WEENIE OF THE WEEK 7-29-11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week...20-year-old Jordan Cardella of South Milwaukee and his two buddies Anthony Woodall and Michael Wezyk. Cardella convinced his friends to shoot him with a rifle so that his ex-girlfriend would feel sorry for him and take him back. Even the prosecutor called this "the most phenomenally stupid case I've ever seen". And Wezyk's attorney agreed, saying he was "sorry to bring something so stupid into (the judges) courtroom".

So,

For getting his buddy to shoot a hole in his arm...which should go perfectly with the hole he must have in his head.

For coming up with a plan so dumb, Jordan, Michael and Anthony should change their names to Moe, Larry and Curly.

And for proving that a shot in the arm with a syringe may treat a virus but a shot in the arm with a rifle is no cure for a broken heart.

We are proud to name Jordan Cardella, Michael Wezyk and Anthony Woodall of South Milwaukee as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIES OF THE WEEK!

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 7.22.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...the Appleton cop who shut down the lemonade stand run by a pair of 9 and 10 year old girls. The cop and police chief have since apologized indicating that they had misinterpreted a new ordinance enacted by the Appleton City Council.

So,

For providing his own competition to the lemonade stand by leaving a sour taste in all our mouths for free.

For proving that in Appleton, when life gives you lemons, you make...lemon bars, lemon nut biscotti or a nice lemon meringue pie, anything but lemonade because, if you do, you’re just asking for trouble.

For apparently thinking the intent of the Appleton City Council when they wrote the new ordinance was to crack down on greedy, opportunistic, money-grubbing 9 and 10 year old girls...which, now that I think about it, given the history of the Appleton City Council, really isn't that far-fetched.

We are proud to name the Appleton cop that shut down two little girls lemonade stand as this week's Rick and Len Show...Weenie of the Week.

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 7.15.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...Tyler Kosmoski, the owner of the Diamond Factory, a Ashwaubenon jewelry store, who allegedly took in customers items for cleaning or repair or to sell by consignment only to turn around and pawn the items before fleeing the area. Police say they have received at least 75 complaints concerning missing items valued at $100,000 and growing. Police finally tracked Kosmoski to the Wausau area after his vehicle was found stuck in a forest near Rib Mountain. He was arrested there Wednesday night after a foot chase.

So,

For at a time when a competitor "wants to be your jeweler" instead prefers to "want to be your felon".

For going from selling 14 karat gold bracelets, to himself, sporting a pair made from a far less precious metal.

For going from selling earrings to 'earing the words "you're under arrest".

And for allegedly committing acts that could result in him being sentenced to spending up to 10 years in a place where the only jewels he’ll be getting close to will be those of an overly affectionate cellmate.

We are proud to name runaway Ashwaubenon jeweler Tyler Kosmoski as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 7.1.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...well, first let me say this, earlier this week, we had the story of a man in Fond du Lac who had to be rescued by firefighters after he got his hand stuck while trying to retrieve a Snickers Bar from his car's gas tank. Afterward, we received a number of e-mails from listeners indicating that this poor guy should be Weenie of the Week. Really? You think he should be the Weenie? Wasn't he just doing what anyone else would do if they found someone had jammed a Snickers Bar into their gas tank? Seriously, what would you do in that situation? Leave it in there and see what kind of gas mileage it gets? So, I say "Nay!" This unfortunate Fond du Lacian is not the weenie. No! He is the victim! So, we would like to proudly name as this week’s Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...the jack wagon who jammed the Snickers Bar in this guy’s gas tank in the first place? Who does a thing like that?

So, for jamming something in a tight space where it doesn’t belong...an act they themselves could end up on the receiving end of should they be apprehended and sent to prison.

For apparently thinking the guys car was running like Betty White.

So, for seeming believing that there are now four grades of gasoline; regular, premium, unleaded and NOUGAT!

We are proud to name whomever stuck the Snickers Bar in the guy's gas tank in Fond du Lac (or as I like to call them, "The Bad Snicker Jammer of Fond du Lac County" ) as this week's Rick and Len Show...Weenie of the Week!

