ARCHIE CLUNKER

For those of you thinking about taking advantage of the government's Cash for Clunkers program, we at the Rick and Len Show put together a definitive list of signs that your vehicle might be a clunker.

If your shocks have less bounce left in them than the springs in Paris Hilton's Posturpedic...your vehicle might be a clunker.

If the value of the blue book itself is greater than the blue book value of your car...your vehicle might be a clunker.

If it emits more smoke than Willie Nelson's tour bus...your vehicle might be a clunker.

If your driveway has been the site of more fluid leaks than Larry King’s news chair...your vehicle might be a clunker.

If it has more miles on it than the entire cast of The View...your vehicle might be a clunker.

If your fuel pump has blown more times than a Motley Crue groupie...your vehicle might be a clunker.

If the Jesus from your dashboard is his hiding in your glove box because he’s too embarrassed to be seen riding in your car...your vehicle might be a clunker.

If the odometer has rolled over more times than the Outagamie County District Attorney's office has for Judge Froehlich's son...your vehicle might be a clunker.

If it’s even rustier than Rick's sexual technique...your vehicle is definitely a clunker!