MICHAEL LOFTUS AT SKYLINE!!!

Check out the tremendously funny Michael Loftus at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton!
Click here for an example of his act.
Make reservations here.

BEST FAVRE T-SHIRT EVER!

TOO OLD TO HAVE A BABY? DEPENDS...

Madonna wants to have another natural-born baby. She's 51. In Great Britain they're allowing a 59-year-old woman to undergo in-vitro fertilization. Is this a good idea? We don't think so. Here are some signs that YOU MIGHT BE TOO OLD TO BE GIVING BIRTH!

*If your newborn has to learn how to change your diaper before you learn how to change his...you might be too old to be giving birth.

*If the only thing you have in comon with your newborn is the inability to chew solid food...you might be too old to be giving birth.

*If you can't breastfeed your baby because your milk is about a quarter-century past its expiration date...you might be too old to be giving birth.

*If you can breastfeed your baby because you're afraid you might bump him in the head with your knee...you might be too old to be giving birth.

*If your obstetrician opts for cesarean birth so your baby doesn't have to fight its way through cobwebs just to get out...you might be too old to be giving birth.

*If chances are pretty good that your hip will break before your water does...you might be too old to be giving birth.

*If you eve find yourself confusing a diaper bag with your colostomy bag...you might be too old to be giving birth.

*If you're hoping the baby is a boy just so you can name him "Matlock"...you might be too old to be giving birth.

*And if instead of crying, your baby comes out sneezing from all the dust...you're definitely too old to be giving birth!

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 1.25.10

January 2nd City of Neenah
A 19-year-old Neenah man reported that someone dumped spaghetti sauce, maple syrup, oatmeal and onions onto his car during the night. Police traced the containers, which were left behind, to the Neenah Wal-Mart, and the store used the UPC codes on the containers to pinpoint the purchases earlier in the night. The store will review surveillance videos to help police identify the suspect or suspects.

January 9th City of Muskego
Police were called to a Hidden Creek Court residence where a wife who was upset that her husband was receiving text messages from another woman attacked him with a vacuum cleaner attachment.

January 16th City of Portage
Officers responded to a report of two boys vandalizing carts at the Wal-mart. The boys, ages 14 and 16, both of Plainfield, Ill., reportedly told police that they making their own fun because it was boring in Wisconsin.

January 12th City of New Berlin
Police responded to a man falling off of a ladder at the Citgo while attempting to clear snow off of a satellite dish on the roof of the station so that he could buy a lottery ticket. The snow had disabled the signal for the ticket machine, so the man retrieved a ladder from his own residence and returned to clear it. He fell from the ladder and was bleeding from the nose when officers arrived. Police smelled alcohol on the man and arrested him for drunken driving.

January 14th Village of Bellevue
A man called police to report that while visiting someone’s home , he saw what he believed to be marijuana on their living room table.

January 9th City of Green Bay
Police were called to a Pine Street residence where an 18-year-old woman bit the finger of a 64-year-old woman who pulled her hair during a dispute. The 64-year-old was taken into custody.

January 11th City of Brookfield
Police received a report of drunken tobogganing on the sledding hill in Village Park.

January 14th City of Portage
Police responded to a call from Walgreen’s where store personnel apprehended a juvenile in the act of attempting to steal a bag of Wonka Nerds.

SHOULD BRETT CALL IT QUITS...PART 3

Here's our Top Ten Reasons for Brett Favre to finally retire...again.

10) So he can unretire and then skip most of training camp before joining team president Mike Holmgren's Cleveland Browns.

9) Did you see that roll out and then throw all the way back across the field into traffic pass for an interception at crunch time he threw last night? There's your reason to retire right there.

8) So he can devote more energy to his secondary career as a commercial spokesman...for mobility scooters.

7) So he can spend more time with his family. That may not be true, but that's what everybody who retires says.

6) So he can pull a weekend shift at Favre's Steakhouse once in a while. Good help is hard to find.

5) So he can watch the new big screen TV he finally decided to buy from the little weasel of a sales guy in the Sears commercial.

4) Because Deanna's Honey-do list ain't getting any shorter.

3) So he can start leaking rumors about changing his mind and making a comeback again because, y'know, having your own category on the sports crawl at the bottom of the screen is so freaking cool!

2) Because he has nothing left. If what I heard is true, he left it all on the field last night, and since it was in New Orleans, somebody stole all of it. Nothing left.

And the number one reason Brett Favre should retire for good...
He's now old enough to get Medicare and no longer needs employer-subsidized health insurance.

WTF? SERIOUSLY, WTF?

While it may be difficult for us to to understand the crazy behind-the-scenes goings-on at NBC late night, it must be even more difficult for viewers in other countries (though I'm not sure why they would care!).

Thankfully, NMA, a Hong Kong NEWS organization has prepared this animated report that makes the whole mess so easy to follow, even a 5 year old could understand it. Well, a 5 year old on acid.

Seriously, WTF?

A TISKET, A CASKET...

