SLAINTE! NEW TOASTS FOR ST. PADDY'S DAY!

1) May the road rise up to meet you;
May the wind be always at your back.
And should you drink too much and pass out
May your friends stick nothing in your crack.

2) Here's to having drinks with a group of friends.
May the beer never stop flowing.
And here's hoping that Scott Walker
Never tries to put a ban on...collective bar going.

3) May the shots of whiskey be as plentiful
As a politicians lies.
And may the beer always flow as fast
As tears from Jay Cutler's eyes.

4) Life is a difficult road to travel
Full of pot holes and obstructions.
Here's to your life having fewer obstacles
Than this summer's highway 41 reconstruction.

5) May you have a belly full of beer this St. Paddy's.
And some whiskey in your brain.
It's the next best thing to have pumping through your body
Than tigers blood in your veins.

6) Should you see something wee and small this St. Paddy's Day,
That you'll never be able to forget.
I pray to God it is a leprechaun
And not a text from a Quarterback named Brett.

ST. PATRICK’S DAY PICK UP LINES

ST. PATRICK'S DAY PICK UP LINES

10. Hey baby, you make my shamrock shake.

9. Why don't you be like St. Patrick and drive the snake out of my pants?

8. I’m hoping to get lucky with a real blonde so would you lift up your skirt and show me if you have a pot o' gold.

7. You make my pants want to get up and Riverdance.

6. I understand you're catholic, so pull down my zipper and I'll introduce you to my holy trinity.

5. Your name must be Danny Boy, cause your pipe is calling me. (for use by straight women or gay men only!)

4. Wanna pet my Irish setter. You're making him stand at attention.

3. You make me feel like I'm the Republic of Ireland because since I started looking at you, my penis is Dublin.

2. Top of the morning. Wanna screw?

1. Forget the wearin' o' the green and let's get right to the wearin' of your ass like a hat!

WHILE YOU WERE AT THE WAPL IRISH FLING...

Here's what celebrities were doing on St. Patrick's Day....

Representative Eric Massa...He's going to spend his day looking for a shirt that says "Tickle Me, I'm Irish!"

Barrack Obama...will spend St. Patrick's day searching for a leprechaun to lead him to his pot of gold because it's the only way he's going to get any funding for health care. The jokes on him, however, since the leprechaun lost all his gold by investing it with AIG.

Rush Limbaugh...will spend the day seeing rainbows and leprechauns. Then again, when you're that whacked out on Oxycontin, every day you see rainbows and leprechauns.

The 4 superglue chicks...They're going to handcuff an Irishman to the bed in a Stockbridge motel and glue his shillelagh to his stomach.

Sarah Palin...will spend St. Patrick's Day at home in Wasilla, Alaska. Which is okay since she can see Ireland from her house.

Former New York Governor Elliot Spitzer...is going to pay an Irish girl thousands of dollars to kiss his Blarney Stones.

Michael Jackson...after spending years turning from black to white, will, for the first time, spend St. Patrick's Day turning an appropriate shade of green.

Len Nelson...will take some time today to dance a traditional Irish jig...to the Village People's YMCA.

Tiger Woods...will spend St. Patrick's Day looking for a lucky four leaf clover...assuming, of course, that four leaf clovers can be found growing the vulvas of cocktail waitresses and porn stars.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

In honor of St. Patrick's Day, here's a DIY video for the Irish Drinking Song (Drink and Fight) by Buck-O-Nine!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBsrZ-016fs&feature=player_embedded

And here's a video from one my favorite bands in the world: Black 47.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GViXO8bZDz8&feature=player_embedded

Erin go bragh! See you at the Irish Fling!

--Rick--