ice cold Gatorade.
Senator Larry Craig: If the team has to have a defensive coordinator who sucks, it's got to be better to have one that does it in the privacy of an airport men's room instead of in front of 70,000 fans on game day.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
BOOBS AND TUBES
Have you seen the new season of Bret Michaels Rock of Love Bus on VH-1? It's dumb ass, huge hootered, uber-skanks on wheels! Sweet God almighty, these are the most brain dead women with the largest lung warts in history. Apparently, brains and silicone can not exist in the same body. Punxatawny Phil sees the sun more often than their feet do!
On the premier episode, one of the girls drank a shot from a test tube that one of the other girl was, ahhhh, holding with her downtown lady parts. Classy! For her sake, I hope she used the shot to wash down her Valtrex.
But holy crap are most these women stupid. They make the contestents on previous seasons seem like a bunch or Albert Einstein's (but with great racks!)
However, you'd have a easier time finding a vegetarian in a buzzard flock than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
A easier time finding a pork chop in a synagogue than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
A easier time finding an attorney in heaven than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
You'd have a easier time finding a Super Bowl Trophy in Minnesota.
A woman's name in Ryan Seacrest's black book.
Groupies backstage at The View than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
You'd have a easier time finding an Illinois governor with his hand in his own pocket.
A non-deaf person at a Celine Dion concert.
A defensive coach in Green Bay with a job than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
You'd have a easier time finding a condom machine in the Vatican.
A sober bridesmaid at a Menasha wedding.
A solid bowel movement in the men’s room at 60 Minutes than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
In fact, you'd have a easier time finding a virgin on the Rock of Love bus…than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
A easier time finding a square inch of the Rock of Love bus not covered in skank juice than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
A easier time finding a good reason to watch Rock of Love Bus than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus. (Except, of course, for the boobs. Did I mention the boobs? Yeah, them is some mighty big boobs!)
On the premier episode, one of the girls drank a shot from a test tube that one of the other girl was, ahhhh, holding with her downtown lady parts. Classy! For her sake, I hope she used the shot to wash down her Valtrex.
But holy crap are most these women stupid. They make the contestents on previous seasons seem like a bunch or Albert Einstein's (but with great racks!)
However, you'd have a easier time finding a vegetarian in a buzzard flock than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
A easier time finding a pork chop in a synagogue than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
A easier time finding an attorney in heaven than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
You'd have a easier time finding a Super Bowl Trophy in Minnesota.
A woman's name in Ryan Seacrest's black book.
Groupies backstage at The View than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
You'd have a easier time finding an Illinois governor with his hand in his own pocket.
A non-deaf person at a Celine Dion concert.
A defensive coach in Green Bay with a job than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
You'd have a easier time finding a condom machine in the Vatican.
A sober bridesmaid at a Menasha wedding.
A solid bowel movement in the men’s room at 60 Minutes than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
In fact, you'd have a easier time finding a virgin on the Rock of Love bus…than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
A easier time finding a square inch of the Rock of Love bus not covered in skank juice than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus.
A easier time finding a good reason to watch Rock of Love Bus than finding a brain cell on the Rock of Love bus. (Except, of course, for the boobs. Did I mention the boobs? Yeah, them is some mighty big boobs!)
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