No matter if you're looking for the ultimate piece of Brett Favre memorabilia, a creepy decoration for next Halloween, a neat place to store the beer during your NFC Championship Game viewing party, or just a cheap way to dispose of Aunt Myrtle, we've got just the thing.

It's the coffin from this past fall's Funeral 4 Favre. This sturdy wooden coffin, lined in purple and bearing the number 4 on the lid is just the thing. It even has rope handles for easy pallbearing.

The coffin is hand made by Jon Kirk from the Wisconsin Hearse Organization and has been shown in numerous newspaper articles and on many TV newscasts! Professional news photographers have literally crawled over each other to take it's picture! Hundreds, maybe even thousands (seriously!) photographed the coffin while Brett's body (or a reasonable facsimile, there of) lay in it while in state at Tom, Dick and Harrys!

NOW IT CAN BE YOURS!!!!

Call the Rick and Len Show this morning (1.20) between 6 and about 9:50 and place your bid. All the money will go to charity!

UPDATE: Bidding is now closed. The coffin sold for $450.00. The winner will split his contribution between The Red Cross's Haiti relief fund and Children's Hospital.

Thanks to all who participated!

NESTLE'S CRUNCH "FUNNER" PHONE LINE

Nestle's Chocolate have a freaky message on their toll free line. If you missed it on the Rick and Len Show, dial it up yourself. The number is 1-800-295-0051. You'll be prompted to press/say 1 for English and 4 for "funner" options. Our favorite "funner" option is 7 (COOTIES!). Enjoy!

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 1.18.10

December 12th Town of Saxeville
Police received a report of a car being toilet papered and vandalized with toothpaste, tomato juice and sardines.

December 27th City of Oshkosh
A man who was about to throw a television set during a disturbance at a residence on Bayshore Drive was arrested for disorderly conduct. He put the television set down when police pounded on the door.

January 8th City of Beaver Dam
A 51-year-old man reported that two women were at his apartment and were spilling drinks and were trashing the apartment. When police arrived, the man said he just wanted to talk and was upset because one of the women was drinking a cola. The man was advised not to let that woman come over anymore.

December 27th City of Menasha
A couple was arguing on 2nd Street about not being able to get the gas cap off the car. Neither person was visibly upset or crying and a child inside the running car was calm. The couple told an officer they were just frustrated over the car's problems. The officer assisted in removing the cap and the couple felt better.

December 29th City of Glendale
A 30-year-old woman was arrested for theft of more than $300 worth of clothing. While in the fitting room, the woman damaged a pair of jeans while removing the sensor tag and then asked a clerk for a pair that wasn't damaged. When police arrived, they found she also had a jacket stuffed into her stocking.

January 13th City of Fond du Lac
Police were called to Calumet Apartments for a loud noise complaint. An Officer pounded on the man's third-floor door and recognized the songs of the late singer John Denver. Williams asked the man why the music was so loud. The man responded he was just…"rocking out."

CAMPBELLS CLICK FOR CANS NFC CHAMPIONSHIP

The annual Campbell's Chunky soup "Click for Cans" online food drive is in its conference championship week and Packers fans are being called upon to "click" their team to victory.

Fans are encouraged to vote online at www.clickforcans.com through Jan. 18. Individuals can vote once a day.

A win this week over the New Orleans Saints would secure 13,000 cans of soup to be donated to Wisconsin hunger relief efforts. A total of 1,000 cans automatically go to each team, and a Packers' conference championship win earns another 12,000 cans.

Should Packers fans "click" their team to victory this week, the Green and Gold then will challenge for its eighth consecutive league title next week and the additional 5,000 cans of soup.

In winning each of the past seven contests, Packers' fans have earned approximately 98,000 cans of soup for Wisconsin hunger relief efforts through the virtual food drive.

THE MIRACLE LEAGUE...help make the miracle!

A cool thing is about to happen for mentally and physically disabled kids the the Fox Cities...a Baseball League just for them!
It's called The Miracle League of the Fox Valley and play begins on a specialized rubber field this summer.
There's an open house and registration scheduled for Saturday, January 30th. Click here for details.
They're also looking for volunteers to serve as "buddies" for the athletes.

BRITISH COPS SLEDDING ON THEIR RIOT SHIELDS

Some British bobbies have been reprimanded after they used their riot shields as makeshift sleds during the country's cold snap.

A passer-by filmed the bobbies goofing around on a snowy hill in Oxford and posted the clip on YouTube. It shows a policeman barreling downhill while another shouts, "Whatever happens, keep smiling!"

HAITIAN EARTHQUAKE RELIEF

With the death toll expected to exceed 100,000 and much of what was already the poorest nation in the Western Hemisphere devastated, your help is desperately needed!

One quick, painless way to help is by texting. You can make a $10 donation to the Red Cross by texting the word "Haiti" to the number 90999. Your donation will be simply added to your monthly cell phone bill.

For making contributions on-line:

Click here for Global Giving

Click here for the Red Cross

Click here for Oxfam America

Click here for the World Food Programme

THE REASON THE PACKER DEFENSE LOOKED SO SLUGGISH

Check out this video of Packer defensive coordinator Don Capers catching a little shut-eye during the 3rd quarter of Sunday's game.