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 6.10.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenies of the Week...a group of anti-Walker protesters who, this Wednesday, crossed the line by disrupting a Special Olympics ceremony in Madison that the Governor was part of, while dressed as zombies to make the point that...well, who the hell knows what kind of point they were trying to make. They were dressed as zombies and disrupted a ceremony for Special Olympians!

So,

For dressing as zombies who are known to always be looking for "Brains, brains, BRAINS!" when admittedly, they clearly are in need some.

For acting like they are the walking dead when evidently, they're only really dead from the neck up.

And for showing that the only thing more horrific than their zombie make up...is their choice of time and place to protest.

We are proud to name the anti-Walker protesters who disrupted a Special Olympics ceremony this week in Madison as our Rick and Len Show...Weenies of the Week!

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 6.3.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Tina Jacobson, the Neenah woman accused of embezzling AT LEAST $470,000 over about 5 years from the non-profit Community Blood Center which provides blood to 18 hospitals in Wisconsin and the U.P..

So,

For apparently making more money off of blood than anyone has since the manufacturers of Kotex.

For allegedly committing an act that proves you don't need to be a vampire to be a blood sucker.

And for allegedly stealing from a non-profit organization...an act...

Lower than the ratings of Paris Hilton's new TV Show!

Lower than Rick's ranking on Hot or Not.com!

Lower than Larry King's balls!!!

We are proud to name Tina Jacobson as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 5.27.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...Green Bay Mayor Jim Schmitt who was the driving force behind the purchase and construction of Elvis' favorite roller coaster for Bay Beach. However, after spending over 3 million dollars to bring the Zippin' Pippin to Green Bay, Schmitt and his team miscalculated how much power it would use resulting in the roller coaster blowing a fuse on it's second day of operation leaving a full load of riders stuck on board.

So,

For being no stranger to coming up short.

For building a roller coaster that has the exact same problem he has as mayor...not enough power to get the job done.

For taking Elvis Presely's favorite roller coast, and making it look like "a hunka hunka burnin' junk. I said a hunka hunka burnin' junk, I said a hunka hunka burnin' junk".

We are proud to name Green Bay Mayor and Zippin' Pimp, Jim Schmitt as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 5.13.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Judge Phillip Kirk of Waupaca who it was revealed this week that when sentencing a 71-year-old child molester appeared to defend the man's actions because the man grew up gay in a time when coming out of the closet wasn’t an option. Judge Kirk's comments included these actual statements:

"I think that if anyone believes that in the last 10 years or 15 years all of a sudden you developed an interest in homosexuality and young boys, then I must have looked ravishing in my prom dress this year."

"No one knew there was a closet to come out of in those days. You had to be very careful, because you could have found your penis floating in the Wolf as walleye bait."

And, "I think you were born gayer than a sweet smelling jock strap."

So,

For proving that justice is not only blind, her funny bone apparently isn't working very well, either.

For not realizing that just because you're gay it doesn't make you a child molester any more than wearing a long flowing black robe to work each day makes you a drag queen.

And for making me wonder whose jock strap he's been sniffing that it smells so sweet because mine has always smelled like ass and nuts. (Maybe it was taint-ed!)

We are proud to name Judge Phillip Kirk as this week's Rick and Len Show...Weenie of the Week.

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 5.6.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Assistant Outagamie County Staff Attorney Kenneth Wagner who, it was revealed this week, was cited for "engaging in sexual contact for compensation" at Appleton's Heavenly Touch Massage Parlor. Wagner was busted at Heavenly Touch just a few weeks after Oshkosh assemblyman Gordon Hintz made headlines by getting cited at the same place. Wagner has since resigned his position with Outagamie County.

So,

For resigning his job, which really tugs at our heartstrings, just not as hard as the woman at Heavenly Touch apparently tugged at something else.

For proving that, unlike a session at the Heavenly Touch Massage Parlor, not every story has a happy ending.

And for doing something that left him feeling like a jerk. Which, ironically, the last time he felt like a jerk, he apparently went to the massage parlor and paid someone to do it.

We are proud to name Assistant Outagamie County Staff Attorney Kenneth Wagner as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 4.29.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...38-year-old Becky Riiser of Wausau who this past week pleaded no contest to giving cookies laced with a half box of laxatives to her college biology professor.

