JAY WALKING!

REASONS JAY CUTLER CALLED OFF HIS UPCOMING WEDDING TO MTV STAR KRISTIN CAVALLARI

10. Caught her wearing his mascara.

9. Couldn't walk all the way down the aisle without re-injuring knee.

8. They couldn't decide on a gown...or which one would get to wear it.

7. Found out that unlike the team he plays for, she doesn't suck.

6. Was afraid people would see him cry in church which wouldn't be manly the way it is on a football field.

5. He couldn't find a garter in Bears' colors and his size.

4. Realized they weren't really compatible when he learned she has a vagina.

3. Only store they could register at was Bed Bath and Beyond All Comprehension Why This Guy is a Starting NFL Quarterback.

2. While they didn't know what they were going to receive that was "something old, something new or something borrowed" the something "blew" was what he did to his team's chances of winning the 2011 NFC Championship game.

1. What? Jay Cutler quit on something. Say it ain'’t so. Next thing you’re going to be telling me is Amy Winehouse didn't die of natural causes!

T.J. MILLER JOINS US FRIDAY MORNING...AND HE HAS SOME EXPERIENCE WITH BEARS!

Comic and actor T.J. Miller will join us again Friday morning. He's appearing this week at the Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton. He's there through Saturday. Limited tickets still available for some shows.

Call 920-734-JOKE (5653) to make your reservations!!!

T.J. played Ranger Jones in the recent Yogi the Bear movie. Check out his audition tape below! He "hired" a real bear to audition with!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnOHz1U6xNs

Make sure you tune in to find out about the unusual demands T.J. has in his contract!

UN-BEAR-ABLY BIG GAME!

WHY THIS GAME IS SO IMPORTANT.

10. If the Packers win, Green Bay gets the Viper from Great America, if they lose we have to give them the Zippin' Pippin.

9. A Bears victory means reruns of Matlock on Channel 2 would be the most watched show in Green Bay television market on Super Bowl Sunday.

8. A Bears victory over the Packers in the NFC Championship is the final sign of the apocalypse according to the Book of Revelation.

7. If the Packers win, Wisconsin gets the George Halas Trophy instead of Illinois which is better than a lousy 42 million dollars in federal high speed rail funds any day.

6. The winning team will receive a congratulatory call from the President of the United States. The losers get a creepy text from Brett Favre.

5. A Green Bay loss would mean we'd all have to put away our Packer clothing and go back to wearing just blaze orange.

4. We no longer need a number 4. We're more than happy with our number 12.

3. Jay Cutler needs big Super Bowl payday so he can afford more eye shadow.

2. Mike McCarthy has a lovely dog and nobody wants to see it get hurt.

1. Obama plans to attend the Super Bowl if the Bears are playing and as leader of the free world he should be doing more important things like looking for his birth certificate.

SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE A BEAR FAN!

YOU MIGHT BE A BEARS FAN...

If your shirt is blue and orange...and your underwear is yellow and brown...you might be a Bears fan.

If you had to take a second and third job just to afford buying new jerseys every time your team has new starting quarterback...you might be a Bears fan.

If when you hear the word Butkus, you don't first think of what you had to do to your boss to get Sunday off to go to the game...you might be a Bears fan.

If you think Jay Cutler is an "elite quarterback" which is sort of like thinking Hilary Clinton is a prime piece of ass...you might be a Bears fan.

If you thought "Sexy Rexy" was a name better suited to a quarterback than a guy who makes a living at bachelorette parties in a cop uniform and a g-string...you might be a Bears fan.

If you have a mustache just like Ditka...and you’re not currently employed as a member of the Village People or the star of many successful gay porn films...you're definitely a Bears fan.

CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!

REASONS BEARS ARE EXCITED TO BE FACING THE PACKERS IN THE NFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME.

10. Jay Cutler has chance of breaking record set by former Packer Brett Favre...for most tears shed by a Quarterback.

9. Chicago players secretly love The Bears Still Suck Polka know they’ll get to hear it after getting their asses handed to them.

8. Having faced Green Bay so many times in the last 7 years, most Packer players barely even giggle anymore when the Bears' coach is introduced as "Lovie".

7. Jay Cutler excited to face Tramon Williams because he loves a man who will fight to get his hands on his balls.

6. Just glad they have to face Aaron Rogers and not some Pro-Bowl quality quarterback like Matt Ryan or Michael Vick.

5. Bears are a little light on punt returners and if this game goes like the Atlanta game, they won't even have to use them.

4. Thought Falcons would be the tougher teams because the Bears have no falcon clue.

3. Having been dead 26 years, George Halas is probably kind of stiff and his Bears getting spanked by the Packers at home in the NFC championship game should be just incentive he needs to turn over in his grave.

2. Given Brian Urlacher's history of reportedly banging Paris Hilton, he'll no doubt enjoy watching another long haired blond, this one wearing the number 52, bang the hell out of his quarterback.

1. When all is said and done, they'd just rather have their asses kicked by somebody they know.

T.J. MILLER AUDITIONS FOR THE YOGI BEAR MOVIE....WITH A LIVE BEAR

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnOHz1U6xNs

COULDN'T BEAR IT.

REAL REASONS JAY CUTLER APPEARED TO BE FIGHTING BACK TEARS ON THE SIDELINES AFTER THROWING HIS 4TH INTERCEPTION.

10. Had just been informed that Lady Gaga lost to Beyonce for best video at last night's MTV Awards.

9. Instead of spending the week watching game film that might have helped him avoid making 4 interceptions, spent most of his time watching and re-watching the ending of Marley and Me.

8. Was just envisioning what it will be like standing behind Packer Tackle Allen Barbre in unemployment line.

7. Let's just say, somebody needed a Midol.

6. The Packer bikini girls were at the game, and those are some pieces of ass guaranteed to bring a tear to your eye.

5. Just realized that not only did he cost his team the game, he also has a tiny penis.

4. Same reason I was crying this morning. Because I couldn't come up with a number 3.

2. Believes that his tears make rainbows and are delicious, life-giving food for unicorns, one of whom he thought might gallop on to the field, scoop him up and fly him back to Denver where he could magically return to playing for a football team that doesn't suck.

1. He's a genuine Bear fan and was just really sad to learn they appear to have still another useless washout at quarterback.