HELP FERBER SCHOOL WIN 100-GRAND!

Edna Ferber Elementary School in Appleton is very close to winning $100,000 from US Cellular in the company's "Calling All Communities" contest. They are giving ten schools an equal share of one-million dollars!
If Ferber finishes in the top ten in voting, they'll get the money. Right now they are just outside the top ten and they need your help.
The school plans to use the money for a new playground and new technology upgrades...plus they'll donate $10,000 to the Miracle League, which is a baseball league for disabled kids in the Fox Cities.
DEADLINE FOR VOTING IS FRIDAY, JAN. 15!!!
Click here for voting info.

SOUPS ON!

The Outagamie Chapter of the American Red Cross is hosting its 16th Annual Soup's On fundraising event on January 21st, 2010 at the Grand Meridian in Appleton. Funds are being raised for the much needed services provided to nearly 10,000 people annually by the Outagamie Chapter. For more information...click here!

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 1.11.10

December 16th City of Menasha
A woman called police to report being rammed by a shopping cart.

January 1st City of Marshfield
A man called police to report that friends of his children left 10 discarded Christmas trees and an old wash machine on his lawn.

January 7th City of Beaver Dam
A caller reported that a woman stole a blanket from the washing machine while she was doing her wash at Maytag Laundry.


December 31st City of Beaver Dam
Police responded to a 911 call from a 16-year-old who had gotten into a fight with her brother over a video game.

January 7th City of Portage
Police took a report of a theft of a package of hotdogs from a refrigerator inside a locked apartment on Silver Lake Drive.

January 7th City of Beaver Dam
A 78-year-old man called police and said that he wanted an officer and then hung up. When police called the man back, he told them he wanted an officer to convince his wife that no one was using their driveway.

LAUNCHPAD CAN BE YOUR LAUNCHPAD TO FAME

Launchpad is a music competition for high school students who are in bands formed outside of school. You'll compete against your peers in a regional concert extravaganza. The top three finalists from each region then compete in Madison for the grand prize: free studio recording time in Madison, a Summerfest appearance and the Les Paul Launchpad Award. For more information, click here!

GOLF INSIDE OUTING FOR CAP SERVICES

Join an estimated 350 participants as they golf nine holes INDOORS and raise money for CAP Services January 28th at the Radisson Paper Valley Hotel.

For more information about this cool event click here!

You can purchase tickets at Community 1st Credit Union locations or to order on-line ... click here!

JAY'S WALKING?

Following NBC's announcement that they've canceled The Jay Leno Show and are planning to put Jay back in his old time slot while bumping Conan back a half hour, the folks at TMZ have created this game.

Click here to play! Just make Conan catch his ever-changing contract without running into Jay bighead.

JON REEP KICKED OUT OF PANTHER'S GAME

See "The Hemi Guy" himself, John Reep, tonight (1.8) or tomorrow night (1.9) at Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton! Make your reservations at 920-734-JOKE!

IF YOU THOUGHT THE PIC BELOW WAS SCARY...

...check out this freshly unearthed 1988 video of a pissed off Mike Ditka doing a post game interview in his underpants. (language NSFW)

DISTURBING. JUST DISTURBING!

This is the pic that John Jordan had set as the wallpaper on the computer we share in the studio. I may never sleep again!

- Rick -

SMALL TOWN CRIME WAVE 1.4.10

December 23rd City of Beaver Dam
Police responded to a 9-1-1 call made from a Pleasant Street residence. A 30 year old man and his 28 year old girlfriend were involved in a dispute over Christmas gifts.

December 23rd City of Oshkosh
Police busted a 57-year-old woman at Festival Foods attempting to steal one can of coffee and a head of cauliflower.

December 20th Village of Whitefish Bay
Two drivers reported their cars being struck by flying groceries on Hampton Avenue. One drivers car was hit with a cup of pudding and the other, with a can of peas.

December 30th Town of Emmett
A man residing at Hidden Meadows Trailer Park called the Dodge County Sheriff’s Department to report the theft of the Baby Jesus. According to investigators, the culprit also made off with Joseph but left Mary laying in the snow.

December 11th City of Neenah
A caller on Nicolet Boulevard told police that someone stole a "Ho" from her yard. It was one of three "Ho's" on her fence which previously spelled out "Ho Ho Ho" and now just reads only "Ho Ho".

December 18th City of Wauwatosa
The clerk on duty at the Mobil Mart called police to report that while he had several customers in line, a woman in the food section started screaming that someone needed to come clean up the microwave immediately. She continued to yell and make threats, finally taking pictures of the clerk with her cell phone as she left the store.

December 3rd City of Neenah
A complainant on Hazel Street called police to report that she saw two people steal a blue scarf from the snowman in her yard.

December 9th City of Chilton
A mother on Highway K reported that her son was plowing
snow and was putting it in front of her vehicle so she couldn't leave. She said he was doing this out of meanness.

December 3rd City of Neenah
A 37-year-old Adams Street man asked police to remove a 12-gauge shotgun from his house because the shotgun was evil.