So,

For diminishing her chances of graduating summa cum laude in favor of trying to graduate summa cum Ex-Lax.

For not understanding that a passing grade does not generally result from making your professor pass some stools.

For not realizing that many college professors are so full of crap, a half a box of laxatives is barely going to make a dent.

We are proud to name Becky Riiser, a 38-year-old woman who gave her college professor cookies laced with Ex-Lax as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 4.22.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Joseph W. Murphy of Janesville who has been charged with allegedly bilking a mentally handicapped Sheboygan man out of $30,000. Murphy has quite a history with the law dating back to 1984 when he was first arrested for armed robbery but was given a pardon by then Governor, Tommy Thompson. Murphy repaid Tommy's kindness by calling a press conference to announce he had taken advantage of Thompson. In 2000, Murphy was accused of stealing about $70,000 from his then wife during a quickie courtship and marriage, draining her bank accounts and using her personal information to run up more than $45,000 in debt. He also made news in 1997, when after receiving $50,000 in back benefits, Murphy then reportedly accused the Social Security Administration of not making an effort to protect him from himself which resulted in him gambling it all away.

So,

For being such an enormous tool he should have the words "Snap-On" tattooed across his forehead.

For making his case to be the National Colonoscopy poster boy since he truly is a perfect a-hole.

And for going by the name James, when he should be known as Richard because this guy really is a Dick.

We are proud to name James W. Murphy of Janesville who's accused of bilking $30,000 from a mentally handicapped man (and all that other stuff) as this week’s Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 4.8.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Bryan I. Hutcherson, the Oshkosh man who reportedly let his dog, Snoop, starve to death because "it was becoming too stressful and costing too much money to feed him."

So,

For caring for his dog by the book, assuming that book is How to Raise a Pit Bull by Michael Vick.

For thinking feeding the dog was too costly which will hopefully be nothing compared to the price he'll eventually have to pay for his actions.

And for making me hope that where ever they lock him up, it will be some place where it's just a little too stressful and a little too costly to feed him...other than a steady supply of meat on prison shower night.

We are proud to name Bryan I. Hutcherson, or Oshkosh who reportedly let his dog starve to death because it was too stressful and costly to feed him as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK!

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 2.25.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...Governor Scott Walker's chief of staff, Keith Gilkes. Gilkes is the man who signed off on setting up the phone call between the governor and the blogger who claimed to be billionaire financier David Koch which, of course, turned out to be a prank. Gilkes failed to recognize the call as phony, even when the blogger told him he’d have to talk to the governor using the online service Skype which of course, allowed him to avoid caller I.D.. Gilkes didn't even smell a rat when the fake Koch told him he didn't have a cell phone because, "My g-damn maid, Maria, put my phone in the washer. I'd have her deported, but she works for next to nothing."

So,

For being the biggest sucker American politics has seen since Monica Lewinsky's wriggled out from under Clinton's desk.

For setting up the call between the fake Koch and Governor Walker despite there being more red flags than you’d see at a May Day parade in Moscow.

For helping Walker embarrass himself and become the butt of jokes throughout both the state and nation, something, traditionally, Wisconsin Governors have always done without any assistance.

We are proud to name Keith Gilkes, Governor Walker’s Chief of Staff as this week’s Rick and Len Show…WEENIE OF THE WEEK.

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 1.21.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenies of the Week...The Green Bay Press Gazette. Oh, sure, we'd like to name someone from Chicago; one of the Bears, a member of their coaching staff, one of the truly talent-challenged sports columnists from either of their daily newspapers, perhaps some rabid, delusional Bear fan who truly believes Jay Cutler is an "elite" quarterback and not just some man-scara and guy-liner wearing mama's boy with an okay arm and a near debilitating personality disorder. And yet, it is impossible to ignore just how epically stupid it was for the Green Bay Press Gazette to misspell "Chicago" C-H-I-C-A-C-O in about 24 point type on the front page of their Monday edition. We get it. Mistakes happen. We all make them. Nobody's perfect. But seriously, "CHICACO" and NO ONE noticed an error that glaring in one inch high letters scrawled across the top of the front page of the paper.

So, for making an error so glaring Ray Charles could have seen it...and he's blind AND dead!

