An Orthodox Hasidic newspaper Photoshopped this now iconic photo of Obama in the war room during the Osama attack. Der Tzitung cut out Hillary Clinton because they said she made the photo too "sexually suggestive". Really? Hillary? I don't know about you but I think...
Hillary Clinton is about as sexually suggestive as…
Ryan Seacrest is straight.
Brett Favre is hung.
Fond du Lac sidewalks are dry.
Former governor Jim Doyle's head is hairy.
Sarah Palin is candidate for MENSA.
Zsa Zsa Gabor is ready to run a marathon.
Larry King's sack is unwrinkled.
The front row of seats at a Melissa Etheridge concert are dry.
Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker is universally beloved.
What do you think? Some say that you can see a 30-ish Barrack Obama in the 1993 video for one of the most annoying songs ever, Whoomp, There It Is by Tag Team. Take a look. The Obama-ish guy can be seen at the 1:01 mark.
The President outraged the folks at PETA this week when he killed a fly during a televison interview.
HERE'S HOW OTHER POLITICAL FIGURES WOULD HAVE HANDLED THE FLY
Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy...would not have swatted the fly but instead would have drowned it by putting it in the passenger seat of his car and driving off a bridge.
Former President George W. Bush...would have found out what country the fly was from, then invaded it’s neighbor.
Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich...would not have harmed the fly...as a professional courtesy to a fellow parasite.
Alaska Governor Sarah Palin...would have shot the fly from a helicopter.
Senator Larry Craig...would have handled it the way he handles all flies...by unzipping it.
Former Wisconsin Governor Tommy Thompson...would just waited for the fly to land on his own skin where it would have it would have inevitably lapped up some of his perspiration...and then succumbed to cirrhosis of the liver.
Senator John Kerry...would have just shooed the fly away with his tail.
Green Bay Alderman Guy Zima...like the President, would have swatted the fly. Preferably before in laid eggs on the meat in his pants.
The Wisconsin Legislature...would have killed the fly the way it kills everything. By taxing it to death.
Talk show host Rush Limbaugh...would have declared the presence of the fly to be a sign of a nation in a state of moral decay that is rotting from within because of weak liberal leadership before stocking up on illegally obtained painkillers and Viagra and heading off to a country with a reputation for underage sex tourism.
Appleton Mayor Tim Hanna...wouldn’t have done anything to the fly. Somebody who's that full of crap must be surrounded by so many of them that he doesn’t even notice anymore.
Former Vice President Dick Cheney...would have captured the fly and detained it at off shore detainment facility where it would have been periodically water-boarded in an effort to learn if it has any knowledge of what other flies might be planning.
Every time they show Joe Biden: take a shot, until your eyes are so out of focus his hair plug look totally natural.
Every time they show Vice President Cheney: drink three shots, one for each of the 6’s on his head.
If Cheney is sitting in his new wheelchair and is actually smiling: drink shots until you have more trouble walking than he does.
If they show Bill and Hillary acting like they actually love each other: drink something that will taste just as good coming back up and it was going down.
Every time they show President Bush looking as confused as a hungry baby in topless bar: drink a glass of warm milk.
If the station you’re watching shows a close-up of the press corps: start drinking brews until your beer goggles are so thick you’d bang Helen Thomas.
Every time MS-NBC shows a shot of Keith Olbermann or Chris Matthews, take a drink: of anything. Just to take your eyes off the TV long enough so you don’t find yourself looking at their very noticeable Obama boners.
If outgoing Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice gets caught up in the spirit of “change” and decides to use the occasion to finally “come out” by snaking her tongue down Cheney’s lesbian daughter’s throat. Like them, enjoy the licker of your choice.
Every time Obama says the word “change” during his speech: DO NOT DRINK!!! We’re not trying to kill people here. If you took even just a sip every time he said the “c” word, you’d die. Seriously. Even if you only drank water, you will drown!
And if, following President Obama’s speech, you find yourself glowing with optimism, certain that all the problems of the last 8 years are about to magically disappear and all will be right with the world: drink a case of Red Bull You gotta wake up, man! You are dreaming!
Well, one administration comes to an end and another begins. They say the Obama inauguration will cost about 45 million dollars. While that all comes from donations, I still can't help but think that there are a lot better ways to spend that kind of jing. Face it, 45 mill is more than just spare change that we can believe in!
Join us for the Rick adn Len Show Tuesday morning for your Inauguration speech drinking game!
Until then, enjoy the Late Show's look back at 8 years of Great Moments in Presidential Speeches!
An Orthodox Hasidic newspaper Photoshopped this now iconic photo of Obama in the war room during the Osama attack. Der Tzitung cut out Hillary Clinton because they said she made the photo too "sexually suggestive". Really? Hillary? I don't know about you but I think... 