For giving Chicago an extra "C" which is two letter grades higher than anyone at the Press Gazette ever received in spelling.

And

For reinforcing what most FIB's already believe, that all Wisconsinites are illiterate, ass-scratching nimrods, when, as we all know, that only describes Gannett newspaper copy editors.

We are proud to name The Green Bay Press Gazette as this week's Rick and Len...WEENIES OF THE WEEK.

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 1.14.11

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...the guy who tried to pick me (Rick) up Thursday morning on my way to work. If you missed the story, I was walking down the street at 4am when I stopped at the corner for a red light. Despite having a green light himself, the driver of a car at the intersection wildly gestured at me to go. I walked across the street, turning to give him a thankful courtesy nod, when he rolled down his window and yelled "Hey girl! Can I give you a ride somewhere?" "Hey girl?" Are you f'n kidding me? You think I'm a woman? I may not be an attractive man but even on my best day, I look worse than Brandi Favre's mug shot.

So,

For driving a car when he apparently has such poor vision, he'd be better off sliding over to the passenger seat and letting Stevie Wonder take the wheel.

For having as bad a taste in "women" as the Chicago Bears have traditionally had in quarterbacks.

And for trying to pick up people he thinks are women at 4am in the middle of January on the streets of Appleton, Wisconsin which must have a rate of success akin to that of a sturgeon spearer in the Mojave Desert.

We are proud to name the guy who tried to pick me up yesterday morning as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 12.3.10

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenies of the Week...all the line cutters and door rushers who on Black Friday caused problems at area businesses including (but not limited to) Toys R Us and Menard's in Grand Chute.

So,

For introducing Jerry Springer Show etiquette combined with WWE Cage Match rules to the season of peace and love.

For fighting and bickering on Black Friday when everybody was supposed to have gotten that out of their systems with their families on Thanksgiving.

For pushing and shoving, yelling and cursing and just generally engaging in behavior so rude, so uncouth, so unsettling they were only a closet and a whore away from being Charlie Sheen.

We are proud to name everybody who on Black Friday caused problems at area businesses as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIES OF THE WEEK!

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 11.24.10

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Show Weenie of the Week...Appleton Department of Public Works Director Paula Vandehey who issued a notice that people planning to attend the Downtown Appleton Christmas Parade would not be allowed to leave chairs or blankets on the street this year to reserve their spots any earlier than 9am yesterday morning. Vandehey indicated that the department would collect anything they found left out earlier than that. Vandehey receives this dubious honor for two reasons. 1.) She didn't make the proclamation until 11:40 Monday morning and was then surprised that many people did not get the message. And 2.) For not acting on her threat to collect the items left out before 9am, thus, penalizing those who followed the rules and, in doing so, lost their prime viewing spots to those who did not.

So,

For making a decision that left more people standing out in the cold than the Wisconsin smoking ban.

For making a threat emptier than the heads on the set of Jersey Shore.

And for leaving College Avenue littered with so many old, dirty lawn chairs and filthy blankets, they might as well make downtown Appleton an alternate site for Country USA.

We are proud to name Appleton Department of Public Works Director Paula Vandehey as this week's Rick and Len...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.

WEENIE OF THE WEEK 11.19.10

We are proud to name as this week's Rick and Len Weenie of the Week...66-year-old Steven Cowan of Black Earth, Wisconsin, near Madison, who this week threatened his wife and shot his television set while keeping police at bay for 15 hours all because he was angry that Bristol Palin is on Dancing with the Stars. Cowen was reportedly upset because he believes the young Palin is not a good a dancer and the only reason she is on the show is "f'n politics".

So,

For destroying his television set meaning Sarah Palin can now see Russia from her house better than he can see her daughter from his living room.

For putting a bullet through his TV while watching Dancing with the Stars where as a normal man would have put it through his head.

And for realizing what tens of thousands of Wisconsinites have not, that there is no need to brave the cold, wet northern woods this weekend in search of a 30-point buck when he could stay at home and bag a 30-inch Zenith.

We are proud to name 66-year-old Steven Cowan of Dane County who shot his TV and staged a 15 hour police stand off because he was upset that Bristol Palin was on Dancing With the Stars as this week's Rick and Len Show...WEENIE OF THE WEEK.